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Emerald Cheetah

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Everything posted by Emerald Cheetah

  1. That's interesting point you've brought up. I've found that I only experience squishes on women however why? I cannot say. Platonic attraction is a very confusing thing for me just as romantic attraction is confusing for those who experience it. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I experience squishes on the same sex is because I fear getting too close to the opposite sex. Throughout high school, I only had friends who were girls and I found it difficult to befriend guys. They just kept themselves at a distance from me. I always felt that guys only would come close if they wanted to date me. So could I experience a squish on the opposite sex? I have no idea though sometimes I honestly doubt it. Every time I get close to a guy, I start to fear their intentions with me. I've only ever felt close to girls and therefore felt squishes towards some of them.
  2. Happy Friendship Day!! 💚  

    1. The Angel of Eternity

      The Angel of Eternity

      Thank you! I shall have a happy friendship day!!

  3. gave my mom permission to read the first day of my Spain journal and instantly regretted it because I recalled that I had written about my aromanticism in the journal 😬and I believe I mentioned it on the first day too. Luckily I think she just glossed over the term assuming it was some slang since most people have no idea what aromanticism is. This is one of the times that I'm thankful the word is so unknown. 

    1. The Angel of Eternity

      The Angel of Eternity

      I can empathize there. All the skeptical questions would annoy me to bits if that were my mom.

  4. Today while in the car my mom told me about someone's pregnancy announcement and she said something that really triggered me. She said "It's cool that he's found somebody". It's such a simple phrase and perhaps I'm selfish for feeling this way because I should be happy for the couple but when she said that, I felt all kinds of hurt. I felt once again like I was going to be lonely forever, and that statement also reinforced the idea that my mom would not accept me if I told her about me.

  5. I can understand what you mean here. Currently I have my sexuality listed as Asexual and Aegosexual. But before that it said something like "Heterosexual??Asexual?? I don't knowww" and honestly I still don't know. I've never experienced sexual attraction as far as I know but aromanticism is certainly a way bigger part of my identity. Sometimes I wonder if my aromanticism gets in the way of me feeling sexual attraction if I do actually experience it. It's just way too confusing for me! When I went to pride, I bought only aromantic merchandise and no asexual merch. My aromantic identity matters way more to me perhaps because it makes more sense to me than asexuality. I don't experience romantic attraction and I'm fairly certain that I never will. But sexual attraction is a whole bag of tricks that I don't want to get into. So honestly if someone asked me my sexuality I'd probably just say "I'm aromantic" and leave the asexual part out. I'd only ever talk about my confusing sexuality if the topic specifically came up. But to start, I'm just aromantic and that's all people need to know about me unless I should decide to tell them otherwise.
  6. My current plan is just to move somewhere like a city and get a bunch of roommates and live the roommate life. That way, I always have friends around me! Though the problem is finding roommates I enjoy and cherish. I can't just drag my closest friends to an apartment in a city and then secretly hope they never marry so I don't have to see the PDA...Yeah my solution still has some kinks to work out 😅 Maybe if I find some aromantic roommates, now that would be the jackpot! Though almost impossible 😭
  7. I actually agree! I've felt the same way for a long time. Whenever people in the LGBT+ community use this phrase as a way to justify themselves then I do feel quite a bit excluded. I've talked about this in other threads about how aromantics don't really fit into the LGBT+ community because sometimes it seems we don't have anything in common with them (but I still think we belong! This is just a complaint towards the community as a whole). It's a community that just pushes this idea of love and that can be good! But it's not good when you exclude others in your own community. But never do they once defend the idea that it's okay not to love. The aromantics fall by the wayside and aren't in any way reflected in that phrase. ughhh yes. I hate the soulmate stuff. Everytime I see a mention of it, it really irks me. I don't really understand the concept. Of all the 7 billion+ people on this planet, you just happened to come across "the one"?? Puh-leaaasssee. Agreeeeeed. That's the ultimate cringe. People say really weird things when they're in love.
  8. So I had known for awhile that common phrases often push certain beliefs held by society as a whole. And to no one's surprise, there are phrases in support of amatonormativity as well. I've created this thread to see if we, the Arocalypse community, can come up with as many proverbial phrases, sayings, rhymes, and so on that are used today by people in all kinds of situations to push amatonormativity. Here's 2 that I can think of: 1. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage I've known about this one for a long time as it's been said in at least one video on asexuality/aromanticism. It sets out a life path for everyone assuming that you have to fall in love and then it goes even further assuming that you'll get married and have a child! All kinds of assumptions in this rhyme. This isn't a very commonly used saying but I still believe many people hold this belief especially when it comes to parents/grandparents towards their children/grandchildren. 2. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all What a jab at the aro community (and single people too)! Like do I even need to explain this. I was listening to a song and someone said this and I was just like "no" *turns off song* What else can you guys think of?? There must be more that I just can't think of at the moment.
  9. @eOrion yeah, the only way I can post it is by dragging it from my gmail since I sent the picture from my phone to my computer and I worry it might be blocking people out. I tried it again, how about now? Thanks for telling me! Edit: I converted the image from my phone into a URL. I really hope this worked! I usually don't go onto Arocalypse from my phone but desperate times call for desperate measures.
  10. So I went to Spain in June, and while I was there I came across this shirt and of course I had to buy it. It just screams aromantic! When my mom saw me wearing it, she was like "ok?" but, honestly I'm just happy to have come across something that didn't have amatonormativity written all over it. (if the file isn't viewable, please tell me, thanks!) https://postimg.cc/7fvccCc0
  11. On May 28th, everyone at my college got their room assignments as well as their college roommates and I was soooooo excited. I got assigned to this girl who was majoring in Meteorology. This was something I had long awaited and even though I hadn't met her, it was like a first step towards friendship to me. or towards enemy...ship...whatever you call that. But I really hoped we would become friends in August when we went to college! I'm not sure if most people pack this much hope into their college roommates but I was extremely hopeful that we'd become close friends. However today I went back on to Access Plus (the site that gave me all that important info) and her name was gone. She had left our room and gone to another residence hall. Most people probably wouldn't have cared but I actually kind of felt a pang in my chest and couldn't believe that she would leave. Well actually I totally understand. There are better residence halls closer to campus but it still hurt. I had so many high hopes all ending in friendship and they just came crashing down. Is this what the squish equivalent of heart break feels like??

