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About TripleA

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  • Birthday 02/28/2001

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  1. So, I can pretty much such that I've never had a proper crush... Well, almost. There's this one "crush" I had when I was 14/15 that I'm still a bit confused about. So there was this girl in my Media class who I will call G. I remember always admiring how beautiful she was whenever I was around her, and maybe a couple times not around her too. I also remember wanting to talk to her and to connect with her in some way, she was nice. I was nervous around her, but maybe that's because she was so pretty, and I was a special needs kid at school like this girl was out of my league. I get nervous around girls. Come to think of it, I'm not sure if I ever thought about her that much...again I got over her quickly whenever this all stopped. Oh yeah, I never felt anything sexual, or that sensual for some reason (I guess my sexual attraction was still not there yet or something) I think there is definitely aesthetic attraction though, I'm thinking it's either a squish or a crush but I really don't know. I'm confused.
  2. Alloaromantic? What? You Aro or Allo?
  3. I've wanted sex and companionship for about 2 years now, but never wanted romance specifically. I do wish that I wasn't aro sometimes, because it would be easier for me to find a partner. I was in a relationship and it really made me feel uneasy, so I called it off. I sometimes get annoyed with romance and bad cliches in media, and a bit repulsed, but I'm mostly indifferent.
  4. Personally, I see it as sexual and/or sensual for me. It doesn't have to be sexual or romantic, it depends on how you view it yourself. I'm sure some allos also don't like kissing that much either, if they find it sexual, romantic or not.
  5. I've seen many alloromantics get jealous when they find out that their crush is with someone else, are there people who don't get bothered about it as much and just get over it, like I do? How about a breakup? Are all allos just really, really sad and stuff when they breakup with someone and find it hard to get over someone? When I am interested in someone for companionship or find her sexually attractive, I may get a bit bummed out if she is with someone, but I get over people really quickly, almost unnaturally so. I remember how I got over a woman I had alterous feelings too pretty quick, and people at school were quite shocked, as if they expected that I romantically loved her a lot and could never let her go, but I just was like, eh. I still missed her, but I don't think I cried or got sad that much when she left. I did a little bit beforehand, though.
  6. So, I think this could most likely be another instance of me having alterous attraction, but idk. So there is this older woman I am fairly acquainted with; I would guess between 22-27. She runs a restaurant, which I've eaten at quite a lot since October last year. I went there a lot during a darker time mentally from January to April of this year, and I still go there fairly often (It's still the first place I go to eat). This woman is Polish, but speaks good English, so we talked a lot about not being from the town, and we told each other some parts about our lives. I like knowing about different cultures, and stuff, and she was always very kind to me. The food was also good, and it wasn't too crowded as well, which helped a lot when going there (this is why I first went in in the first place). After a little while, I began to have her on my mind sometimes, and that grew to pretty often, yet I never imagined us in any relationship other than in a platonic one. One time, I did have a weird dream, where she asked me what I should call her in terms of a relationship, but I remember being a bit surprised, because she's most likely straight and has a boyfriend, who she's just had a kid with (the baby is very cute btw, I love young children ^.^). I mean, once she told me she were pregnant, I already knew she would have had a boyfriend or something, and I was right. When I found out she has a bf for sure, I was never really jealous, and I never am when I have a sexual interest in a woman, (If it's a sexual interest, I may be a bit bummed, but I get over it pretty quickly), and I am pretty good at getting over women. Last time I had alterous attraction for a woman, it was really intense (I thought I'd loved her for a while before discovering alterous attraction and realising that I never wanted anything sexual or romantic with her at all, it never crossed my mind (I hadn't experienced sexual attraction by then, but did start to see my lack of straightness, so to say). When I am around her, and in the restaurant in general since there are other nice people who come in, I feel pretty relaxed, and being there helps me feel better. Partly because of her and her friends and family who go there, and the atmosphere and quietness of the place. Finding less crowded, noisy places is very important to me because too many crowds and noise makes go into sensory overload and causes panic attacks or meltdowns sometimes. However, I have been quite nervous and taking a long time before going in sometimes, partly because there is no open/closed sign on the door, and never am completely sure if it's open except if the lights are on, and also because I may feel like a bother to them. I am indecisive anyway, and I get paranoid a lot as well, however I've not felt this as much as of recently, and have gotten to know when it's open or closed and stuff like that, I've relaxed a bit (my better mental state also helps, I think). When I told my 5 day long girlfriend about this, she thought I was in love with her, when I just said I got attached to older women easily (which is true). As I've said, I think I just have intense alterous feelings or a squish maybe, but tell me what you think. I am happy with just being friends with her.
