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About Mark

  • Rank
  • Birthday October 17

Personal Information

  • Name
  • Gender
    Gender Queer
  • Pronouns
    They, Mx
  • Location
    United Kingdom
  • Occupation
  • Romanticism
    aromantic: couple and romance repulsed.
  • Sexuality
    pansexual, kinky, Relationship Anarchist

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  1. Mark

    Early signs that you were aro

    I never got why it was so important to pick one or the other. Rather than forming a vee or rejecting both.
  2. Mark

    Aro/Queer Family Members?

    When and where would this have been? In many Western cultures marriage appears to have hit a "peak" around the mid 20th century. Even then "most" would mean between 70-80%.
  3. Mark

    Another Aromantic Test

    Adding the word 'yet' makes this a complex question. All of the answers are also complex. With an implied question along the lines of "Would you want to have one?" My actual answer: "Yes, never want to do something like that ever again. Sex-only, friends with benefits (including actual friendship) or something else intimate without romance (or monogamy) sounds good." Sort of a hybrid 1a & 5b My actual answer: "I think it's fun and hot to do, not so much to watch. Whilst feeling envious than I don't have people I can kiss." Sort of 4a definitely not 4b 1b and 5a nowhere near often enough. 2 is about the best answer for me. 4b (don't have a clue how to) really wish I could do 5. Unlikely to say 1,4 or 5. 3 & 5, 2 indirectly. 3 & 5a 2 so long as the state stops privileging marrieds. My actual answer is "I want something differently from (just) being in a couple. Seems virtually everyone else seems to think along the lines of a 'single' or 'couple' (false) dichotomy. Finding people who even understand that is hard." My actual is "That sounds good good, were there anyone who'd be interested in me that way. My experience is I'm either ;seen purely platonically or with an exepecation of my being interested in amantonormativity". Kind of maybe 2, without the lack of commitment aspect. 3
  4. IIRC countering this mis-assumption was a major reason for AVEN coming into being. If anything it's a bigger problem that aro tends be assumed as implying also ace.
  5. Mark

    Aromantic Moments

    The idea that you'd 'let' a romantic partner do anything sounds quite awful. Why would anyone want to be in such a dysfunctional relationship?
  6. Mark

    Another Aromantic Test

    I found much the same. By picking the 'least bad' options I ended up with a rather strange result. I found something similar. Wonder if there was some conflation of romance and interested in romantic coded activities.
  7. I more associate it with a film featuring a talking pig.
  8. I suspect that non romantic attractions are often confused with 'crushes' even by allos. There's the normative meme that any strong attraction is a 'crush'. Though the idea of any strong attraction being a 'squish' isn't any better The term 'lush' is sometimes used for a strong purely sexual attraction. I suspect, in practice, most strong attractions are of a 'hybrid' nature.
  9. Mark

    Romantic Attraction

    The former seems to explain what I've previously described as "bundling" when it comes to romantic relationships. Including less obvious 'intimacies' such as co-habitation, entangling personal finances, identity merger. The latter seems a good explanation for hierarchy. Be it between partner(s) and friends or primary/secondary/tertiary 'partners'. This sounds like a good description of 'relationship anarchy'. There definitely are alloromantic relationship anarchists. Though possibly not including the 'strongly romantic'.
  10. Mark

    My latest aro crush

    I find this term to be oxymoronic. Given that 'platonic' and 'sexual' are mutually exclusive...
  11. Mark

    What would you say to your younger self?

    In which case the most important question would be "Red, white or rosé?" followed by "Sparkling?" in some cases.
  12. Mark

    The Aro <-> Romantic Q&A Thread

    This kind of conflates romantic and sexual attraction. In many societies there is no notion of "too young" when it comes to romantic attraction, whereas there is when it comes to sexual. If anything romantic behaviour can be encouraged amongst children. I suspect that many people do have some understanding of their romantic and sexual orientations before they are 10. Though may lack the vocabulary to express it.
  13. Though some of the links you get might be describing aro people. I think this is a big problem. IMHO Death Note is more an expression of the maxim "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely". Even though Light starts out intending to kill only criminals he's soon murdering law enforcement. Even withing many LGBT/queer communities there is still the assumption of periorientation. Sounds like exactly the same (mis)assumption that everyone is perioriented. Even though at least 11% of people are varioriented. In truth the "ace community", at least as represented by AVEN, is more the "allo ace community". Even aro aces may not fit in with it that well. It's kind of ironic since these are some of the few people with a good understanding of variorientation. It can also feel that the "aro community" is quite aro ace dominated. You can also experience that from LGBT communities too. Especially celebrating 'marriage equality'. In many societies romantic relationships (or at least wanting them) is an expectation. If they are sexual or not may not matter that much. Since sex tends only to happen in private. (It's also possible for someone to treat having sex as a romantic coded activity.) Thus allo aces may not stand out from allo allos that much. In comparison aros, of any sexual orientation, can find it a lot more difficult to blend into an amantonormative society. IME alloromantics can be especially judgemental about things like sexual friendships or doing romantic coded things with friends. The former often seems to show up with how aros vs allos interpret the phrase "friends with benefits". The latter also likely to affect aro aces. Even without the judgement they appear very confused.
  14. The notion that relationships can be of differing sorts/types is quite radical in and of itself. I've never understood why so many people so enthusiastically quest for "the one". Especially those who have very good social skills.