    1. Ace of Amethysts

      Ace of Amethysts

      I feel your pain. 😟

  12. It's definitely difficult when you have different views than the people around you. I'm the only person in my immediate family with my political leanings while my brother, mom, and dad all lean the other way. It makes it very difficult for me. Just last night both my mom and I heard vaguely about some taxing policy that had to do with transgenders and both me and my mom had different opinions on it. We didn't have the full story though so I didn't want to say much about it. I can tell my mom doesn't really understand trans people. She mentioned them getting surgeries and acted like they weren't really a big deal but they are to the person getting them. I feel like she's the kind of person who says she accepts the community but she hides her discriminatory thoughts and feelings behind other justifications and whatnot. Honestly my family are the type of people who try to justify why Trump has banned Transgenders from the military but still say they accept the LGBT community. It's weird. Honestly I have those same fears. I'm probably gonna just keep it a secret until sometime in the future my mom ends up questioning why I haven't gotten a boyfriend or husband yet. And then I'll just spill the beans at that point. I don't really like bringing up my Aromanticism unless the conversation calls for it. Some of my friends know now (I honestly don't know which ones know because of how I have the tendency to mention it off hand at random times) but my friends tend to be more accepting. It was just that one friend that didn't accept me as well.
  13. Wow this is literally the exact same thing I just went through with my bi friend who wouldn't accept me for being aromantic either. I made a post about it on here earlier and it follows a similar story however it's not as extreme. My friend didn't think it was a My mental disorder just that it was because I was socially awkward. hmmmmm what an odd coincidence that both the people who don't accept us are bisexual. You'd think our own community would be more accepting of us but sometimes that's just not the case. I understand your pain though. I haven't exactly told my parents because I don't think my mom would understand. I know she hopes that I'll marry a guy someday and it hurts that she thinks that. She's says she supports the LGBT community, she's just against me being LGBT. My only advice would be to hold out until you can be free from your friends and family. I don't know how long that will be. I'll be going to college very soon so I can wait. If you can too, then you'll find people who will accept you for who you are and it will get better. It will also be easier to tell your family when you're not living under their roof. This isn't the perfect solution, I know, but if it's not safe to come out than don't. However if you can do it, and if you think you can convince them or make a difference, than do it, but be careful.
  14. I came really close to being in my first relationship when someone asked me out but a few hours later I broke it off due to the stress (we're still friends and there's no hard feelings. He knows I'm aromantic now.) so I honestly don't count it as a relationship because nobody knows to this day that it ever actually happened. I've just never desired to be in an actual relationship. There was someone else who confessed wanting to be in a relationship with me but it didn't go anywhere and we just stayed friends. Besides that, I've just had friendships and I've never sought out relationships. Ever since I got into junior high and high school, I always saw dating and whatnot as really awkward, and honestly, doomed to fail (or at the very least, something that had a very very small success rate so why even try?)
  15. Played hangman today and I slipped in the words Zucchini and squish because I could. Nobody noticed that I used two Aromantic terms in a row but whatever because I knew 😏

