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About Freyja

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  1. Freyja

    Early signs that you were aro

    I forget when exactly but some time during middle school, I had met a boy online and I thought it was the greatest thing ever because I loved romances. So naturally we talked and became virtual bf/gf. Then one morning he messaged me “good morning, beautiful” like he always does, but as I read it, bile immediately rose to my throat. I felt this uncomfortable heaviness in my chest that physically weighed me down but also this strong urge to run away; to just physically get away even though he was nowhere near me. I stopped talking to him altogether that day and cried out of anger and confusion. I still like doing him but out of no where I felt disgusted by him trying to romance me even though it was what I wanted and I easily now felt nothing for him. Since then, I’ve been struggling with myself.
  2. Freyja

    Coining a term for affectionate aros

    I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. No one around me understands... I wish we had a recognized word to define ourselves. Affectiomantic? Affectio-Aromantic? Affectio-Aro? (Affectio is apparently Latin for “affection”)
  3. I’ve never been on a web forum before but I’m tired of feeling so isolated, invalidated, and confused. I’m a bit ignorant on the topic so I don’t know how to properly define myself. I have no problem loving someone but it’s hard for me to be in love and stay in love. I have a boyfriend and I’ve wanted one for so long. I grew up reading romances but anyone who came along gave me anxiety and caused a “flight” response in me. I didn’t feel satisfaction from attraction being directed towards me. I thought it was a commitment issue at first but even when I was mentally and physically attracted to someone, as hard as I tried, I couldn’t feel in love with them. Even now, I love my boyfriend but I don’t think I feel consistently in love. I’m not even sure what being in love means or feels like. I feel like I could walk away from this relationship with a tear or two over a lost friendship but other days I feel like I need him... but maybe I’m not in love with him. Maybe I just like how he makes me feel and I don’t want to be lonely anymore? I don’t know. Maybe one day I can fall in love and stay that way and know for sure what it feels like. It takes a lot for me to have romantic feelings. It rarely happens and I need an emotional connection first but even then, I can’t feel all aspects of romance. I can have sex without feelings but someone has to be my friend for years before I can even begin to feel romantic attraction. But I want to feel it. I’ve cried so many times for not being able to feel it for good people. I’m a hopeless romantic for heaven’s sake! Okay sorry for rambling. I just feel so lost, and that I’m the most unnecessarily complex and burdensome person. Glad this is anonymous lol