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Everything posted by lonelyace

  1. Holding hands for some reason makes me very uncomfortable. Hugging is great and I enjoy it, but I don't like to cuddle unless I know the person really really well. There are maybe 2 people in the world that I feel comfortable cuddling with and even then its more of sitting close together than actually like, holding each other. I've never kissed or been kissed but the thought of doing so just makes me vaguely uncomfortable.
  2. Something I've noticed about people in romantic relationships, is that the concept of compromise in a relationship can lead to people compromising a piece of themselves. For example, I was once rocking a pair of five inch heels, and my friend loved them. She really wanted a pair of shoes like them, but her boyfriend doesn't like when she's taller than him, so she doesn't wear heels anymore. Or in a more extreme example, my mom has a friend who had a phd in rocket science and worked at nasa. When he married his wife, she didn't like how much time he devoted to work, so he gave all of that up to be a high school teacher. This idea of giving up a piece of yourself so that someone else will love/continue loving you is so alien. I always thought that if anyone was going to love me, they would have to love all of me, heels, career and all. And now, knowing that I'm aromantic, well, I'm not sure how those things play into my life. Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts and see if anyone else had similar feelings.
  3. lonelyace


    Hey, welcome! This is a great place to come and meet other aromantic people. It's really helped me and I'm sure you'll like it here.
  4. Anyone who stops to think about the story usually comes to that conclusion. But in pop culture Romeo and Juliet are often referenced as the paragon of love, the relationship that all couples should aspire to have. I've also seen Sampson and Delilah, another relationship that ends in tragedy, referenced as a couple to model. It's odd that alloromantic people seem to glorify these relationships that end so badly as the thing that everyone should want, and yet that's what they do.
  5. Man, I want to know what the next page says now.
  6. lonelyace

    Saw badoo commercial and it makes me kinda mad

    As if no one could live a fulfilling life without a romantic partner.
  7. There's something like this on AVEN, but I haven't seen it here (although I admittedly didn't look too hard). The idea is to get people talking to each other. So if anyone wans more private conversation to make friends, comment on here, and pm someone that you've never pm-ed before. And maybe tell some things that you're interested in so people know what to chat about.
  8. lonelyace

    Here for answers

    Being on this site has helped me. I didn't really need the information, I knew about the details of aromantacism. I was in denial though, I didn't want to be aromantic. Seeing all of these people proud of their identity helped me come to terms with it. I guess I'm hopping on the thanks for existing band wagon.
  9. lonelyace

    Aromantic Character Headcanons

    I'm currently obsessed with The Runaways right now. It's one of my all time favorite comic book series and the tv show was a bit slow in the first season but great in the second season. I started headcanoning Molly Hernandez (or Hayes in the comics) as aroace as a joke, but now I kinda really like it. She's the only one of the main characters who never has a love interest. The show writers probably do it because she's the youngest and they want to make her seem less mature than all the other runaways, but she's 15. Everyone I knew at 15 already had crushes and were dating. Still, Molly hasn't been given a love interest. Every story arc she has is about wanting everyone to get along as a family. The time she brings an outsider into the group, it's a guy that she thinks might be her brother. I don't know, there isn't really a lot of evidence for aroace Molly but I like the idea. She's so full of love for everyone around her but it all seems to be familial and platonic love.
  10. lonelyace

    Giving yourself up for romance

    A while ago I saw a friend whom I hadn't seen or talked to in quite some time. I asked her how she was and what she was doing with her life. She said she didn't know, she didn't have a boyfriend at the moment, and she didn't like anyone either. "No, how are you?" I pushed. She said she didn't know because she didn't like anyone. When I asked if her identity was based on who she liked, she thought for a moment, and then said yes. I know this sounds fake but it's an encounter that really happened. Obviously she's an extreme case, but it really shows that people really do base themselves around who they date.
  11. lonelyace

    Aromanticism and Religion

    On surveys like these I always put atheist or non religious, because that's what I am. It always feels a little bit weird though since my family is conservative Christian, and I go to a Baptist private school. I've been an atheist for about a year and no one knows that so I still have to go to church and all of that. So when I answer these kind of questions, I wonder if I should answer what I really believe or what I practice, if that makes sense. Oh well, it won't be an issue for much longer. I move out in August.
  12. lonelyace

    Hogwarts Houses!

