Jump to content

bananaslug

Member
  • Content Count

    71
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    6

2 Followers

About bananaslug

  • Rank
    Member

Personal Information

  • Name
    Yarrow/ Sea
  • Gender
    enbyfluid
  • Pronouns
    they/them
  • Romanticism
    aromantic
  • Sexuality
    asexual

Recent Profile Visitors

546 profile views
  1. My dude, saying that terms and such should be preserved for "easier-to-please people" as you put it, is not even a little bit equivalent to saying that other experiences don’t matter, don’t put words in my mouth. I said pretty explicitly that I believe we can re-think these lists so that they give people more information and context. These vocabulary lists don’t necessarily have to be lacking in context or links to other resources. So uh...most aspec terminology lists do mention if there are other terms with the same meaning (including most of the ones in siggy's footnotes). For a common example, most of theses lists include both Lith and Akoi and make a point of stating that they’re two different words for the same thing. Like yeah, probably not all of these lists are so helpful, but in my experience the vast majority of them are. Most of the people who have been in the community long enough to collect a glossary are pretty aware of the "reinvention treadmill".
  2. I think you may be looking at history as purly accademic and research based, and while that is one way to look at history, there's another away of looking at history, which is offten more common in queer communites, and that's as a way of telling stories about ourselves and who we are. A great example of this with vocabulary is the term Bambi-sexual. This was a, not super common term, that happened to be included in a few diffrent queer and gay glossaries back in the 80’s. Now would those sources be especially helpful to academic historians trying to find the origin and different uses of the term? Probably not. But when dug up and remembered by community members outside of that field it help inform an understanding and narrative of what the gay and lesbian communities were like in the late 80’s. It show us a way in which this community has changed over time, it gives us some idea of the diversity of experiences within that community and it helps us understand what some social and cultural norms may have been in that time and place (in this case Los Angeles). And with Bambi-sexual in particular, a lot of alloace’s saw the term and said, “Hey, that sounds a lot like me, isn’t it cool that people like me existed in the past even if we use different terms now!” and that’s important too because it gives us not just a sense of what was happening then, but a sense of where a certain group was in history. And yeah, it maybe doesn’t give all the information that an academic historian or linguist would want, but it still informs us. Language builds and reflects culture and preserving language in one form or another, can in many ways help preserve an understanding of that culture and who we are as a group. Now I am certainly willing to have a conversation about how we make these lists and glossaries, and what context should be included with them. For instance the AUREA glossary includes sources to the coining of each word when possible and maybe we should make that more of a norm, but I don’t think having less documentations of terms is super helpful. It is always good to have as much information as possible, and while this is just a personal preference, I would prefer do have half a dozen uncontextualized glossaries than lose all that language completely. Even language without coinage and multiple context can be useful, or at the very least interesting. Well it's worth noting then that a lot of the "glossaries" in those foot notes were not actualy labeled or intended as glossaries. Most of them are tittled "list of aro-spec identies" or something like that. If a glossary is only a glossary when labled as such then we're not actually having a discusion about the right topic.
  3. I think this kind of relates to a conversation that happened a few years back (which seems to have been eaten by time but I will keep looking) about how we preserve aspec terms for historical purposes. The question being, sense some terms will inevitably die off on their own, how do we catalogue our terminology for historical reference. As someone who actually made one of the glossaries listed in the footnotes on that post I will say personally that I find the purpose of stagnant aspec glossaries to be more as a historical paper trail than anything else. Have I actually met anyone who identifies as Thymromantic in the last 3 years? No. But someone, at some point, did find that to be a useful enough concept that they coined a term for it, so I feel that word is worth preserving, at the very least so that some day in the future aspec historians will have a better idea about how we talked and thought about attraction. Same with other dead or uncommon labels, whether we use them or not, if we want to keep a historical record we still need to have them documented somewhere public. I think the issue here is mostly with dates. Most of the glossaries in those footnotes are dated, and you can easily see that they haven't been edited sense 2015 or 2016. In those cases I think it's often up to the reader to think critically about whether or not a glossary is current enough to use. In other cases they're not dated and I really think that's a bigger issue. There's no way to know what's current if there is not date, and especially on social media platforms where things can get picked up and shared how ever many years later, there's not always a good way for creators to come back and say "hey this is actually pretty old and shouldn't be used anymore" when a glossary isn't dated to begin with. I think there is also a question here of how we use those glossaries. If I intend a glossary as a historical record but other people then use it as a reference then how do we reconcile conflicting uses? I don't have great solutions for these things but I think it's worth bringing up and maybe having a conversation about.