  7. I have one pride flag bc I'm gay and I sewed the aro flag on my glasses case
  8. it's working now, thank you
  9. It's only happened today, but I cannot go on the homepage of this site, it just brings me an error saying that the page isn't working and that the site is 'currently unable to handle this request', but I can access the rest of the site fine. I can't reload the page either because it comes up with the same thing. it says HTTP error 500 beneath it. I even tried clearing my cache as well, but I still get the error. I also cannot access my Profile page either, it just comes up with: [[Template core/front/profile/profile is throwing an error. This theme may be out of date. Run the support tool in the AdminCP to restore the default theme.]]
  10. I don't know, but I couldn't imagine being so obsessed with a person like that. Now I understand that crushes are just as intense as they are in books, movies, TV, etc. and that I don't really feel that way when I "crush" on someone, I just stare because I like looking at hot chicks, and I only really think about a woman a lot when I experience alterous attraction to her.
  11. I mean I don't think you necessarily have to want to kiss someone to be romantically attracted to someone, kissing could also be seen as purely part of sensual or sexual attraction as well (I view kissing in these ways). If you really think you've had romantic attraction, especially more than once, then that does make you alloromantic (I would guess biromantic). I think because you thought you were aromantic for so long, you rejected the idea of ever having romantic attraction, and were not open to the fact that you could develop it in the future (not the case for aros, obviously, but for allos who thought they were aro before developing roamntic attraction). This is where some people go wrong in the process of discovering their sexual or romantic orientation, and it's not a bad thing to be wrong sometimes. Sometimes, humans are not so patient, or we think it's right at the time. True, they could be right down the line, but it doesn't always go that way. I am not 100% sure I am aro myself, I am still questioning and going through my feelings however, I was in one romantic relationship (quite a short one) and it did not end well, as I had no romantic feelings whatsoever and it felt awkward and uncomfortable. The thing is, most romantics have to go through a few relationships to find 'the one', and I'm open to the fact that maybe I just haven't found someone I have romantic attraction to yet, despite being 18 years old and had sexual attraction since the age of 15, and that's fine. This is pretty much why allo people will say to Aros, "You will find the one someday" (I've had it before), and it can be true for most people, including those who think they are one thing but turn out to be another thing entirely, but not for Aros. It's annoying, but yeah. Romantics won't understand aromanticism much anyway, and then there's the whole anormativity thing. I think it is harder to determine if you're Aro and/or Ace when you're below say 16-18, since you are still developing, and some people do develop late in some cases (like I did), but it's different for different people. You just gotta 'go with the flow' and do what you want, because there's the whole 'the heart wants what it wants' thing
  12. I have no idea what a "woven aro" is in English Same with this one These too I've seen French speakers just say aspec/arospec like in English (I'm a French learner) In Russian, Aromantic and Asexual are pretty much how they sound or are spelt, but with the Cyrillic alphabet. *brings up Russian keyboard* Asexual - асексуал { aseksual } Sexual - сексуал { seksual } (could use this for allosexual, I guess, there might be a separate term for it) Aromantic - аромантик { aromantik } Romantic - романтик { romantik } (could use this for alloromantic, I guess, there might be a separate term for it) In the Russian language, the letter c is only used for the 's' sound and the letter x is only used for the 'kh' sound, which replaces the 'h' sound in English pretty much (think of the ch at the end of loch). for example, Homosexual would be spelt like, 'хомосексуал' { khomoseksual }.
