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Philotes

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About Philotes

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  • Name
    Philotes
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She/her

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  1. Idk if this has been said yet, but Will from stranger things is totally aro (although the show might make him gay). And I totally agree with Elsa and Merida! Rn I'm watching Vikings and maybe Athelstan could be aro, but I have only watched the first 1.5 season so that might still change
  2. I would also like to be in a fwb type of situation, but with actually being friends. I have tried dating apps for this but the idea of romance lurking in the dark made it a very uncomfortable experience for me. The main problem with fwb would be that I would be replaced with a romantic partner for the other as @Mark said. I guess that I would also be open to one night stands, but I would have to feel completely comfortable with the other person.
  3. I think I mostly crave a deep emotional connection with someone, but not in a romantic way. Something I also struggle with is that I will probably never be someones most important person, because that is usually also reserved for romantic partners. For those two reasons I would perhaps want a commited relationship, but I think I would be to uncomfortable in a romantic relationship. A qpr would be perfect for me I think
  4. I first came across the term 'aromantic' in 2016, but I did not think that it applied to me. I sort of rediscovered the term in 2018 and I started to see how well the term fit me.
  5. Hi, I hope you find some awesome new friends here and that you can come to terms with being aro!
  6. Hi and welcome to Arocalypse!
  7. I have never been in a relationship but I have been asked on dates. I used to get sort of excited when people asked me on dates, because I felt like that meant that I was doing something right. But I always cancelled the dates because even the idea of it made me so incredibly uncomfortable that I just could not go through with it.
  8. Hi and welcome to Arocalypse! I hope you meet some awesome people
  9. Welcome to Arocalypse! I hope you have a great time on here
  10. Hi, I'm glad that you found arocalypse! I hope you have a good time on here
  11. Hi and nice to meet you!
  12. Whenever I have a conversation about aromanticism with one of the friends I am out to, she always says that many people from our generation (millennials) do not have a partner and that I am thus not that different from everyone else. Apart from the fact that it is not true, I get that she just wants to make sure that I do not feel like I am weird but it feels so incredibly invalidating everytime she says it. It feels like she just completely disregards the struggles I have had (and still) have when it comes to accepting my aroness. 

    1. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      have you told her this?  it's possible she doesn't understand the difference between the reasons some others don't have/want a partner and the reason you don't (your orientation).  i understand why it would bother you.  i had someone emphatically tell me how lucky i was to be aro since i would thus avoid romantic heartbreak and drama, and while i do, it's not that simple, and i felt it wasn't their place to make that comment.  i would suggest making your feelings known.

    2. Philotes

      Philotes

      No I haven't told her, but you are right and I should tell her. I guess I am worried that I might lose her support if I explain the difference to her. This is probably an irrantional fear because she is really supportive of everyone's orientation but it still plays a part... 

    3. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      i get it, i was so nervous to come out to the people who really matter to me, even though i knew they'd be supportive.  it does sound like your friend wants to be.  good luck.

  13. I have had very different experiences with different people. My two best frieds reacted understanding and accepting. It probably helps that they are both not really a fan of very intense romantic relationships and gestures. They both have a boyfriend but they do not really put the focus on that when we meet up. The are also the only two people that I have thirdwheeled with (with their respecitve boyfriends) and not felt like the thirdwheel. My sister was a whole different story. I first told here that I was bisexual and she was relieved that I wasn't asexual ("Oh good you're not asexual!"). After which I said, no I'm not asexual but I am aromantic. Here immediate response was "huh is that a thing?" and "you should date to be sure" (nevermind the fact that I did try to date and that was a horrible experience). She hasn't brought it up again but I am fairly sure that she is still holding out hope that I will find someone. I recently (as in yesterday) sort of indirectly came out to a not so good friend of mine. We were with a couple of people and he randomly asked us what we wanted to do on our honeymoon. I answered honestly and said that I didn't want to get married. He wanted to know why, so I said that I didn't want a relationship. He almost seemed offended by me saying this and he wanted to know why I was so "afraid" of having a relationship. He said that he wanted to understand my point of view, but the rest of the conversation was just him telling me that I am wrong and that relationships are the golden standard and that I'm weird for not wanting any of it. I eventually cut of the converstation but I am still pretty hurt by it. He will also probably get back to it, so I am not looking forward to that. But in the end, the people that matter to me most (apart from my sister) reacted positively!
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