Mark

Member
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About Mark

  • Rank
    Dragon
  • Birthday October 17

Personal Information

  • Name
    Mark
  • Gender
    Gender Queer (AMAB)
  • Pronouns
    They, Mx
  • Location
    United Kingdom
  • Occupation
    IT
  • Romanticism
    aromantic: couple and romance repulsed.
  • Sexuality
    pansexual, kinky, Relationship Anarchist

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  1. Something you may have missed is that those "benefits" are paid for by unmarried people.
  2. If you do not share the same goal as your peers then it would probably be a bad idea to do the same kind of things as them. Even though it might be difficult to explain this to them. This sounds like the "friends first" idea some allos have. With the idea of that friendship being a stepping stone to a romantic relationship. What I think is going on here is different definitions of the term "best friend".
  3. Sometimes in the printed context too. Most obviously scanned documents originally printed in fonts which are difficult for OCR. Without a fair amount of NLP software won't be able to recognise that "It was aromantic evening." should be "It was a romantic evening." Even in modern documents missing spaces are a common form of typo...
  4. Having no idea what they actually mean by "like". Because depending on if they actually mean "want to kiss", "want to have sex with", "think looks good", "want to hang with", "want to be like", "want to debate with", "want to go on a 'hot date' with", etc. the answer is likely to vary a lot. Though if they are allo they usually mean something boring like "marry" and assume that everyone must be into that. Or that they will "dump" you if they find a boyfriend/girlfriend. Yes. Even to the point of denying your existence. Since "pairing up" is "natural". Most definitely. Whilst being a single individual facing a well oiled amantonormativity prropaganda machine. Where these are closely linked. Unlinking them, especially sex without romance, being rather taboo.The common assumption that if one is aro one must also be ace (as well as haphephobic, philemaphobic and uninterested in a lot of things that have nothing to do with either romance or sex.)
  5. Don't listen to the lyrics too closely or try to use some creative interpretation (including parody). With a fair proportion of songs about "love" there's little or nothing in the lyrics to indicate that this is romantic rather than sexual love. e.g. "Gimme Gimme" by Abba, "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston, Touch Me by Cathy Dennis, Naked in the Rain by Blue Pearl and Rooms On Fire by Stevie Nicks could be describing a passionate ONS.
  6. I can't relate to this at all. Possibly because I'm not especially introverted. From my PoV society already has far too many barriers to involvement and engagement. (Saying "no" to an unwanted offer is always an option. But how do you say "yes" to something which is never offered?) I've never really understood the "best friend" concept. I find it hard to think of an example where I would ever seek a singular person to do anything with. Effectively "one is minimum", whereas it often seems more common and socially acceptable to have a "one is maximum" outlook.
  7. I more see it as desiring romantic coded things and activities rather than romance. My feelings towards 'relationships', 'dating' etc have always tended to be "Yes, but not like that". (Whereas the more common aro reaction appears to be "hell no!"). Something I really hate is the whole bundling/package aspect to normative relationships. My experience of trying to use dating sites is that even if I can get through the typical gender (very few even have non binary options) and monosexual obstacles there's little in the "what are you looking for" options which actually fits me. With both of these being a spectrum rather than a binary. With it typically being assumed than these are the same and must be at one extreme or the other.
  8. This is at least as much the case with "romantic" being interpreted as "hyper romantic". A difference is that, in many societies, the concept of "too romantic" does not exist,. (Where as "too sexual" tends to be widely understood and accepted. Even by allosexuals.)
  9. Even if I notice the flirting how can I possibly work out if they just want romance or might be open to anything more meaningful?
  10. The poll seems to be just about gender and age. I get feelings about being unsure if I belong, either here or Aromantic Talk. They tend to be about things like aro aces being the majority of posters. Along with: Strongly worded posts about disliking kissing and touch. Overloading/overuse of the term "platonic". Anti-relationship memes, including loving food more than people. I'm Gender Queer, so it's not that likely that I'll encounter anyone the same gender as me. Also my views on the daftness of gender roles have been known to offend quite a few feminists Nothing much I can do about having been born in 1968 thus never been able to understand that I've always been aromantic. until very recently.
  11. This might also be the case for allo couples. Even between two aro people... Given that many aros do like romantic coded behaviours it seems reasonable that there might be allos who don't like (certain) romantic coded things.
  12. Whilst being expected to justify NOT doing something, whilst no justification is required to do it, is completely anti-logical it dosn't only happen with child free. This does seem a sensible explanation. One which can also be applied to other cases where not doing what is normative encounters such attitudes. Even when, by any objective measure, it would be doing the thing which is "selfish",
  13. Makes prefect sense if you are selling jewelry. Especially if you can persuade every potential customer to buy.
  14. What I wanted was never that conventional. I just didn't realise exactly how "radical" it was when I was younger. Never worked for me either. Very frustrating, since until I found out about the concept of romantic orientation, it made little sense. IME many seem actively against the whole concept. My experience is that nobody is interested in doing any kind of "dating" with me. Even though I'm actually very much OK with the activity. More along the lines of being an end in itself rather than a means towards amantonormativity. Effectively I want to subvert it into actually trying to get to know someone or something to do with friend(s). An obvious complication is that my feelings towards the whole asking/being asked are very much "girl" whilst I typically get seen as "boy"...
  15. I view the whole couple thing as a kind of negative social interaction. I'm lonely because I'm missing interaction with my group/tribe/network. I wonder, at times, if some allos would benefit from a less singular form of relationship structure. How did you put up with the couple stuff long enough to actually get married? I certainly could never have done that.