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mirithepuppy

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About mirithepuppy

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday July 16

Personal Information

  • Name
    Miriam
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she
  • Location
    Utah
  • Romanticism
    aro/lithro
  • Sexuality
    none

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  1. usually I have the opposite problem, where I constantly have to remind my friends that I'm aro, and I come out over and over and over again to the same people. I wish my friends were a little more aware of my identity, but it sounds like your friends are hyperaware. I think a lot of times people walk on eggshells around people they don't want to offend because they don't understand them. Maybe just try to explain to them a little bit about what being aro is like, and give them some specific examples of what makes you uncomfortable and what you're fine with?
  2. @bydontost Thank you so much for clarifying some things!! I'm glad you actually know about this. I just did some brief google searches lol.
  3. So I'm always really confused about what the hell romance even is, so I decided to try to find out the history behind it. And the thing is, romantic love didn’t even exist as a concept for most of history? Ancient Greeks defined seven different types of love, none of which were romantic: eros (sexual love), philia (friendship), storge (familial love), agape (universal love aka altruism or charity), ludus (casual love, flirtation and no-strings-attached), pragma (practical love, like arranged marriages), and philautia (self-love). (x) The concept of romance was first introduced only 900 years ago (x), which is pretty recent, considering marriage had been around for about 3500 years before that. (x) Obviously, by Shakespeare’s time, romance was a widely accepted concept. However, marrying “for love” like Shakespeare shows wasn’t very common until the late eighteenth century. Before the late 1700′s, love was seen as something that happens after the marriage, not before it. But as the first romance novel was written by Samuel Richardson in 1740(x), and Jane Austen normalized romance novels from 1795 to 1817 (x), romance quickly became a prerequisite for marriage by the mid-1800s. And when romance was necessary for marriage, it was suddenly deemed necessary for life. The need for romance overpowered the needs for all other types of love as more books about romance were published, and then songs about romance, and then movies about romance. I think romance became an "essential" thing as life got easier, the same way plumbing and indoor heating are now "essential." But, the thing is, it's not actually necessary, and, in my opinion, sometimes life is a lot simpler without it. What are your thoughts about this? Do you think romantic attraction has always been around, or is it a new thing? Do you think life is simpler without romance? Is romantic attraction even a real thing, or is it just a manmade concept? Disclaimer: I am white, and I’m not a historian or anything, and I only really know Western history and the Bible and whatever some quick Google searches will tell me. A lot of this is just my personal informed opinion. Please let me know if I’ve gotten anything wrong, and add any non-Western viewpoints!! tl;dr: the concept of romance didn’t exist until 900 years ago, and after people in the mid- to late 1700s started writing about it, people thought it was necessary in order to get married, and then it was "necessary" for just life in general, and it complicated things.
  4. Jo March was, in fact, canonically aromantic. Louisa May Alcott was planning not to have her marry anyone, but, since her work came out in installments, her readers were furious with Alcott when Jo didn't marry Laurie, and they pressured Alcott into creating Professor Bhaer so Jo would be married "happily ever after." this article talks about it a little bit: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.indiewire.com/2018/05/little-women-jo-laurie-bhaer-changes-1201966711/amp/
  5. I feel this so much! I'm pretty, skinny, intelligent, and nice. And especially where I live, I'm seen as the type of "dream girl" everyone wants to date and marry. Every man who talks to me is trying to ask for my number or ask me out. I get catcalled and flirted with constantly, and I hate it. It all seems so fake and superficial. I really like experimenting with makeup, but I usually don't wear it in public in an attempt to avoid some of the attention I get. It doesn't work. I still get followed home when I'm not wearing any makeup. I still get asked out when I'm in a hoodie, makeup-less, and with greasy hair. Nobody seems to be able to leave me alone until I start yelling swears at them or pull out my pepper spray. There seems to be no effective way to say "no" without raising my voice. My "I don't want a boyfriend" gets the response, "Oh cool, I wanna take this slow, too." Like, no, I DON'T want to take it slow. I don't want to take this anywhere at all, please get away from me. I've wanted a guy best friend for a really long time, but every guy I've become good friends with started expecting more. At this point, I feel like I should wear a neon sign. "DON'T ASK ME OUT. I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOUR STUPID ASS." And every time I reject a good friend, I experience that friendship breakup. I cry and am miserable because this person, who I thought valued me as a person, actually only valued me as a future wife. And I lost what could have been a lifelong friend just because they couldn't handle being in a non-romantic relationship with me.
  6. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (you may have heard people refer to it as the Mormon church, but we would like to keep the name Jesus Christ in the title when refering to it). My religion is very family-oriented, and it very much encourages dating and marriage. However, while the people of the church can be judgmental, I have never felt like the teachings of the Church in any way exclude or condemn me for being aromantic. I know that God made me the way I am, and his plan for me just doesn't include romance. The Lord has spoken to me a lot through prayer and revelation about my ability to influence friends and roommates and family, etc. and to strengthen relationships with them. He has not told me to date or get married, and I think his plan for me takes into account the fact that I'm aro. The best way I can influence the world is through platonic love, familial love, and Christ's love.
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