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Illus

Member
  • Content Count

    4
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

About Illus

  • Rank
    Newbie

Personal Information

  • Gender
    Cis-Male
  • Pronouns
    He/Him/His
  • Occupation
    Student
  • Romanticism
    Aromantic?
  • Sexuality
    Hetero

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  1. For context, I've recently started identifying as aro but still feel all of the other forms of attraction. For those in a similar position, how do you talk to people about being more than friends but also not a romantic relationship? I've been bumbling around asking people out on 'dates' and having to clarify ahead of time that I don't want it to go anywhere because 'date' is super romance coded, so it'd be great to know if anyone has a better solution to this problem.
  2. Thank you both! I guess I'm currently aro then and we'll see if that changes in future.
  3. Hi everyone, new user here but I'm slow to change so I've poked around a fair bit before signing up. The main question I have is "How were any of you ever sure with your identity?". I'm only here because I found a list of the types of attraction that can be felt (it included sexual, romantic, sensual, emotional, and aesthetic - are there any others?). I know for sure I've felt everything on that list with the exception of romantic, but I'm struggling to determine where the line is between aromantic and merely afraid of commitment. My situation also means that I pass really easily - I've been in a couple reasonably serious relationships before, and the common factor in the break ups is my inability to see things working out for a longer term future. I think maybe something more is going on because of my answers to several of the 'You Might Be Aromantic If..." questions. I don't really get what most people get out of kissing, for example, and my ideal relationship looks like some kind of relationship anarchy/QPR with benefits mess. I scored something like 30/50 on Anagnori's list (https://anagnori.tumblr.com/post/69145328274/you-might-be-aromantic-if, I've seen it mentioned in a couple threads). Any advice on how I might be able to know for sure appreciated.
  4. YMBAI you tried to use some arbitrary rule to determine whether or not you loved someone. When I was in relationships I tried "Am I more concerned for this person's welfare than my parents's?" and "Is there something about this person in particular that I can't get from my other friends/family support network?". The former has obvious issues, and I'm not sure how the latter works because it never happened to me.
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