  13. It's hard to choose for me, because my wants for companionship don't really fit one box only. I am not 100% sure but I feel like I would be happy in a strong friendship with sex and affection/Sexual QPRs. From what I've tried, the thought of going to meet someone for onetime sex makes me nervous and having been in a romantic relationship (a short one) I found it very awkward and restricting. It was uncomfortable for me to even call her my girlfriend.
  14. So, a little while ago, Paul Joseph Watson (the creator of the term 'soy boy', and a British right wing commentary YouTuber) made a video named, "Love is a Mental Illness". (It's best to watch the full video to get a good understanding as to what Paul is talking about.) Video linked here: https://youtu.be/HbagBeqClwo In summary, he explains how the beginnings of humans experiencing romantic attraction are similiar to that of people taking drugs and getting a high, as well as how social media is preventing us from finding long term, stable relationships that lead us to marrying and having children, with dating apps and online dating as a whole on the rise - this is leading people to pursue romance less and less. We also see a rose-tinted form of romance in many books, TV shows, movies, art, etc. Where as, before, romance was seen as bad, and plays like Romeo and Juliet would have been seen as a warning of what romance love/attraction can do to someone's mental state. Not to mention that when humans experience romantic attraction, it is an unhealthy obsession with one person, they must know every little thing about that person, and they must possess them for themselves. It's almost an act of greed. To my knowledge, this lack of interest for love/relationships is prominent in Japan, where it has partly taken a toll on the birth rate in the country, due to less people having children and getting married. More and more Japanese people are seeing no point in marriage or dating, citing porn, virtual girlfriends and one night stands as ways they satisfy their needs instead. This video by The Infographics Show touches on this, and other reasons why Japan's population is slowly shrinking. Video linked here: https://youtu.be/3tiqNlrUsHE Maybe this is/will be the case in other countries such as Germany, where the birth rate is also low. Developed countries as a whole usually have lower birth rates than undeveloped countries, therefore may also not see the point in marriage or relationships. However, don't get this modern form of celibacy confused with Aromanticism; they may still have romantic attraction, but only use quick fixes or alternatives to satisfy their romantic wants. Remember probably around 1% of the world population (so only around 7 million) is Aromantic, similar to Asexuals (maybe it's even rarer seeing as not all Asexuals are also Aromantic), however there are currently no studies that suggest an estimate of the Aromantic population. It is important to note, that this is just addressing romantic love, NOT platonic or familial love. Also, it is known that long term, stable, romantic relationships/marriages can make both parties happier in life. So, all of this raises some interesting questions: Yes, romantic love can be seen as necessary on a biological standpoint, but if someone does not want to have children, is romance and marriage really necessary? Why legally bind yourself to someone when you will be restricted to one person and have less freedom and more responsibilities? Maybe for more financial stability? If someone does want to have children, does raising children with friends or non-romantic partners seem more logical than risking their mental health by pursuing romance? Are those who are Aromantic less susceptible to mental illness because they don't need/want to pursue romantic relationships, therefore won't suffer the pain of rejection, the friendzone or a breakup? Maybe we should look into alternatives to romantic relationships to satisfy our needs instead of putting ourselves up for failure a lot of the time? Should we refrain from using social media or dating apps to pursue romance? Tell me your thoughts.
  15. Eh, I like reading it in fanfiction (usually gay), but I'm more indifferent. I just don't use micro labels too much. I don't understand it that much, and not sure what the actual point of it is. In some instances, however, I see it as stupid like how people will stay with bad partners just because they "love" them or when it becomes an unnecessary sub plot in stories.
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