  16. That is an interesting question. I honestly don't know. Though to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm even socially awkward at all. I feel like people tend to misuse the word "Socially awkward" and use it for more situations that it's applicable. The only reason my German friend probably thinks I'm socially awkward is because from what he knows of me (we are online friends) I don't socialize as much as him (ex. I hardly ever go to parties nor do I like going to dances) because I'm very introverted, and I don't like hugging at all. And apparently that makes me socially awkward? However I don't think that's true. I have plenty of friends and I can socialize very well around people at my school despite me being quite different in personality from the other girls my age. I am quite eccentric but people still seem to like me. So I feel like my German friend was just trying to pull problems out of thin air and assign them to me. Reasons that would explain, to him, why I hadn't found the one or reasons why "I" didn't think I needed to find a lover. @nonmerci Perhaps. The first time I was just too shocked to say anything or fight back in any way. All I could do was deny any of his requests for me to date someone and to keep telling him that I don't like dating. I was too surprised to challenge him in any way but if the conversation does come up, I will be more prepared to challenge what he thinks. That's for sure.
  17. @Jot-Aro Kujo Yeah it's really a pain. I feel like I knew already about a lot of these things but I didn't want to think about it at first. I just brushed it to the side and hoped that it wasn't true. Sad to say, With every community I join, I just see more and more injustice. I can't wait to go to college and finally join the aro/ace club that's there. An online community is nice and all but I'd love to get out there and make a difference somehow.
  18. So I had heard about the discrimination that happens in the LGBT+ community. However since I hadn't been identifying as Aro for long, I hadn't experienced this discrimination from anyone, let alone from someone in the community at all yet. Sadly, I just had a run in with this first hand a few weeks ago for the first time. I was talking with my German friend over the phone and he asked me to tell him about something new in my life. I was struggling to tell him something so random so he asked me about my love life. I hadn't really told many people of my Aromanticism, and he's not someone you can take seriously so I told him jokingly that "I don't have a love life". Then when he said that surely there must be someone, I decided to say the "A" word. I said "I'm Aromantic"...He was Bisexual so I thought he would be accepting but then he said " I don't believe you" and that shocked me. I had never experienced this so I didn't know how to respond. All I could say was "Why?". I tried to play it off as he told me things like that I should try dating, or as he asked me if there really is nobody that I would date, or as he suggested I was just socially awkward and not Aromantic but on the inside it was starting to hurt. It hurt even more after the conversation ended. As I reflected on the conversation I realized he had tried to "fix" me. He tried to get me to date. He tried to make me something I'm not, and it was a member of the LGBT+ community that did this! (The only good thing I got out of that is now I'm starting to think I might be asexual too, not heterosexual like I previously thought. but what a way to find that out...definitely not how I'd prefer to) Now that I've experienced this, it is clear that this is a real problem. People think we don't exist. People think there's something wrong with us just as my friend suggested it was my social awkwardness that was the problem (though other worse informed people will suggest things like actual mental illness). And even worse, we are overshadowed in our own community and that has lead even our own peers to believing that we don't exist. I began noticing things I would overlook like how, and I'm sure you guys don't do that here, but when I look through the aromantic hashtag in instagram I'll see posts that deal with asexuality only. There's not a single mention of aromantics except in the hashtag! It's a bit of a pain having to scroll past those nonaromantic posts especially for people who aren't even asexual. It's also hard when some (not all!) alloromantic asexuals will throw aromantics under the bus to be accepted as well by saying things along the line of "Look! I have a partner. I experience love too! There's just no sex involved." Now I know not all Alloromantic Asexuals do this but some do and this is definitely damaging to the Aromantic community. I'm just beginning to notice how different we are from the rest of the LGBT+ community. We are separated from them by a common bond a lot of them share: love. And it's not just a small part of the asexual community that will do it, parts of the LGBT community will do it unknowingly when they argue their case saying that "it's just love." This helps them, but when they've been accepted by others, the aromantic community won't be accepted because those same arguments will be used against us. It hurts us in the long run. Yeah I'm sorry this post is very all over the place! I'm kind of having a crisis. It's just, as other parts of the LGBT community are starting to be accepted, aromantics are struggling to get any recognition at all. We're growing slowly but I'd love to see more progress. But how? How can we make people see us and understand us? After this incident I feel like I'll be more hesitant in the future to come out to, well, anyone!
  19. OMG I FORGOT. FEBRUARY 15th WAS SINGLES AWARENESS DAY. Happy Belated Singles Awareness Day everyone!