  4. Hmm, so for me personally adoption is a really big thing that I see having political challenges with in the future, and I think what will really allow us to change and work on that problem is coalition building. You mentioned working with the poly community on marriage, but we should also be working with poly folks on adoption. Monogamy is just as much of a prerequisite for adoption as marriage often is, and that’s another place where these two groups could work together. I also think with adoption, at least in the U.S, it would be important to do coalition building with non-christian religious groups. A lot of courts and adoption agencies are unwilling to send children to non-christian households, and that bias affects a lot of people. I know that personally as a children's class director at a Pagan place of worship I’ve had to do a lot of work to make services “acceptable” for pagan foster kids to attend because our cultural norms are so different. We’ve also had a lot of potential foster parents and adopters in our community turned away by agencies because they’re not “promoting christian values within the home”. And that’s just my experience with paganism, I know that a lot of other non-christan faith groups face similar problems when trying to adopt, and I think that given the opportunity, non-christain religious organizations are some really big, already organized, groups that could really help us with political activism around this issue.
  5. So I work in child care and usually when I talk to kids about aromanticism I don't actually use the label "aromantic" Kids have a lot of questions about relationships so usually I instead say things like "I don't get crushes" or "I don't want a boyfriend/girlfriend". The point isn't so much to teach kids the word as it is to open kids up to other ways of thinking about romance, and I think with children's media that would also be the best way to do it. When I tell kids I don't get crushes they tend to come back with questions a few days later. "Won't you be lonely?" "Who will you live with?" And "can you marry a friend?" Are some of the more common ones. I think there are definitely ways a program like Disney could address these questions through an aro character, especially sense those questions are ones that aros frequently have to grappel with themselves. But yeah I think Disney has enough personal growth and exploration stories that this wouldn't be to hard to do, but I think having an affective aro character also means addressing the questions kids have about it.
  6. Hi @Coyote Our PR Team is getting to all the emails as fast as possible. We are an all volunteer team and we are trying to give equal time to all feedback so unfortunately response time is a little slow, but we have received your email and are working on addressing your feedback. Thank you for your concern, you should be receiving an email back before the beta period is over.
  7. @raavenb2619 Tumblr can be a little hectic when it comes to tracking down peoples feedback, so while we aren't putting an open link to the beta on Tumblr quite yet we do have a select group of Tumblr bloggers that we're asking to look over the site while it's still in beta. If you know a few Tumblr users who you think might want to look over the sight you're welcome to share the link with them, but we want to finish the beta period before posting the website link there. Currently, we are looking for aro's of color and aro men in particular who would like to give feedback since those experiences aren't as prevalent within our core team. Thank you so much for your support and willingness to signal boost, it's greatly appreciated and we definitely encourage it once we're out of beta! We'll make another post when the website goes into Alpha so that it's easy for people to keep track.
  8. Hi there @Solfege, I’m one of the website building team members! Thank you for your feedback and I hope I can address some of your concerns. Yes, we recognize that website design and building experience is a necessary part of this project and while we haven’t been working with AVEN or asexualsurvivors specifically, we have been consulting with community members that have web building experience. This is understandable. We listed a broader goal as part of our fundraising, but our more specific goals include: Creating an extensive aromantic glossary with coinage and variation in definition listed Providing accessible online and printable resources, as well as a listing of in-person aromantic groups Creating an aro community contact point for media outlets and researchers Maintaining a community feed with information on events, surveys, and news articles Many of our team members already run or mod for aro specific blogs, so our goal with this website was to create something more formal than a subdomain. While we did consider using wordpress self-hosting, we also looked at a number of other hosting platforms and decided that squarespace provided the best website building tools for the lowest cost, so we are using it instead. As for having a beta version for feedback, we are planning to accept feedback on the website once it’s live. I appreciate your concern on this point. We have been consulting with other community members on various topics and are working hard to make sure we have accurate information on aromantic history and sources for different terms and concepts. We would not be doing this project if we weren’t all willing to put in the work. While diversity was considered when picking team members, we were not trying to fill any diversity quotas. As a result, we do have some gaps in experience, but we will make a point of consulting with other community members around topics that require more diverse viewpoints. As for things like web design, we are designing the website with an eye towards accessibility. I can say that personally as a dyslexic person with a background in graphic design, that’s definitely something at the forefront of my mind when making this website, and I know that my other team members have put a lot of consideration into that as well. I agree that logistics are important. Every member in our group has an official assigned role to make sure things get done and we will be posting those roles when the website goes live. Thank you very much for your feedback. It does give us more things to consider when creating our website and we really appreciate that and will discuss it.
