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About aspecofstardust

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  • Birthday August 9

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    Aspec of Stardust
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  1. I never had crushes when my friends started having them. Also, I knew from like 10 years old that I wasn't interested in dating, I just didn't have the words to explain for a long time why I knew that was the case. It took me 6 more years to find the word aromanticism!
  2. I love love love tea but I do also really enjoy coffee. I always have so many different kinds of tea on hand but I particularly enjoy spiced black teas like chai and fruity/hibiscus herbal teas. This year I'm working on starting a tea garden! I'm going to try to grow lavender and mint. We'll see how it goes!
  3. @The Angel of Eternity I'm not sure I understand what you mean by speaking activities -- do you mean just like a discussion group where you talk about certain topics? @Naegleria fowleri yeah that sounds like so much fun just to be able to hang out with people in an inclusive environment. I'm going to make the group centered around aromanticism and asexuality (and be careful to not conflate the two for sure @Mark) but I don't want anyone to have to come out if they aren't comfortable and I want to encourage attendance so we won't be picky with who participates as long as everything is respectful. Thanks everyone for your ideas, keep them coming!
  4. I mean I personally consider myself single but I also think I have a different relationship with the word than most of society. Some people see it as being sad or isolating but I don't really find it to be that way. Maybe if I were looking for a romantic relationship being single would be a bigger deal to me, I don't know.
  5. yep this has definitely happened to me but I hadn't seen it put into words before! I think as aros its probably something we are more keenly aware of than alloros.
  6. I'm in the process of getting an aros and aces student org started on my campus this year. If you were to attend an event or participate in an in-person community dedicated to aros and aces, what sorts of activities would you want to see? What would keep you coming back? Any other advice?
  7. trying to convince your allo friends to not snowplow your headcanons.....
  8. I highly recommend The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee. It is a sequel, but you don't really have to read the first book to follow the plot. The main character Felicity is aroace, although because it's a historical fiction book she doesn't use the terms explicitly. But she has experiences and feelings that I really relate with! And also the author has confirmed that if she were living today she would likely consider herself aroace. It's one of my favorite books.
  9. all the time! When I watched Captain Marvel back in March I really saw Carol and Maria as a qpr, but I got totally stomped on by even my close friends who saw them as lesbians. I just wish that queer allos got as excited about aro and/or ace representation as I get about other kinds of queer representation.
  10. So far I haven't bothered coming out to anyone who I didn't know would already understand at least a little bit about what being aro means. That said, when I come out to people I come out as aro and ace, there's no one I'm out to as only one or the other. Somewhat related, I'm trying to start an aces and aros group at my school, mostly to have more of a sense of community, but I will also probably have to get more comfortable talking about aromanticism (and asexuality) with allos, and coming out to people I don't really know. I'm not too worried about how this will be handled at my school because generally it is a very queer-friendly environment, but I do get worried about potential consequences if information spreads.
  11. Exactly! The boundaries of what a qpr is is totally up to the people involved. I know what kinds of relationships I'd really like to have in the future, but am I ever going to be able to find someone who won't leave me when they start a romantic partnership? It's tricky.
  12. There are so many signs looking back that i was aro -- when I was 10 there was this one boy (and also his friends) who followed me and my friend around and kind of just made our year miserable. I told my parents about it to see if they could do anything to help, and my dad told me that he bet that in a few years I would go on a date with him. I knew he was wrong, but at the time I didn't have the words to explain why I knew he was wrong, so I just had to let it go. I wonder if he even remembers that now..... A lot of girls around me from a young age were planning their weddings or thinking about who their dream boyfriend was, and I just could not relate at all. I honestly think that if I knew what aromanticism was when I was around 10 I would have started calling myself aro. A lot of alloromantic people start getting crushes in early elementary school (6-9 years old) and I didn't at all.
  13. My issue with thinking about qprs right now is that I have such a hard time distinguishing for myself what the difference is between a qpr and a very close friendship. Trying to draw the line for me between what is platonic and what is romantic is super tricky.
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