    1. aro_elise


      and starting now, the 17th, it's aromantic awareness week!

    2. Emerald Cheetah

      Emerald Cheetah

      Oh darn! I totally forgot about that too!!!!! WOW I'M REALLY TERRIBLE AT THIS

  20. Hi Nix! Welcome to Arocalypse! I've heard of AVEN but I never actually checked it out fully because I found out about Arocalypse first but I can assure you it's nothing like that. If anything, most people here are both aromantic and asexual. Though I identify as Aromantic heterosexual so you'll find a much more diverse community here even if it it's smaller than AVEN.
  21. Last week was a difficult week emotionally. Just randomly, a friend of mine said I was heartless, and not because I'm aro. She doesn't know I'm aromanic really. She said it really casually but it also hurt a lot. I felt like I was being gender stereotyped for once and that hardly ever happens. Just because I'm a girl, doesn't mean I have to express my emotions all the time like society wants me to. I'll express my emotions when I want to and to whom I want to. There were other events where I felt particularly lonely but I think this week will be a better one. 🙂

    1. AutistAro


      Oh geez. This reminds me of that ‘smile! You’re so pretty!’ Thing. Sucks when offhand comments like what your friend said stings. I hope they didn’t mean it. But ey, expressing emotions is tough work dammit! Let’s hope for a better week, friend :D

    2. Tired-Sparo


      yeah it's always the offhand comments that hurt the most. You keep doin you you're awesome the way you are

  22. Hello Anthony! And welcome I'm sure you'll find a lot of friendly and awesome people on here.
  23. Hello and welcome to Arocolypse! Your descriptions sound pretty similar to me. I haven't the slightest idea what romantic attraction feels like though I can see what it does to people. The only time I ever actually tried dating was in 9th grade and I broke it off a few hours later due to anxiety as well. It's normal for aromantics to love the idea of romance and/or to love seeing romance in fiction and nonfiction stories. The only thing that makes one aromantic is just lacking that romantic attraction for themselves. Not to mention, if you have to question what romantic attraction feels like, there's a good chance you're aromantic 🙂 I hope this helped!
  24. sammmme I like the idea of having an eccentric style. Like I have this tiger walking stick that I'll bring to school a couple times during the school year sometimes for basketball games or during homecoming week. It's fun cause I'm the only one with an awesome walking stick and everyone actually loves it. I'd honestly love a cape or cloak but it's not "in style" so I can't get a hold of them in stores. When I can finally get out of the house, I'm definitely gonna by myself a cape online and a bunch of other eccentric stuff.
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