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bananaslug

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About bananaslug

  • Rank
    Member

Personal Information

  • Name
    Yarrow/ Sea
  • Gender
    enbyfluid
  • Pronouns
    they/them
  • Romanticism
    aromantic
  • Sexuality
    asexual

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  1. Hi @Coyote Our PR Team is getting to all the emails as fast as possible. We are an all volunteer team and we are trying to give equal time to all feedback so unfortunately response time is a little slow, but we have received your email and are working on addressing your feedback. Thank you for your concern, you should be receiving an email back before the beta period is over.
  2. @raavenb2619 Tumblr can be a little hectic when it comes to tracking down peoples feedback, so while we aren't putting an open link to the beta on Tumblr quite yet we do have a select group of Tumblr bloggers that we're asking to look over the site while it's still in beta. If you know a few Tumblr users who you think might want to look over the sight you're welcome to share the link with them, but we want to finish the beta period before posting the website link there. Currently, we are looking for aro's of color and aro men in particular who would like to give feedback since those experiences aren't as prevalent within our core team. Thank you so much for your support and willingness to signal boost, it's greatly appreciated and we definitely encourage it once we're out of beta! We'll make another post when the website goes into Alpha so that it's easy for people to keep track.
  3. Hi there @Solfege, I’m one of the website building team members! Thank you for your feedback and I hope I can address some of your concerns. Yes, we recognize that website design and building experience is a necessary part of this project and while we haven’t been working with AVEN or asexualsurvivors specifically, we have been consulting with community members that have web building experience. This is understandable. We listed a broader goal as part of our fundraising, but our more specific goals include: Creating an extensive aromantic glossary with coinage and variation in definition listed Providing accessible online and printable resources, as well as a listing of in-person aromantic groups Creating an aro community contact point for media outlets and researchers Maintaining a community feed with information on events, surveys, and news articles Many of our team members already run or mod for aro specific blogs, so our goal with this website was to create something more formal than a subdomain. While we did consider using wordpress self-hosting, we also looked at a number of other hosting platforms and decided that squarespace provided the best website building tools for the lowest cost, so we are using it instead. As for having a beta version for feedback, we are planning to accept feedback on the website once it’s live. I appreciate your concern on this point. We have been consulting with other community members on various topics and are working hard to make sure we have accurate information on aromantic history and sources for different terms and concepts. We would not be doing this project if we weren’t all willing to put in the work. While diversity was considered when picking team members, we were not trying to fill any diversity quotas. As a result, we do have some gaps in experience, but we will make a point of consulting with other community members around topics that require more diverse viewpoints. As for things like web design, we are designing the website with an eye towards accessibility. I can say that personally as a dyslexic person with a background in graphic design, that’s definitely something at the forefront of my mind when making this website, and I know that my other team members have put a lot of consideration into that as well. I agree that logistics are important. Every member in our group has an official assigned role to make sure things get done and we will be posting those roles when the website goes live. Thank you very much for your feedback. It does give us more things to consider when creating our website and we really appreciate that and will discuss it.
  4. Hey all, it's May, which means a new Carnival of Aros topic! This months topic is one that's very close to my heart, the intersection of religion and aromanticism. I did my best to include prompts that non-religious aros could respond to as well, so I hope most people can find something they're able to respond to. Prompts: Navigating religious spaces as an aro How aromanticism influences your views on religion Dealing with romance focused religious ceremonies like weddings Aromanticism and secular spirituality Your families faith practices and how they have affected your aromantic identity Your aromanticism’s influence on your religious practices How the dominant religion in your country views romance and how that has affected your life How aromanticism influenced your conversion to a new faith Religious expectations around romance and how they affect your aromanticism Religion and its place in non-romantic community building How your aromanticism influenced you leaving a particular faith You can find the full details here. The April carnival round-up isn't out quite yet, but I'll make sure to post a link here when it is. Happy May, and I can't wait to see y'alls responses 💚
  5. I am not suggesting that there is no clear definition of lesbian, or that every person should dictate for themselves what that word mean. What I am suggesting, is that when trying to figure out who does or doesn't "count" as a lesbian we should be curious as to how lesbians define themselves, because only taking into account the ways in which a, most likely straight and cis, dictionary editor defines the word "lesbian" won't give us a complete picture of how that word is used. It's been several years since I identified as part of the lesbian community, so I don't think it's necessarily my place to define this word, but I will happily pull up some alternative definitions of the word "lesbian" from actual LGBTQ+ organizations. GLAAD: "A woman whose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction is to other women. Some lesbians may prefer to identify as gay (adj.) or as gay women" National LGBTQ Task Force: "A woman whose romantic, emotional, and/or sexual attraction is towards other women." PFLAG: "Refers to a woman who is emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to other women. People who are lesbians need not have had any sexual experience; it is the attraction that helps determine orientation." It's worth pointing out that while these definitions, are all quite similar to each other, they're distinctly different from the Merriam-webster definition. None of them use the word "homosexual" which is a term most gay and lesbian people consider derogatory, and all of them specify that there are different kinds of attraction that might lead a woman to identify as lesbian. These definitions are also much more inclusive of the groups I listed above, and leave more room for the existence of lesbians who feel attraction in less conventional ways. I'm not saying that Merriam-webster is necessarily wrong, but I think it's important to consider how a community describes itself when having these conversations because they're the people who will ultimately be most impacted by who ends up using that label.
  6. Yes, I'm aware, and for the general public that works fine, but when getting into community discussions of "who can identify with x" you need a more complex understanding of the term and the community around it or else you're liable to end up gatekeeping. How are you defining "ethical" because I am honestly very uncomfortable with that question if you're using that word in the traditional sense. It isn't harmful or morally wrong for anyone to feel that a certain queer label fits them, even if it's an unconventional one, and honestly, that shouldn't even be a question. I think this is more an issue of respectability politics than anything else and whether or not people will view terms like aroace lesbian as "respectable" is a totally different question then whether on not the term is "ethical" to use.
  7. Yeah, but this doesn't take into account that most major encyclopedias and dictionaries are written by cis straight people who aren't necessarily familiar with queer and lgbt+ language nuances. Like that definition also leaves out: - Homoromantic women who aren't homosexual - Women who identify as lesbians due to trauma - Women who are sometimes attracted to men, but chose to identify as a lesbian due to a strong preference for women - Nonbinary lesbians All of which are groups that *most* LGBTQIA+ people agree are in fact part of the lesbian community. Assuming that standard dictionaries will have accurate and nuanced definitions of lgbt+ terminology ignores the power structures and social disconnects between those who use the identity term and those who write the dictionary itself. That definition isn't all-encompassing to begin with, so I don't think it necessarily needs to be adhered to when figuring out personal identity. @lonelyace if Coyote is right and this is what you're asking I would recommend checking out the tumblr blog aroacelesbians
  8. bananaslug

