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Anything_but_allo

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Everything posted by Anything_but_allo

  1. @DavidMS703 great answers! And aw, well it’s always better to have a few friends that truly accept you opposed to a lot of friends that think your weird. I hope you continue to do better, this society can be super tough on us but I’m rooting for you 💚 @NotHeartless ahh I agree baby turtles are so cute! Btw everyone sorry for not posting the days! I’ve been busy lately and forgot, but I’ll recap later today sorry about that
  2. Oh thank you! And I see, well huh that’s interesting. And I did hear about that, maybe it’s a tactic to get more people to marry again? XD that’s also interesting, and it’s funny how that’s mentioned because in my own life I’ve noticed that woman can actually seem averted by acts or romance from men, which I always thought that stereotype was a bit strange. But thanks again for posting this information
  3. @NotHeartless ah thank you so much! *hug* 💚 and that’s a really good choice, pasta bake is amazing as for my favorite food, I would have to say curry. I just love curry of all kinds, yellow, green, Japanese etc. it’s so aromatic (lol) and it tastes unlike anything I’ve ever really had before. Thank you for responding
  4. @DavidMS703 ah yes same here! Blue is just so soothing. And yea, my appreciation for green has become a lot strong we after discovering my aromanticism @Zorcodtoa It’s ok I understand, sorry I know that question can get annoying XD and oh cool I’ve never had that before! Sounds delicous though
  5. Hey everyone! So this just popped into my mind recently, but I thought it would be fun if we could do kinda like a “12 days of Christmas” deal, but instead of Christmas, it’s valentines day! I thought for the next 12 days, aros can write down and express platonic/aesthetic attraction and love towards something. I’m gonna write down some of the ideas I had for what you can do for each day until feb 14, and I was hoping some of you could participate! So here’s the list: Day 1: what color/colors do you love most and why? Day 2: what is your favorite food and why? Day 3: what is your favorite animal/animals and why? Day 4: what do you love most about your friend/friends and why? Day 5: what type of chocolate/candy do you love most and why? Day 6: why do you love being with your friends/family? Day 7: what band/musician/genre of music do you love and why? Day 8: what tv show/anime do you love most and why? Day 9: what movie do you love most and why? Day 10: what do you love most about your family? Day 11: what aesthetic do you love and why? Day 12: why do you love your family and friends, what are some of your favorite memories or activities you did with them that you love and cherish? For my favorite color, I just really adore the colors blue and grey. Something about blue is just so beautiful in my eyes and every time I look at the color (especially a cyan blue) I’ll become quite happy. Grey to me is such a calming color, I’m really drawn to grey colored bedrooms and couches and things of sorts you sint ahve ti do this challenge if you don’t want, but I thought it would be a fun way to express our non romantic love and appreciation for certain things, and why it’s just as important I think this will be fun! Thank you for reading this 💚
  6. Ahh thank you for posting this! I don’t think I’ll be able to be apart of this but I’ll definitely look into the blog! It’s awesome that the attention to the Aro Community seems to be slowly coming to light
  7. @Mark oh yes I did see this! It’s weird how in reality there are actually way more happy singles than the stereotypes “desperate” people. But I do have a question, do you know the age groups of those people that were uninterested compared to those that were desperate? I think it would be interesting to see if the desperate singles were younger? Due to media being made for younger (teens-young adults) tends to be the stuff that’s flooded with romance. Sorry if this sounds dumb, but I would be curious. Thanks again for this information
  8. @Mark yea you’re right, like Alterous attraction and friends with benefits like you mentioned. Sorry, I forgot to mention those in my original post
  9. @Apathetic Echidna thank you, I think he does like me and cares about me, he jsut isn’t the type to really openly express that. And oh no I’m so sorry! That’s soudns awful I’m sorry you had to go through that I hope you’re doing better now 💚 thank you so much for the support, I’m really hoping I can learn more about myself and discover the world more 💚
  10. Wow, you perfectly summed it up. These relationships are often marketed to be to be this amazing “cure” for loneliness. And exactly, they blame it on, “oh, they’re probably jsut not the right person, you just have to keep looking!” Then howcome people have gone through multiple, and I mean multiple partners and eventually marry and end in divorce? This doesn’t always happen but pretty darn often it does. Wouldn’t those people just be happier if they created a stronger bond, platonic bond with someone else? Or staying solo? And wow, “heresy” that’s a perfect way to put it. Thanks for replying again
  11. @Mark exactly, I think that’s actually why many aros that don’t know what the term is feel lonely in life and feel the need for romantic relationships, when in reality they would prefer something else. And thank you for mentioning the issues that those desiring sexual or sensual relationships face. Often times those people are put down and can be deemed “whores” or losers. Although it’s true that sex and things like that are marketed and are often times put out in our faces, people that desire more sexual relationships to romantic ones are often put down due to amantonormativity.
