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About Sammy

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    bi ..?

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  1. I haven't heard it yet but I saw somewhere that "You Can't Hurry Love" by The Supremes in a demi anthem of sorts.
  2. Sometimes I'm in first person and I'll look down at my hands and realize that it's not actually me.. like I'll have taken the form of some character from a tv show I'm binging at the moment. Most of the time I have full senses, which is especially weird because I'll be able to smell things like cooking pasta or coffee and be confused when I wake up and there is no pasta or coffee. I want to learn to lucid dream. I know that in my dreams whatever I'm looking at is clear but my peripheral vision is super cloudy. Have any of you died in a dream? Because I had a dream where I got shot point-blank to the heart and I remember falling to the ground and seeing my blood pool before my vision faded?? And then I emerged as a ghost and saw my body in third person and it was a surreal experience.
  3. I used to think relationships were cool but with any little problem that could arise it felt like too much work. I felt like the only point to dating was to find someone to get married to and I really didn't feel like going through trial-and-error. Turns out people date even without marriage in mind?? I would forget about crushes and boyfriends up until someone would ask "who do you have a crush on". It seems like allo people constantly have a crush on someone. I thought I had a crush on this one guy and someone asked if I liked him and I immediately felt embarrassed and repulsed and not in the way that would imply I had a crush on him. I didn't understand the big deal with crushes because with all my "crushes" I just wanted to impress the person with jokes and stuff. I didn't understand how other people could blush and stutter and mess up. Fictional kisses were cool but whenever I tried to imagine myself kissing someone (even my supposed "crushes" lmao) I got bored and a little disgusted with the fact that people willingly exchange saliva. When I was like 9 I think I actually screamed at the radio for playing the same love songs over and over again because they were so boring. I thought crushes were supposed to just be admired because I didn't understand why people would want to date someone they know they'd be over in like 2 months why even bother? Crushes were just people who were aesthetically attractive or fun to talk to.
  4. there should be optional notifications (or at least any notifications) for the chatbox
  5. I'm bilingual in English and Spanish, and I've been trying to learn ASL and Italian. Soy bilingual en ingles y espaƱol, y e estado tratando de aprender ASL y italiano. (my Spanish is a little worse than my English but I've been trying) Same! I started learning polish and then tried to learn Italian at the same time and now I end up mixing words for the two of them. I've given up on polish for now because it's difficult but occasionally I like to revisit it and in the future I might try to pick it up again.
  6. To elementary school me, you don't have to make up crushes on people just to fit in, just go ahead and enjoy yourself. To middle school me, the reason you're so confused about this girl is because you have a Giant Squish on her oh my god. To (now) high school me, trust yourself and your feelings, don't try and be something you're not.
  7. I wear an aro ring (white ring on the left middle finger) and I regularly draw arrows onto my fingers so that I can say "straight as an aro" and then bend my finger (hilarious I know) I would like something more recognizable, though, because I've talked to a lot of people and not that many people know about the rings. I might buy myself some aromantic merch so that's it's blunt to anybody who knows what it means.
  8. If you're asking your friends what crushes are supposed to feel like If you're mis-identifying as bi or pan If you assume everyone is just exaggerating If you don't know how to flirt/don't know when someone's flirting with you If you assume people want romantic relationships because they're like Mega Friendships (I assumed this and was surprised to find out that there's some other element to it)
  9. when I was 12, someone asked me who I had a crush on and I, thinking that it was some pick-and-choose thing, chose a guy I was friends with and who I thought was cool. I kept up the lie for a couple months and eventually "confessed" to him and he said he liked me back and then things were really awkward between us until he moved away 3 weeks later and I felt super relieved. I found the label aromantic but I just assumed that i'd feel something eventually. I planned out a story in which the main character was aroace when I was 13, I realized I felt the same romantically about girls as boys (as in, don't really care) and developed a really strong squish on one of my best friends, so I identified as bisexual for a little while but every time I said so it felt incredibly wrong for me, like stomach-turning wrong. I found the label for a queerplatonic relationship and realized that's exactly what I wanted out of my "crushes" (squishes). i got sick of love songs because "didn't they have anything more interesting to sing about?" I assumed a crush was just really admiring someone, and I didn't understand why people had butterflies or made such a big deal out of it. whenever I imagined myself in a romantic situation it'd always feel platonic somehow, unless it was a candle-lit dinner, in which i'd just feel tense when I was 14, the only situation I imagined for my future was me living with my best friend and taking care of succulents and cats. people said i was lying for not having a crush on anyone. I found the aromantic side of Instagram and read about someone talking about not knowing what crushes were the aro experience and I cried when I realized that's what I was now i'm 15, i've come out to my friends, and there's no stomach-turning wrong-ness, just a sense of relief (sorry for posting twice but also) ok so kids my age are dating and it's really weird to me like why would you subject yourself to hand-holding and why do you feel the need to do pda in the first place
  10. aw nice his songs are some of my favorite but I didn't know he was aro!! I love Hug All ur Friends and I also love This Is Home
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