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raavenb2619

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About raavenb2619

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  • Name
    raavenb2619
  • Gender
    Non-binary
  • Pronouns
    They/them
  • Romanticism
    Aro
  • Sexuality
    Ace

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  1. I...wow. I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not I want/would want a qpr, and I feel like you’ve read my mind. Everything makes a lot more sense now. Thank you.
  2. 😂 yeah I like the Disney Renaissance movies but a bunch of them are love stories that don’t exactly hold up under much scrutiny. (And Beauty and the Beast is definitely the most arophobic)
  3. I second The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy, and add Baker Thief by Claudie Arseneault. I can’t remember if the text explicitly says “alloaro” or “allosexual aromantic”, but it is made very clear that the MC is alloaro (and also genderfluid). And there’s representation of a lot (like a lot a lot) of other queer identities too.
  4. Yeah, Googling “queerplatonic relationship” gives me mostly articles like “X signs you’re in a queerplatonic relationship without even knowing”, which feels icky and amatonormative, but very little that criticizes amatonormativity and relationship hierarchies. Which makes me wonder, do the non aspecs writing these articles know that they’re harmful?
  5. I recently came across a very romance-heavy song from my early childhood that I secretly disliked while everyone else loved it. Even after hearing this song for a bit and remembering quite vividly that I’d disliked it, it took me quite awhile to put all the pieces together
  6. The TV show. It's been a bit since I've watched it (and this based only on the TV show, not anything else), so I'm a bit hazy on the details (and very hazy on the names), so correct me if I'm wrong about any of the following, but... Aziraphale is with Crowley (makes sense. this show is about their interpersonal relationship and we get a lot of chemistry between them, so I have no complaints about this) Guy who breaks computers ends up with witch lady (ok sure? they had some on screen chemistry in the show this is sort of plausible) Old witchfinder cult leader guy ends up with lady who shared a body with Aziraphale briefly (seriously? didn't he super hate/distrust her for like 90% of the show? is he ending up with her because we need a happy ending and it's not a happy ending if their are single adult humans? i think so)
  7. Sometimes I end up in a situation where all the allos around me expect/assume that I’m allo and thus am interested in romance, dating, performing romantically coded actions, etc, an expectation that makes me uncomfortable. Now, I’d be happy to have a nuanced discussion on aromanticism, romance, and amatonormativity later, in the moment I just need to escape the situation as easily as possible. Most of the time I say something like “Actually, I’m aromantic, so [your assumption about me is wrong]”. Pros: it’s true, since I’m aromantic and their assumption that I’m interested in dating/romance/whatever is wrong. Cons: it promotes a limited, overgeneralized understanding of aromanticism since aros can still want to date/be romance favorable/like romantically coded actions, etc. I’ve run up against this drawback myself when friends are confused by how I could like a romance webcomic. Does anyone have anything better to say that’s also fairly quick and painless? (Something like “I’m not interested in dating” won’t work a lot of the time because people love to reply with “you just need to find the right person”/[insert amatonormative comment of your choice])
  8. For me, it’s linking back to this Arocalypse post. Is it supposed to link to an external site?
  9. Oh man, I’d completely forgotten about that. It always confused me, why could you only have one best friend? Why aren’t I allowed to care a lot about multiple friends?
  10. Speaking of this, is there much consensus on a term to refer to the whole community? I’ve always used “arospec” and “aro spectrum” as a broad term that referred to anyone who fell under the aromantic umbrella (handle aros as well as demiros, greyros, etc).
  11. I do this as well, often saying something along the lines of “you might you look into terms like X, Y, or Z. But if you don’t like any of those, or you don’t want a more specific label, that’s okay too.” I guess my guiding philosophy is to guess what information might be most helpful/relevant and suggest that (as opposed to every single identity and nuanced experience), while being positive, accepting/affirming, and emphasizing personal agency for choosing labels so that the questioning person feels free to learn, explore, and try out some labels if they want to, all without worrying about gatekeeping and gatekeepers.
  12. These two links helped me a bunch, but it’s been a while since I looked through them so they might be predominantly focused on aroaces. This could be of use to aros who are scared of being aro I haven’t looked through AUREA recently, but there might be useful resources there. (Ignore my formatting, I’m in a rush on mobile)
  13. An essay I came across recently about this, if anyone is interested
  14. I used to think that I got crushes, before I eventually realized that they were actually squishes. It was useful to have a word that described what I was feeling, and knowing that other people felt the same thing and understood it enough to give it a name helped me feel more secure in my identity as aromantic. And I actually started (re)questioning my romantic orientation because I realized I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was a crush or a squish. Lastly, (and I realize this is very nebulous and subjective), I’m sort of just...glad that there’s a word? If there wasn’t a word, I’d probably want there to be one to describe this specific experience? From what I’ve learned from my friends, before the word “crush” existed, people were probably compelled to come up with a word for it; I think there’s a similar thing with squish.
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