  12. Yea, I think you may have hit the nail on the head. Luckily my guy friend I’ve been talking about isn’t focused on that right now, but I fear he will be in the future and if I ask to be in a qpr or anything like that with him he may dismiss it as weird and tell me no, or if he ends up having a child and if I ask to help co parent he may think I am extremely strange and tell me no. And I’m really sorry your friend dropped you like that, I hope you’re able to still form a good relationship with your other friends :( and yea, that’s another thing I really need to work on. Becoming more social with my friends, I’m just very introverted. Ah yea, I’ve heard of a lot of kids doing that, moving out but moving back in. That could be a possible option one day if I feel the need for it. And it’s jdut so weird, cause like I really would love to live by myself and have a home to myself, yet when thinking about the reality of that makes me afraid, I believe I share the same fear you have. And that’s awesome! Doing something like that in the future would be absolutely amazing, I think I wouldn’t feel alone at all if that were to happen. Thank you so much for sharing, I hope all goes well for all of you! 💚
  13. Thank you for your help and understanding 💚 and yea, I think that’s kinda where I struggle the most. I seem to have a difficult time forming those relationships with my friends, it sometimes seems like it can’t be done or like they just aren’t interested enough in trying. That’s why I often stay close to a lot of people online, they often are close to me, it’s just real life friends seem to be the ones where it’s difficult to form those relationship. But I do know that it can happen and work, it will just take time. And yea, actually one of my male friends I was hoping I could live with him one day in a non romance coded qpr kinda thing, but I honestly don’t know if he would be down for that. And yea, I do realize living with your parents is perfectly fine, and I was actually thinking that the best thing to do would to move out with a friend our cousin first. Thanks again for your support 💚 Thank you for all your help. And yea, I’m really trying to search and hold onto those that understand me, and accept me and let me open up to them. It’s not easy, it hasn’t been easy. Like I mentioned above about one of my guy friends and me wanting to possibly be in a qpr (well, platonic relationship) with him, is because I found him to be relatable and once I actually opened up to him about a really personal issue, and he said “it’s ok, I know what you’re going through, you can talk to me about stuff whenever” and I told him I loved him, but he didn’t say anything back and he just smiled and nodded. Which is why I felt hurt, because I felt like although he may care, he doesn’t really have the same sense of love. But I think I’ll eventhally find those people, or form that bond with my friends overtime. And yea, I do know allo people seek the same thing. Found family is definitely something that appeals to me too, it’s just that I want to find them and I haven’t quite yet. Thank you again for the support, it means a lot 💚
  14. Hey everyone, I’m doing another one of these vent type things, it’s slightly off topic but I do think it does relate to possibly my aromanticism. So to start off, I’m honestly very thankful that I have such an awesome family, I really am. They’ve always supported me, loved me no matter what, and they always have my back. But the bad thing is: I rely on them to much. I often feel like my family and parents are the only ones that truly care about me, I feel like they’re the only ones in the world that care sometimes. I love my friends to pieces, but that’s the thing: they often times don’t love me the same way. Yes, they do love and care about me, and they enjoy talking to me and some genuinely miss me when I’m gone, but I often feel like they don’t really care as much and they don’t have the same emotional connection like I have with my family. Which is why it can be dangerous sometimes, I become very clingy to certain people in my family, usually my dad, mom, or brothers, and I rely on them for emotional support and to be compeltely honest I socialize with them the most, because they are often the ones that I feel really get me. The main issue here is when it comes to my future, moving out, starting my own life etc. I really want to become independent and move out on my own, yet I have this deep, sharp pain in my heart at the thought of not really being around my parents anymore. Of course I know I’ll still be able to visit them, hang out with them, call them and many more. I’ve kinda made my family members my best friends and while that’s a great thing, it can also greatly effect your life and hold you back from going out into the real world and meeting new people. And I’m sure many of you are worried that I may have fake friends or bad friends, but I really don’t. They’re all very supportive of me, and we joke around a lot and have pleasant conversations, I jsut feel as if I could not rely on them as much and that without my family in my life I would feel so unbearably lost. Does this have to do with my aromanticism and feta of being lonely, possibly? Is this because my aromanticism isn’t really acknowledged in the real world and my family seems to be the only ones that support me? I want some advice on how I can deal with this, and how I can better myself in the future. Thank you all so much for your support and help, I’m thankful for each and every one of you. Have a wonderful day 💚
  15. Whoa, 16 million. I don’t think there are 16 million asexuals but if that were to really be true then the amount of aros we have could even be up in the 10 millions. Also, very true point. I think there are a lot of aros that may be unaware of the fact that they are aro and do not feel romantic attraction, despite looking for a romantic partner
  16. @Apathetic Echidna thank you so much, you really are too 💚 and I don’t think you could ever love yourself too deeply, unless you coneptlelt cut other people out of your lives, which I know you don’t do at all! And wow, that was beautifully put. The metaphor for your mind and body. I often have to learn how to trust in myself, my future, and my own decisions. I think a lot of why I may not accept myself as much is due to how I feel so... alienated here? Like, I’ve gone through thoughts where I could possibly be transgender if ninbiqnry, heck, even therian, and none of those seemed right? Like, I almost feel like I belong in another world, another dimension, like I know I’m me, but I don’t belong with this society or lament earth? I’m so sorry I’m rambling on, but I’m not sure if this has to do either my aromanticism and the fact that my orientation is different, but sometimes it feels like I’m meant to be somewhere else you know? I’m sorry again I know it almost looks like I was high while writing this, but your metaphor really took me aback and I really found myself in it. Thank you so much for sharing, you’re so brave 💚
  17. @Mark agreed. Also, think of it this way, I believe there was a fairly recent study that concluded the asexual population was around 4-5%, which leads me to believe that aromantics in the US have to be somewhere around in the millions, it’s just that the term aromantic is not acknowledged, which is why it’s important that we get the term out there more and present it as a normal thing. But wow, more than half said they were uninterested? That’s quite surprising, I didn’t realize that. I think there are definitly more aros than we are lead to believe there are.
