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About yeshomonoromo

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    i don't even know anymore

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  1. I am a pre-HRT trans female, and there are chances I may be never-HRT, only plastic. Growing up male meant that I learned that girls are a "consumer product", and every piece of girl's attention and love must be earned. Some guys even told me how cool it is that I get to use the girl's bathroom and look at girls. I used to be an "incel" and a "soft boy" before coming out as trans. I used to measure people based on "Chad and Stacy" metrics and how girls only want massive abusive right-wing men while 90% of men are just left with meh. I had my first relationship at 14, first actual date at 15, and first kiss at 16, now in the LGBT+ community, but still with a girl. I really wanted to prove that feminine boys can get girls too and that the "incel-chad" thing is wrong. It is really depressing that viewing girls as a consumer product instead of actual people is considered socially acceptable and the norm. I hate this toxic dating and friendship culture and how it claims that "soul is more important than the body" and shits on allo aros, yet consistenly uplifts "chads and stacies" who are borderline socially darwinist in how they chose whom to date. I am a sexual person by nature, but this whole sexual competition thing seems like bullshit to me. As of lately, the only women whom I really seem to see as people aren't filled with this "stacy hot" culture are scientific women and some of my friends. Yes, not all women are teasers and show themselves as products to test masculinity. But those who do, seem to set rules in society which is depressing. Modern-day feminism, or vaginism for the most part, only contributes to this problem. Feminists show themselves as "forbidden bodies" instead of "women are people". This triggers primitive male competition and only makes men view women as some distant objects instead of human beings. There are only 2-3 feminists I know who aren't like this. I regularly talk to them because they support the fact that I was assigned male at birth. Everyone else seems like a TERF, which is why I said vaginism. People only care about trans women when they break gender roles. I am actually one of those bi/pan/omnisexuals who wants to fuck everyone (who gives consent of course) and wants to have orgies and threesomes and all the way. I find a lot of my friends to be sexually attractive which triggers a male "alpha chad" response, and dysphoria. I am exactly the person the media warns everyone about, except I respect consent. Now, this doesn't mean I am transitioning just to peep at girls, I am transitioning because I am a woman who was assigned male at birth. I just happen to be a very sexual person. But this whole setup that women are a consumer product and a "safe sex to be" is infuriating. There is no representation in any LGBT+ page for the person like me.
  2. Well, the weird/shy/loner people also think that they are superior on the basis that everyone wants sex and they don't. At least this is how to every person I know of. "In a world of Kardashians, be a Curie". Lol why not just be myself?
  3. @DeltaV @eatingcroutons @Holmbo ouch, sorry. I guess not everyone understands these terms. Here is a more clear description, I hope it gets next time. Can being sexually attractive cancel out having a weird personality? Especially when that is my identity.
  4. One thing I noticed, is that most people who are sensitive, shy, weird, smart, nerdy, metal lovers, introverts, or autistic, are usually asexual and very "profound and deep". For some reason, while I am neurodiversually distant, and gifted, I happen to be a "Stacy" in my talks sometimes, which to me kinda cancels out the whole point of being weird. During times where I don't want much sex, I act like a person who has difficulties socializing. But when I start my sexy talk, it goes like "Heyy wanna see my super gifted brain". It seems like as if having a sexual advantage nullifies being a person with no friends and no appreciation as a human. On the flip side of this, I get a lot of "smartness fetishists" who seem to treat me like a calculator sex toy. I don't blame them, because they usually don't see it. But I see. I am super good at calculating people and what is about to happen, so I get annoyed at society easily and become an outcast because it is too boring.
  5. Exactly. A lot of the self-proclaimed "intersectional feminists" sound like TERFs, but only towards trans females. They love trans boys and how they wear binders and how they are masc as hell and so smol. The radfems haven't directly called me a sexual abuser, I just feel about myself that way because childhood guardians called me a bad person a lot. But people treat sexual harassment and rape with such caution I naturally started getting afraid of who will I become. Based on how nicely and with cake they treat AFAB people and romantic asexuals, I figured out that there is no place for opposites in their community.
  6. Oh don't even say. This is partially how I got sucked into alt-right conservatism. Since I am transfeminine, and "sex machine" as I said on myself, the left and the feminists don't really like me. So I decided to band with the right because even though the right hates me also, hating left together would be more powerful. Eventually I gave up on politics.
  7. I have this internalized arophobia probably, but anyway. Society values sex as something more forbidden than romance. So an aromantic allosexual person will dismiss the romantic part of other people, and cut straight to sex. To many other people, this seems like being a privileged sex machine, or being a hottie. As if aro-allos get everything sexy handed to them on a plate. Asexual people constantly talk about how sex is overrepresented, so therefore aromantic allosexuals feast on all this representation?
  8. In LGBT++ community, being asexual is seen as kinda a virtue. There is this treatment of asexual people as if they are constantly having sex shoved down their throats by this sexnormative world, and that asexual people are precious little beans that can never sexually harass anyone, only get harassed by others. With all the talks about "consent" and "harassment", it is easy for asexuals to take the "innocent" stand. Also feminists hate femininity, or despise it. They perceive feminine women as "confoming to patriarchy", and therefore as a trans woman, I conform to patriarchy simply by existing. Not only that, there is also a view by like, 100% of people that trans women just want to gain access to being women instead of actually being women. Like "man dressed up following into women's bathroom". So I am basically a creep just by existing, in intersectionality's terms. Also I experienced childhood sexual abuse, and also got told that I am "bad", "dangerous", "retarded", etc. This is due to neurodivergence, since I couldn't conform to society's rules. Combine the two, and I perceive myself as a sexual abuser. Since bullying by different people was common in my childhood, including victims themselves, I have it internalized that since I was sexually abused, there is also a high probability that I am a sexual abuser myself, when I respect consent and know that this is not true. But I need some kind of label, or a card so I can feel like a normal person instead of a creep. Being asexual gives exactly this, while being a transfeminine aromantic allosexual makes it worse.
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