    Ravenclaw all the way! As for my factions in the Divergent world, I got equal parts erudite and dauntless.
  13. I didn't know that something like this existed!! Thank you for sharing this.
  14. lonelyace

    Hi everyone!

    Welcome! I haven't done much communicating with the people here, but they all seem welcoming and confident in their aromanticism.
  15. lonelyace


    Welcome to arocalypse. I'm glad that you are happy to have a label for you. I wasn't overly excited to realize that I'm aromantic because I'm absolutely terrified of being alone forever, but hey, to each their own.
  16. lonelyace

    would you rather

    Break dance. That seems like a cool talent to have. WYR be the only immortal person in the world, or have everyone in the world be immortal except for you?
  17. lonelyace

    Finally Introducing myself here

    Welcome. I will have to check out your webcomic.
  18. lonelyace

    QPR advice please

    Yesterday during a conversation with a friend of mine, aromanticism and queer platonic relationships came up naturally in conversation. She said that if we were both single and alone by the age of 30 we should start a qpr. Sort of like that thing where people say that if they're both single by a certain age they should get married to each other, except she's heterosexual and heteroromantic. I brushed it off because friends say that sort of stuff and never act on it all the time. Today she brought the topic of qpr's up herself, and said that she needed one in her life. I just kinda sat there awkwardly because I didn't know what to say. I've never been in a qpr before, but I think it would be cool, and I wouldn't even mind being in one with her. But, well, I'm not entirely informed on what a qpr entails, and I'm not sure that she'd really want a legitimate partnership of any kind because she's a little bit iffy on all things lgbt+. Still, I feel like she's hinting at me that she might be interested. What should I do?
  19. lonelyace

    Coining a term for affectionate aros

    I came across the term "alterous" a while back, that basically defines attraction that is neither strictly romantic nor strictly platonic. That's a bit of a broad definition that seems like it would differ from person to person, but it might fit what your describing. I saw one person refer to the person you're alterously attracted to as that friend you wouldn't mind dating/doing romance coded things with. I think alterous could probably be used as an orientation alongside romantic and sexual orientations with prefixes added on so you could theoretically be bialterous, heteroalterous, homoalterous, etc. It might be an unnecessary extra label, or it could be a good alternative to the term affectionate that people seem to be having issues with.
  20. lonelyace

    Does aromanticism affect appearance?

    I don't think that my romantic or sexual orientation has anything to do with how I dress. I wear what I wear because it makes me feel more confident, or because I just like it. I suppose that I've dressed in ways that might be considered sexy, I've worn tight dresses and I'm currently wearing bright red lipstick, but it's never been meant to attract a mate. It just happens to be how I like to look.
  21. lonelyace

    Early signs that you were aro

    When I was about 8 a friend of mine had a crush on a guy, and for some reason she thought that walking around with me on her shoulders would impress him. I thought it was the dumbest thing in the world. First of all, why would that impress him, and second, what were they gonna do, ask their parents to take them on play dates? But okay, whatever, I sat on her shoulders. It didn't help her any. When I was in sixth grade my entire grade went to a camp for a couple of days (it was a small school, there were probably only about 40 people in the grade). One of the teachers went around the girl's cabin and asked every single one of us who we liked, and actually noted it on her iPad. When she got to me, I said I didn't like anyone, and no one believed me. They would not leave me alone until I picked someone to say I had a crush on. My freshman year of high school I thought I had a crush on a guy, although in retrospect it's pretty obvious that I just wasn't used to having a squish or whatever on guys. Anyway, I was excited because I finally didn't have to get all evasive whenever my friends asked me who I liked. Then my best friend at the time asked the guy to a school dance. Everyone was enraged on my behalf, like how could she do that, she knows you like him!! I didn't really think it was that big of a deal. If she liked him, she could have him, it wasn't worth ruining a friendship over.
  22. pacific northwest resident here
  23. lonelyace

    Aro playlist

    Romance is Boring by Los Compasinos
  24. lonelyace

    Aromantic Character Headcanons

    Maybe this show is too old, or just not what everyone is watching. It's definitely not what I normally watch, but everyone has heard of the 90's sitcom Friends right? Because I totally headcanon Joey Tribbiani as heterosexual and demi or gray aromantic. I mean, he sleeps with plenty of women, but only seriously dates once in the show's entire 10 year run. That one time, it's with Rachel, whom he'd been friends with for years, and admits to being afraid because this is a completely new feeling for him.
  25. @cruelapril Are we the same person? Because these are my thoughts exactly.