  18. @Apathetic Echidna hey friend, I’m really sorry that you deal with a body issue that effects you in life that way, but I’m glad you’ve figured out how to enjoy your life more and start to slowly accept yourself. Keep living your own life wand do what you want to do, I truly admire the fact that you do this, you stand as a role model for all of us to do this ourselves, I want to learn how to do that! Thank you for sharing, stay strong 💚
  19. @Apathetic Echidna thank you so much! And yes, I was worried that Todd May lead to people thinking he’s a weird stalker or something like that, which I don’t want to do. And that’s an interesting take on it, and I think I’ll definitly check out the aromantic bingo and yes, I won’t directly refer to them as “allos” I know that could be quite offensive and it’s not my goal to make allos seem like the bad guys. Thank you so much for your help! 💚 @Holmbo thank you so much! And yes I will definitly share when I’m done! And yea, I wanted to show Skylar having a normal life instead of her experiencing trauma and such as many people suspect aros May have been through. And good point, I was actually kinda concerned with the way I wrote Todd he came off as a toxic male, and that the point of the film would be that males are toxic, I may have to rewrite his character a bit. And I will definitly check out the bingo! Thank you all so much for helping! 💚💚💚
  20. Hey y’all (yes I just said y’all I’m sorry XD) I’m back! So this time, I just thought I should get some insight from other aros. So first things first, I’m making a short film for film class, and guess what, I’m making the main character an aromantic female! So the premise of the story is that she used to be with these two guys, todd and luka, who she is now broken up with. Luka is pretty cool about it, he becomes Skylar’s friend (that is her name) and he talks about her about the issues she has. However, I’m making Todd the antagonist, after she breaks up with him, explaining that she jsut doesn’t “feel” that for him and that she doesn’t really understand those romantic acts, he gets quite angry and tries to change her. I’m trying to make Todd a metaphor for amanatormativity, but i jsut kinda wanted some help as to how I can do this respectfully without completely offending allo people? Because that ain’t my goal, it’s just to use him as a symbol of how stupid it can be. Also, how can I make Skylar a believable and respectable aromantic character? I’m aromantic myself so I do know how to make her in many aspects, but each aro is different, so if you have any suggestions as to how to introduce her as a kind and caring character to allos, that would be awesome! Lastly, what are some ways to really spread the word on awareness week? I really want to get the word out, since it’s around Valentine’s Day. Thank you all so much! I’ve been getting a lot of support and I just want to say thank you all so much big virtual hugs and cookies! 🍪 💚
  21. @bananaslug wow, I’m really sorry you’ve gotten men that act like that and would constantly bother you, that sucks but, I also think it’s interesting that them aging that stuff to you lowered your self-esteem, I think that goes to show that since you didn’t view yourself as “hot” or like someone that would date, those people saw you as someone you were not (if I’m getting this right.) but I think this is a very important lesson for everyone, we need to have self love. I’m working on loving myself more, I really need too. I jsut recently came out as aro, and I’ve gotten so much support from other aros on Instagram and here, yet I’ve been having flip-flop emotions about my orientation still. But anyways, thank you both for sharing! I wish you the best and always love yourself 💚
  22. Hi there! I’m so glad that you’ve stopped harming yourself, that is a terrible thing to go through, I hope you continue to do well 💚 as for your friend, jsut tell her that you made a mistake, and that you don’t have a crush on her. But tell her that you love her with all your heart platonically, and that you wish to continue to be best friends. Welcome to the community! 💚💚💚
  23. @awkwardchickenpotatodragon You’re welcome! And yea don’t worry allos can struggle with it too
  24. Yea that’s true, and I do reliable that something deemed, “normal” could jsut be how society normally does something. And yes you’re right! I know that many people would do relationships differently if they weren’t told how to do so.
  25. @Apathetic Echidna man, I’m truly sympathetic for your friends. That sounds awful and that makes me sad that the amount of peer pressure put in those students forced them to get married and then divorce so quickly. It seems like this society really just can’t take a break. But anyways, thank yo uso much for sharing, and I hope things continue to go well for you in your life. Thanks 💚
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