Jump to content


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


About Mark

  • Rank
  • Birthday October 17

Personal Information

  • Name
  • Gender
    Gender Queer
  • Pronouns
    They, Mx
  • Location
    United Kingdom
  • Occupation
  • Romanticism
    aromantic: couple and romance repulsed.
  • Sexuality
    pansexual, kinky, Relationship Anarchist

Contact Methods

Recent Profile Visitors

2,061 profile views
  1. My reaction to PDA tends to be one of envy. Something which can make me feel nauseous is a Public Display of Congratulations towards people getting into couples.
  2. To me it sounds more like a romantic relationship without much in the way of romantic coded behaviours. Maybe "queer romantic" or a modern take of "courtly love". What i don't like about the terms is the implication of hierarchy and exclusivity. Even without romance the couple dynamic is something I wouldn't want to be a part of.
  3. Aromantics at community college

    There's some research which came up with a figure of 1.5% which would give you around 60 people. Problem is likely to be a lack of awareness, including self awareness, about this. Especially in relation to heterosexual aros, whom are likely to be the majority of the aro population. I suspect a lot of aros are closeted. Believing the likes of "I'll change", "I suck at relationships", "I'm not ready yet", "I've not met the one" or similar amantonormative propaganda. I've not encountered 4%, would be higher than many recognised (including legally protected) minority groups. I suspect the proportion of "out aros" might be closer to one per ten thousand. Not all LGBT groups are inclusive in more general sense. There's also the issue of how accepting would such groups be of aros. Some can be highly arophobic, especially towards heterosexual aros.
  4. Is it worst after 30 yo?

    I would say that currently things can be very much harder for older aros. There;s no way I could possibly have come out as aro before I was 40, due to the word simply not existing. Having had the term (and The Internet) when I was a teenager could have helped me hugely. It's also impossible to predict the future. Something which could be good for, younger, aros is that there appears to be a long term shift throughout the industrialised world away from the married couple "nuclear family" lifestyle. Most obvious is the so called "Japanese Marriage Crisis" but you can also see this con census returns from Western Europe, North America and The Australasian subcontinent.
  5. You might be aro if...

    Or to consider the myriad of often ignored non romantic relationship possibilities.and/or romance without slavishly following the "relationship escalator".
  6. Romantic Attraction

    Interestingly the Wikipedia article on eros describes it as 'passionate' or 'romantic' rather than 'sexual'. Which is almost heading in the direction of a circular definition. There's also mention of 'mania' which is a separate Classical Greek type of love. Even though romance appears to have co-opted a lot of erotic language and iconography I don't think that eros is that big a part of it. Since the kind of romantic relationships alloromantic asexuals seek are very similar to those of alloromantic allosexuals. This is also something which would only have involved a minority of people. There's even terms like 'courtship' and 'courting'. Even parts of modern romantic love which do date back that far may have been highly 'mutated' from their original form. The idea of romance being for everyone does appear to be relatively recent, from around Victorian times. There's also the way in which a great many social activities have become exclusive to romantic relationships. There is also a strong element of tradition. Even where these are actually recent Which in more diverse (and less normative) cultures might be little or no issue. Since much of Western culture is set up with the assumption of romance and couples. Kind of the way that Saudi Arabia is set up for Wahhabists. There seems huge opposition, on the part of alloromantics, to even the idea of doing these and other romantic coded things, outside of a romantic relationship. It tends to be easier for varioriented people to separate 'sexual' and 'romantic', than it is for perioriented. people.
  7. I'm not a big fan of the liberal use of the term "platonic love". This, rather old, article covers some of the issues with the term.
  8. Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week Facebook event link.
  9. That sort of thing dosn't work for me These are the kind of relationships I've always wanted. But I find virtually everyone treats me in a purely platonic way (May also be the reason why I'm no fan of the term "platonic" being used so liberally on aro forums.) Similarly with ONS, I've never been asked. All the "cuddle buddy" type sites I've found don't allow non binary people to even join.
  10. As well as calling a purely sexual relationship/series of hookups a "Friends With Benefits" whilst deliberately trying to avoid actually being friends. There's also those who seem unable to be single. They'd rather be in a poor (even abusive) relationship. The reception bit as a big party sort of makes sense. But the rest of it.... Even where it adds little to characters or plot. When they have no control over these characters. Not like they are LARP or tabletop RPG characters. Not sure you could call it a "one on one meet up to see if you might be interested in kissing, sex, Shibari, etc with me later" though
  11. BDSM Relationships

    I've found that my local scene can be very couple centric. To the point that many events are very much "couplefests".
  12. Aromantic Moments

    I'd tend to see such games as being a fairly safe space to challenge normative assumptions.
  13. Role playing game

    Most systems are fairly good at combat, unsurprising given that this kind of gaming evolved from tabletop war gaming. That being said you can certainly use D&D5E or its rival Pathfinder you can create characters who's best skills are bluff, diplomacy, disguise, intimidate , stealth, etc. There's also the concept of non lethal damage. Spells such as "hold person" are not going to kill anyone either.
  14. Role playing game

    Probably far too much Basic D&D rulebook is http://media.wizards.com/2016/downloads/DND/PlayerBasicRulesV03.pdf There are quite a few preprepared games available online. Such as http://www.wizards.com/dnd/files/Khybers_Harvest.zip There's an online character creator page at http://www.orcpub.com/
  15. Aromanticism and depression

    The obvious problem with 'I'm just not ready' is that aros will never be ready for a romantic relationship. Could 'Why is it so hard to just be friends?' mean something like they desire sexual friendships, sensual friendships, queer platonic friendships or something other than purely platonic friendships?