  9. Hey all, it's May, which means a new Carnival of Aros topic! This months topic is one that's very close to my heart, the intersection of religion and aromanticism. I did my best to include prompts that non-religious aros could respond to as well, so I hope most people can find something they're able to respond to. Prompts: Navigating religious spaces as an aro How aromanticism influences your views on religion Dealing with romance focused religious ceremonies like weddings Aromanticism and secular spirituality Your families faith practices and how they have affected your aromantic identity Your aromanticism’s influence on your religious practices How the dominant religion in your country views romance and how that has affected your life How aromanticism influenced your conversion to a new faith Religious expectations around romance and how they affect your aromanticism Religion and its place in non-romantic community building How your aromanticism influenced you leaving a particular faith You can find the full details here. The April carnival round-up isn't out quite yet, but I'll make sure to post a link here when it is. Happy May, and I can't wait to see y'alls responses 💚
  10. I am not suggesting that there is no clear definition of lesbian, or that every person should dictate for themselves what that word mean. What I am suggesting, is that when trying to figure out who does or doesn't "count" as a lesbian we should be curious as to how lesbians define themselves, because only taking into account the ways in which a, most likely straight and cis, dictionary editor defines the word "lesbian" won't give us a complete picture of how that word is used. It's been several years since I identified as part of the lesbian community, so I don't think it's necessarily my place to define this word, but I will happily pull up some alternative definitions of the word "lesbian" from actual LGBTQ+ organizations. GLAAD: "A woman whose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction is to other women. Some lesbians may prefer to identify as gay (adj.) or as gay women" National LGBTQ Task Force: "A woman whose romantic, emotional, and/or sexual attraction is towards other women." PFLAG: "Refers to a woman who is emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to other women. People who are lesbians need not have had any sexual experience; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation." It's worth pointing out that while these definitions, are all quite similar to each other, they're distinctly different from the Merriam-webster definition. None of them use the word "homosexual" which is a term most gay and lesbian people consider derogatory, and all of them specify that there are different kinds of attraction that might lead a woman to identify as lesbian. These definitions are also much more inclusive of the groups I listed above, and leave more room for the existence of lesbians who feel attraction in less conventional ways. I'm not saying that Merriam-webster is necessarily wrong, but I think it's important to consider how a community describes itself when having these conversations because they're the people who will ultimately be most impacted by who ends up using that label.
  11. Yes, I'm aware, and for the general public that works fine, but when getting into community discussions of "who can identify with x" you need a more complex understanding of the term and the community around it or else you're liable to end up gatekeeping. How are you defining "ethical" because I am honestly very uncomfortable with that question if you're using that word in the traditional sense. It isn't harmful or morally wrong for anyone to feel that a certain queer label fits them, even if it's an unconventional one, and honestly, that shouldn't even be a question. I think this is more an issue of respectability politics than anything else and whether or not people will view terms like aroace lesbian as "respectable" is a totally different question then whether on not the term is "ethical" to use.
  12. Yeah, but this doesn't take into account that most major encyclopedias and dictionaries are written by cis straight people who aren't necessarily familiar with queer and lgbt+ language nuances. Like that definition also leaves out: - Homoromantic women who aren't homosexual - Women who identify as lesbians due to trauma - Women who are sometimes attracted to men, but chose to identify as a lesbian due to a strong preference for women - Nonbinary lesbians All of which are groups that *most* LGBTQIA+ people agree are in fact part of the lesbian community. Assuming that standard dictionaries will have accurate and nuanced definitions of lgbt+ terminology ignores the power structures and social disconnects between those who use the identity term and those who write the dictionary itself. That definition isn't all-encompassing to begin with, so I don't think it necessarily needs to be adhered to when figuring out personal identity. @lonelyace if Coyote is right and this is what you're asking I would recommend checking out the tumblr blog aroacelesbians
  13. bananaslug

    Tea thread

    Oh a lot of different companies make it! The blend was created to celebrate Elizabeth II being on the throne for 60 years, so a lot of different tea producers sell it, but most of them are from Commonwealth countries. I usually go up to Canada to buy it when I need more since I'm right by the U.S/Canada border, but you can also get it online in a few places. Mostly black teas, but some green and white (although most of those are gifts from other people since I don't really drink green and white teas). I also have a lot of berry teas because that's what's most of the local farmers here sell, but I tend to save those for making ice tea in the summer.
  14. Yeah, I definitely feel similarly. I would technically consider myself to be an enbian aroace because I only feel queerplatonic and aesthetic attraction to other nonbinary people, but even though I'm partnered with another nonbinary person nblnb isn't really an identity I feel I can claim outside of aspec spaces. My qpp is nothing like a typical romance, and I don't want to overshadow enbians who feel romantic or sexual attraction, because that's a whole other set of experiences, and honestly enbian identity is so new and unknown anyways that I don't want to cause a lot of confusion for people who are just learning the term. It's difficult because on the one hand it is a label that fits me, but on the other hand, I worry about how my use of that terminology might negatively impact other enbians and that's a hard line to draw
×
×
  • Create New...