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About Cheerio

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  • Birthday 11/16/1999

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  1. You're not too young at all! I was about 14 when I realized that I was aromantic because, like you, I hated romance in television/books and couldn't understand why I didn't have "crushes" like my friends were describing them. I ignored this discovery and tried to convince myself that I wasn't aromantic for awhile. But now, I'm 19 and I realize that that's what I truly am. If you really have no urge to change the fact that you're not in a relationship, then don't. Your peace of mind and your thoughts on dating are a priority and you shouldn't change that just because you feel pressured to. There's nothing wrong with you for not experiencing the same desires as "everyone else" because there are plenty of aromantic people who feel the same way. For me, what helped with coming to terms with my own aromanticism, was going on youtube and watching other aromantic people sharing their stories. I realized that 1) I could relate to many of their stories and 2) that there were a lot more of us than I had previously thought. The road to self discovery can be difficult, but on arocalypse, there are plenty of people who can support you on your journey! Just know that your feelings are completely valid and that you deserve to live your life any way that you want to live it.
  2. I definitely agree! At my college, which is overwhelmingly white, it's difficult for me to find LGBT+ spaces where I feel truly at home as a black aro/ace female.
  3. No problem! Using any kind of app and/or finding relationships like this can be intimidating, but be patient with yourself and do what you're comfortable with. You'll eventually find what you're looking for! Best of luck!
  4. So, like I said, I thought that I was bisexual/biromantic (and was in total denial that I was aro/ace) so I never ended up using it other than swiping left on everyone because I didn't really want a relationship romantic or otherwise😂. I do however, have friends who love this app and actually prefer it over tinder. All of the people I know use it, say that it's great because even though you don't match with people who have that specific setting, you know exactly what kind of relationship they want without really having to ask. Depending on how big the area is, (for example if it's large), I'm sure that you'll find plenty of people who just want "something casual". The fun profile questions makes it easier to strike up a conversation.
  5. Can I suggest the app Bumble? I tried to use this when I still thought I was bisexual lmao but it is super cute! You can indicate what kind of relationship you're looking for on your profile; anywhere from "something casual", "friends" or "relationship". You can see what other people are interested in as well so you can choose people who are only looking for sex.
  6. Up until recently, I thought that all of my squishes were crushes. I would really want to spend time with someone and become close with them but I would confuse wanting to be like their best friend with wanting to be in a romantic relationship with them. I would think that it might be nice to cuddle with them or hold hands but it wasn't until I was on dates or in situations that had "romantic vibes" that I realized that thats not what I wanted at alllll lmao. Any attraction (platonic or otherwise, I'm still questioning) that I would have, would disappear immediately once it was reciprocated. I could only think about how much I wanted to get away from the person (girl or guy-I used to think I was bisexual) no matter how nice they were. Now, I know how to differentiate platonic attraction from what could possibly romantic attraction. Ex. I get super excited, fond and/or "soft" towards people and I'm like "is this romantic attraction?" but then I think about kissing them or something and I'm like "nooope"😂. Like you, I tend to have aesthetic attraction and the occasional bouts of sensual attraction where I really want to hug someone for a long time. I sometimes consider that I might be gray romantic because, in theory, I might be open to having a QPR or a plantonic relationship in general with someone; like a platonic life partner or something.
  7. that aromanticism is a choice and that we identify as aro just because we can't find someone who'll date us
  8. YMBAI if you forget/can't fathom the fact that there are actually people who want nothing more in life than to fall in love and marry.
  9. 1) I also did this!!^^^ (And still do😂). 2) I would also look up "what do crushes feel like?" online 3) I couldn't understand why I would get so angry/annoyed when someone assumed that I had a "crush" on them or when someone made a move on me. 4) I absolutely hated romance on television and was super dramatic about it lol. I'm older now so I'm kind of resigned, but it still annoys me and I avoid watching/reading things that I know have heavy romantic plots in them. 5) I didn't realize (until I was older) that other people actually fantasize about being with a romantic and/or sexual partner. When I was a teen, my adult fantasies were (and still are) about me living in a cute house, in a beautiful area surrounded by nature, either by myself or with a close friend(s)/roommate(s).
  10. Hi everyone! My name is Kaitlyn and I’m currently in the process of accepting my identity as aro/ace! I actually just made an account on AVEN as well so I'll just copy and paste my intro🤣 I stumbled across the term art/ace online when I was 14 (I’m nearly 20 now) and it was like everything clicked into place. Other people were describing experiences that I could actually relate with! However, my joyous revelation soon turned to disappointment because it seemed as if everyone in the “real world” was dating someone or at least crushing on someone. I wasn’t interested in romance, yet, I was terrified at the thought of being lonely for the rest of my life. So in senior year of high school, I began to put myself out there. Throughout senior year, freshman year of college, and then part of sophomore year, I would get “squishes” on people (and confuse them for crushes) and I never failed to become disinterested, repulsed and even alarmed when they wanted to preform romantic gestures with me in turn. I was so confused because this kept happening over and over and over again. For a while, I considered that I might possibly be a lesbian or bisexual but I soon realized that I wasn’t interested in girls either. I would try to find answers about my “situation” by searching online and ironically (and disappointingly for me at the time), the only results that would appear were from aromantic and asexuality themed forums. I was incredibly bummed about this until recently. I attended pride and briefly met a girl who also identified as aro/ace. She’s the first person who I had ever met who identified as such. Realizing that I wasn’t alone and that it was possible for people to live happily as aromantic and asexual was so incredibly liberating. I actually cried lmao! This was a few weeks ago and I am still coming to terms with it. I still struggle with self doubt every now and then but overall, I feel as if a huge pressure has been lifted off of my chest. It's super cool and validating to have online forums like Arocalypse and I'm excited to join this community. Sorry this is so long lol
  11. I am in the same boat as you Ruth! I too just recently started accepting myself as aromantic/asexual and I am slowly coming to terms with it. I struggle with self doubt every now and then but I become more content when I remind myself that I don't have to be in a relationship. I know personally that I wouldn't be happy in one anyway (regardless of what people/the media says) so why would I sacrifice my happiness in order to fit in? Struggling to overcome society's expectations is super difficult but it can be done with determination and by being patient with yourself! No matter what anyone says, friendships are just as valid and as strong and as romantic relationships, if not, in some cases, stronger. Still, if I find myself feeling down, I always feel better when I watch aromantic youtubers talk about their experiences or search for aro/ace memes🤣.
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