    Tea thread

    Oh a lot of different companies make it! The blend was created to celebrate Elizabeth II being on the throne for 60 years, so a lot of different tea producers sell it, but most of them are from Commonwealth countries. I usually go up to Canada to buy it when I need more since I'm right by the U.S/Canada border, but you can also get it online in a few places. Mostly black teas, but some green and white (although most of those are gifts from other people since I don't really drink green and white teas). I also have a lot of berry teas because that's what's most of the local farmers here sell, but I tend to save those for making ice tea in the summer.
  9. Yeah, I definitely feel similarly. I would technically consider myself to be an enbian aroace because I only feel queerplatonic and aesthetic attraction to other nonbinary people, but even though I'm partnered with another nonbinary person nblnb isn't really an identity I feel I can claim outside of aspec spaces. My qpp is nothing like a typical romance, and I don't want to overshadow enbians who feel romantic or sexual attraction, because that's a whole other set of experiences, and honestly enbian identity is so new and unknown anyways that I don't want to cause a lot of confusion for people who are just learning the term. It's difficult because on the one hand it is a label that fits me, but on the other hand, I worry about how my use of that terminology might negatively impact other enbians and that's a hard line to draw
  10. bananaslug

    Tea thread

    I drink both tea and coffee but I have a pretty big selection of teas! I'm a big fan of the Dimond Jubilee tea blend.
  11. I''m also a community college student and I know one other arospec person who attends my college but that's it
  12. White rings on the left middle finger used to be an aro thing? White jade rings in particular were very popular because they also had green in them, but idk, this seems to be a trend that has mostly died out.We could definitely bring this back though.
  13. Deffinatly agree with everyone above, if he was making it hard for you to work then you did the right thing. This is a really good point, and actually I might end up writing someone or starting a thread about romantic harassment at some point because that's deffinatly something I've exsperianced and it might be helpful for other aros if that discussion was started
  14. It really depends on the context for me. Like if the person already has some understanding of queer terminology and I have time to explain things like the SAM then I'll use the term aromantic. Otherwise, I just tell people that I don't get crushes.
  15. The trouble with aromanticism is that it's very hard to prove a negative. Most of the time when people identify as aro what they're saying is "I've felt little to no romantic attraction up to this point and I greatly suspect that this will continue to be the case". Of course, there are other reasons to identify as aro aswell, but I think that's what a lot of people mean by it. So like personally I consider myself to be aro because I haven't ever felt anything I would consider to be romantic attraction, and when I'm in situations where I'm expected to reciprocate romantic feelings or actions it usually impacts my mental health negatively. I know that all of that might change in the future and if it does I'll probably find another identity label to use, but at least for right now that doesn't appear to be changing any time soon and having the word "aromantic" helps me explain and understand my experiences. So I guess what I'm trying to get at is that you don't have to be 100% sure that you'll be aromantic forever and always to use the label. In fact most aros aren't that certain. But if the term 'aromantic' helps you understand your current experiences a little better then you're welcome to use it for as long as you need to, whether that's only for a few months or for the rest of your life. You're also welcome to try out that label for a little bit to see how it fits, I think a lot of the questioning process can be very guess and check. Absolutely certainty isn't something you're likely to get with an orientation that's based on a lack of something, but if aromantic is a label that you think might fit you then it's totally okay to just try it out for a bit.
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