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About Mark

  • Rank
  • Birthday October 17

Personal Information

  • Name
  • Gender
    Gender Queer
  • Pronouns
    They, Mx
  • Location
    United Kingdom
  • Occupation
  • Romanticism
    aromantic: couple and romance repulsed.
  • Sexuality
    pansexual, kinky, Relationship Anarchist

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  1. Mark

    Aromantic Moments

    I've had a somilar experienced, which felt very erasing. I felt they didn't understand the experience of not being able to take part in couples/romantic culture being socially excluding.
  2. I would say please do NOT do this. Conflation of aros and aces is something which is a serious problem. A much better idea would be two books. One about aros and one about aces. This survey might be helpful. If genuinely want attract the contributions of aro allos then having an email address and website which is about "Ace awareness" seems to be exactly the wrong way to go about this. I can't see any mention that aro allos even exist on the website. Indeed the implication is that everyone involved in this project is ace. IME aro allo experience can be very different from those of aro aces or allo aces.
  3. Actually that isn't "obvious" at all. Since the Book of Samuel was written before Plato was born Whatever definition of "romantic" or "platonic" used this is going to involve a false dichotomy. To me it makes little sense to see romance in any classical writing. People in these cultures just didn't think that way.
  4. There are at least eight classical Greek words which are translated as "love" in English. None of them clearly equate to "romantic love". This kind of many to one situation also exists with Latin, Arabic and, probably, Aramaic. So a classical text which appears to be "romantic" might be describing something else.
  5. Mark

    Not a frigid spinster?!

    Whilst that's a common belief it's simply not the case. Though so strong is that belief that it's common for history (and prehistory) to be retconned Romantic love first appeared around the time of The Renaissance. Even the association of romance with marriage only started around 160 years ago. The social structures of stone age people is entirely down to speculation. Since there are no written records. Though modern hunter gather societies tend to operate in fairly small tribal groups. Rather than any kind of couples. The so called "nuclear family" being a recent family concept. There are two obvious problems with this reasoning. 1) Both monogamous and polygamous marriage traditions exist in the modern world. 2) People have extra marital sex fairly often. Regardless of the type of marriage their society sanctions.
  6. Well cupioromantics desire romantic relationships. It's also possible that some aros may tolerate romance so as to be able to do romantic coded things.
  7. Mark

    Not a frigid spinster?!

    II suspect that there are very different things at work here. There have been various attempts to find a "gay gene". Mostly completely ignoring that bisexuals and asexuals exist, Also potentially assuming that totally straight is baseline for humans. The most obvious difference is that whilst "sexual orientation" has always been a part of humanity the notion of "romance", let alone "romantic orientation" is very recent. With the idea that it would be a requirement for a sexual relationship being even more recent. TBH romance makes a lot more sense as a social meme akin to fashion.
  8. I think also failing to understand that romance repulsion does not imply being repulsed by romantic coded activities.
  9. I managed to find exactly one aro group on meetup. With a handful on ace meetups, which mention aros. The few surveys which have been done show that aros are not rare at all. Comprising at least 1% of the population. This would be amantonormativity. Interestingly this idea dosn't even hold for alloromantics. Census data shows the proportion of married people declining throughout the industrialised world. If anything popular culture had got more matrimanical over those decades. This is even the case in the UK and Australia where married adults are in the minority.
  10. This can also equate as an interest in non-romantic, non traditional, queer, etc relationships. I've also encountered this on aro forms. As well as "... don't kissing"; "... don't like affection", "... don't like affection", etc. I also often find it it difficult to identify with many aro representations. Since I'd like to be able to do many romantic coded things. Whilst having zero interest in terms of being "in a relationship".
  11. Mark

    What is your definition of a QPR/squish?

    I'm kind of the opposite since I find all of these romantic (like) and repulsive. I see these as frustratingly romantically coded. When I'd really like to be able to do them a lot more without those barriers.
  12. Human attraction is often complex and multi-faceted. It can be common in mainstream society to call any intense attraction a "crush", even though it might be primarily aesthetic, sexual, etc. Similarly in aro circles you can get an "everthing's a squish" belief. I have encountered the term "lush" to describe a primarily sexual attraction, though there appears to be no equivalent term for primarily aesthetic attraction. It sounds like you want company and companionship. In ways which are non romantic, even if romantic coded activities are involved. Do you want to? If 'yes' in what kind of situation or context. Have you told your father the last bit? I really struggle with initiation of touch. Basically I'm terrified that it will be misinterpreted or unwelcome. So often only comfortable if I'm the person being approached or asked.
  13. Mark

    Early signs that you were aro

    For me almost the exact opposite. Like cuddling, find the whole co-sleeping idea a complete WTF.
  14. It's good to have an actual aro article. Rather than it being mentioned in passing or as a footnote in an ace article. I wonder if at least part of the reason for this blurriness is conflation of romance and romantic coded activities.
  15. Mark

    Early signs that you were aro

    I've never understood why allos can be so obsessive about wanting to do this.