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oak

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    5
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About oak

  • Rank
    Newbie

Personal Information

  • Name
    oak
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Romanticism
    Gray-Romantic
  • Sexuality
    Gray-Sexual

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  1. oak

    When do I speak up

    I guess that is a good point, maybe it didn’t answer my literal question but did give another perspective and honestly a way healthier perspective... I really shouldn’t be so worried about other people that I’m stressing myself out so it’s defibitely good advice and thank you for it!
  2. This is very similar to how I felt about my now ex best friend and I’ve always said losing him was the closest thing to heart break I’ve ever felt.... for a while after we stopped talking I claimed I must’ve liked him because I wouldn’t be hurting so much if I didn’t but thinking about it now I still feel like it wasn’t quite exactly what people call romantic love.... unless I’m just misunderstanding what romantic love means i did love him a lot though
  3. Hi! I actually feel this post very much and have refused to label myself publically as aro/ace because I am sadly hoping one day it’ll randomly hit me in the face and I’ll feel these amazing “butterflies and fireworks” people talk about i wish I could give advice but I struggle with this a lot too, but you are definitely not alone for me I keep myself occupied with relatively intimiate friendships, maybe similar to QPRs in general the idea of a QPR gives me some amount of hope i also just try to keep in mind I’m young and have a lot of personal growing to do and schooling to do and keeping in mind if romance is for me it’ll show up and if it’s not it won’t and that’s that To the people I have mentioned my feelings to I say greyromantic because it seems pretty vague... “rarely having feelings” lets me feel like there’s still a chance of it happening I’m sure this wasn’t too much help but hopefully you at least feel less alone
  4. oak

    When do I speak up

    I guess that’s a good point that boundaries are normal, the only reason I’ve given up on speaking them is so many people seem to think if we talk enough, if they give me enough, or if we spend enough time together that I’ll develop feelings and it seems too hard for them to comprehend that that.... just doesn’t happen to me?? Idk I am a native English speaker yes and using the word friend does make me super uncomfy but it is honestly a good idea and one of the most passive ways to go about addressing this issue so maybe I should just suck it up and do it to get my point across thank you so much for your reply! I’m not sure if quoting this gives you a notification (I’m very new here) so maybe you’ll never see this but thanks
  5. oak

    When do I speak up

    Hi, first off thanks for reading this if you are second I’m not entirely sure if I identify as aro/ace or if it’s just a fear of intimacy but either way I thought this would be a good place to ask for advice i often find myself in the situation where a guy is talking to me but I’m afraid that he doesn’t care much about being friends... I continue replying because I feel like ghosting them would be rude, but I can’t figure out when or how it’s appropriate to inform him if his only goal is to try to date me or sleep with me he will NOT get anywhere. I don’t wanna assume that’s the only reason they’re talking to me, but I also don’t want to risk leading them on. Considering I haven’t fully taken the identity of aro/ace I’m not sure I want to just throw that out there, there’s friends I haven’t even told how I feel. Anyway my question is does anyone have a good way to casually inform someone that there is not a single chance anything romantic or sexual will spark? I don’t want to make things awkward but I don’t want to waste their time
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