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Cristal Gris

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About Cristal Gris

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    any pronoun (but i like they/them idk)
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  • Romanticism

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  1. I was having some kind of identity crisis and i remembered that word i found on internet some month ago (aromantic). (it was something like "i am supposed to be straight but i don't do that.." … "wait, am i straight?" . )
  2. I've never been in a relationship. Even without *knowing* about aromantism itself, i knew when i was not in love with peoples, so…. I said no everytime someone asked me out and i never forced myself. I knew i didn"t want a relationship like that. "not yet" , i used to say when i was younger, but still. Note : while i got (get) things like "you will find someone" or "so when will you bring a guy home?" , i never felt *forced* , peoples didn't insist too much about it every second in my life (yeah some weird dudes were too insisting when i said no, but thankfully i never gave up ). And my parents stopped asking, they understand more or less.
  3. Make sense. I understand that. i am not urging you to break up. You know him more than me, that's for sure. Here is a tip if you want to explore the topic : most aros reject aromantism at first because of amatonormativity. Short story : this is the assumption that you need to be in a relationship to be happy, especially a romantic one. That romance is supperior, the ultimate goal. Many peoples think that without romance and romantic feelings you are lesser. Maybe this website could hep you? https://www.aromanticism.org/en/basic-terms Not because i want to ignore you, but there is only so much i can do, haha . I recommend to check the glossary and ressources sections.
  4. Thanks for the explaination. I.. suppose you would understand if i said i am not exactly the person with the biggest experience with romantic relationships haha. But i have some questions (and you don't have to answer them if this make you uncomfortable ) If you're unhappy with this relationship, do it really matter if he is aro or not? Is this kind of relationship the best for you two? You said you love him but there is others kind of relationships and you don't need less love for them. I don't want to be too nosy. But unless he say himself he is aro (or questioning his possible aromantism), we can't assume. And that, well, is up to him. Including the time he takes (or dont take) to look it up. I realize that you asked about his aromantism, and i make it about you. But i only have your version, so i am not sure what else to do, sorry
  5. Hello ! A question : Did he told you himself he was aromantic? Maybe i am wrong about what happened (seriously feel free to correct me), but if he didn't, it's better to not assume what he is. But in any case, please remember that assuming that someone is aromantic because you don't feel that great with them in a couple is not a good thing. Hmm… well, that's his choice. To not go into detail i mean. We can't exactly push someone "out of the closet" or force words and labels on them. It's for us to choose them at our own pace. (or to not pick them ) I am sorry, this is probably not what you're looking for, but i am not sure i understand everything.
  6. I am not fully repulsed (i mean, sometime i am fine with it , under some conditions. ), but when i discovered i was aro (and learned about amatonormativity ) , i just stopped pretending to myself it was the absolute form of happiness/love. Now i am more, like, amatonormativity-repulsed haha But yeah, my tolerance to romance dropped.
  7. Having boundaries , aro or not , is not being an asshole. Now… only you can tell if you feel like aro or grey-aro fit you. Aside the usual definitons, there is not really any doctor check list or something. But the aro spectrum is vast, and with many identities and feelings. Maybe reading them could help you? (here is some of them https://www.aromanticism.org/en/identity-terms. This site could, in general, be helpfull to you ) and also that https://www.aromanticism.org/en/faq (PS : i love your profile photo ! this comic was great. )
  8. Verity Willis from "loki : agent of asgard" (marvel ) Idk , it don't look like she is interested by romance (or at least not much ). I think she say so herself but i don't remember exactly. (she can also detect any lie, so it may or may not be one of the reason? If not THE Reason? not sure. She Don't seems to hate dating itself, she is more like "i hate when peoples lies and they lies all time". Not sure about romantic feelings ) Well, i like her and it's not impossible for her to be aro-spec anyway, so… *shrug* I feel Something (also aro-spec peoples can date, so why not? ^^ )
  9. Nope! Just aro. My sexual attraction is a bit complicate, and i really dont feel like it need a label. And my other attractions? I don"t feel like they need one either. Not that i have many other attractions to begin with, haha
  10. I understand that and i agree. I am just a bit confused about how some peoples use it ^^ Sometime, they put the two together so i prefered to ask
  11. Good question. In french, we use "petit ami" or "petite amie" . (ami.e = friend ). Or "copin / copine". It also can be used to mean "friend" , but it's mostly used to mean "boyfriend / girlfriend" , especially if you're not a kid.
  12. 1 : I went through multiple periods of questioning/label changes. I discovered my aromantism first. I was sure. Then i was questionning. Bi ? Pan ? ace ? Then i settled with "ace". It was good enough back then. Then i was thinking about grey-ace maybe. Now i don't even label it lol , i am just aro. With a blury sexual attraction. 2 : Unsure . Good question. Not sure i can answer. 3 : Related for another reason . Well… i feel like "aro" is enough, so… It has something to do with me not using the sam i guess ? ^^ I mean, i feel like if i was alloromantic, it would be different (captain obvious, but i am speaking about my sexual orientation. Now i don't have one, no label. But if i was not aro? Hmm... )
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