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Emerald Cheetah

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Everything posted by Emerald Cheetah

  1. It's definitely difficult when you have different views than the people around you. I'm the only person in my immediate family with my political leanings while my brother, mom, and dad all lean the other way. It makes it very difficult for me. Just last night both my mom and I heard vaguely about some taxing policy that had to do with transgenders and both me and my mom had different opinions on it. We didn't have the full story though so I didn't want to say much about it. I can tell my mom doesn't really understand trans people. She mentioned them getting surgeries and acted like they weren't really a big deal but they are to the person getting them. I feel like she's the kind of person who says she accepts the community but she hides her discriminatory thoughts and feelings behind other justifications and whatnot. Honestly my family are the type of people who try to justify why Trump has banned Transgenders from the military but still say they accept the LGBT community. It's weird. Honestly I have those same fears. I'm probably gonna just keep it a secret until sometime in the future my mom ends up questioning why I haven't gotten a boyfriend or husband yet. And then I'll just spill the beans at that point. I don't really like bringing up my Aromanticism unless the conversation calls for it. Some of my friends know now (I honestly don't know which ones know because of how I have the tendency to mention it off hand at random times) but my friends tend to be more accepting. It was just that one friend that didn't accept me as well.
  2. Wow this is literally the exact same thing I just went through with my bi friend who wouldn't accept me for being aromantic either. I made a post about it on here earlier and it follows a similar story however it's not as extreme. My friend didn't think it was a My mental disorder just that it was because I was socially awkward. hmmmmm what an odd coincidence that both the people who don't accept us are bisexual. You'd think our own community would be more accepting of us but sometimes that's just not the case. I understand your pain though. I haven't exactly told my parents because I don't think my mom would understand. I know she hopes that I'll marry a guy someday and it hurts that she thinks that. She's says she supports the LGBT community, she's just against me being LGBT. My only advice would be to hold out until you can be free from your friends and family. I don't know how long that will be. I'll be going to college very soon so I can wait. If you can too, then you'll find people who will accept you for who you are and it will get better. It will also be easier to tell your family when you're not living under their roof. This isn't the perfect solution, I know, but if it's not safe to come out than don't. However if you can do it, and if you think you can convince them or make a difference, than do it, but be careful.
  3. I came really close to being in my first relationship when someone asked me out but a few hours later I broke it off due to the stress (we're still friends and there's no hard feelings. He knows I'm aromantic now.) so I honestly don't count it as a relationship because nobody knows to this day that it ever actually happened. I've just never desired to be in an actual relationship. There was someone else who confessed wanting to be in a relationship with me but it didn't go anywhere and we just stayed friends. Besides that, I've just had friendships and I've never sought out relationships. Ever since I got into junior high and high school, I always saw dating and whatnot as really awkward, and honestly, doomed to fail (or at the very least, something that had a very very small success rate so why even try?)
  4. Played hangman today and I slipped in the words Zucchini and squish because I could. Nobody noticed that I used two Aromantic terms in a row but whatever because I knew 😏

  5. That is an interesting question. I honestly don't know. Though to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm even socially awkward at all. I feel like people tend to misuse the word "Socially awkward" and use it for more situations that it's applicable. The only reason my German friend probably thinks I'm socially awkward is because from what he knows of me (we are online friends) I don't socialize as much as him (ex. I hardly ever go to parties nor do I like going to dances) because I'm very introverted, and I don't like hugging at all. And apparently that makes me socially awkward? However I don't think that's true. I have plenty of friends and I can socialize very well around people at my school despite me being quite different in personality from the other girls my age. I am quite eccentric but people still seem to like me. So I feel like my German friend was just trying to pull problems out of thin air and assign them to me. Reasons that would explain, to him, why I hadn't found the one or reasons why "I" didn't think I needed to find a lover. @nonmerci Perhaps. The first time I was just too shocked to say anything or fight back in any way. All I could do was deny any of his requests for me to date someone and to keep telling him that I don't like dating. I was too surprised to challenge him in any way but if the conversation does come up, I will be more prepared to challenge what he thinks. That's for sure.
  6. @Jot-Aro Kujo Yeah it's really a pain. I feel like I knew already about a lot of these things but I didn't want to think about it at first. I just brushed it to the side and hoped that it wasn't true. Sad to say, With every community I join, I just see more and more injustice. I can't wait to go to college and finally join the aro/ace club that's there. An online community is nice and all but I'd love to get out there and make a difference somehow.
  7. So I had heard about the discrimination that happens in the LGBT+ community. However since I hadn't been identifying as Aro for long, I hadn't experienced this discrimination from anyone, let alone from someone in the community at all yet. Sadly, I just had a run in with this first hand a few weeks ago for the first time. I was talking with my German friend over the phone and he asked me to tell him about something new in my life. I was struggling to tell him something so random so he asked me about my love life. I hadn't really told many people of my Aromanticism, and he's not someone you can take seriously so I told him jokingly that "I don't have a love life". Then when he said that surely there must be someone, I decided to say the "A" word. I said "I'm Aromantic"...He was Bisexual so I thought he would be accepting but then he said " I don't believe you" and that shocked me. I had never experienced this so I didn't know how to respond. All I could say was "Why?". I tried to play it off as he told me things like that I should try dating, or as he asked me if there really is nobody that I would date, or as he suggested I was just socially awkward and not Aromantic but on the inside it was starting to hurt. It hurt even more after the conversation ended. As I reflected on the conversation I realized he had tried to "fix" me. He tried to get me to date. He tried to make me something I'm not, and it was a member of the LGBT+ community that did this! (The only good thing I got out of that is now I'm starting to think I might be asexual too, not heterosexual like I previously thought. but what a way to find that out...definitely not how I'd prefer to) Now that I've experienced this, it is clear that this is a real problem. People think we don't exist. People think there's something wrong with us just as my friend suggested it was my social awkwardness that was the problem (though other worse informed people will suggest things like actual mental illness). And even worse, we are overshadowed in our own community and that has lead even our own peers to believing that we don't exist. I began noticing things I would overlook like how, and I'm sure you guys don't do that here, but when I look through the aromantic hashtag in instagram I'll see posts that deal with asexuality only. There's not a single mention of aromantics except in the hashtag! It's a bit of a pain having to scroll past those nonaromantic posts especially for people who aren't even asexual. It's also hard when some (not all!) alloromantic asexuals will throw aromantics under the bus to be accepted as well by saying things along the line of "Look! I have a partner. I experience love too! There's just no sex involved." Now I know not all Alloromantic Asexuals do this but some do and this is definitely damaging to the Aromantic community. I'm just beginning to notice how different we are from the rest of the LGBT+ community. We are separated from them by a common bond a lot of them share: love. And it's not just a small part of the asexual community that will do it, parts of the LGBT community will do it unknowingly when they argue their case saying that "it's just love." This helps them, but when they've been accepted by others, the aromantic community won't be accepted because those same arguments will be used against us. It hurts us in the long run. Yeah I'm sorry this post is very all over the place! I'm kind of having a crisis. It's just, as other parts of the LGBT community are starting to be accepted, aromantics are struggling to get any recognition at all. We're growing slowly but I'd love to see more progress. But how? How can we make people see us and understand us? After this incident I feel like I'll be more hesitant in the future to come out to, well, anyone!
  8. OMG I FORGOT. FEBRUARY 15th WAS SINGLES AWARENESS DAY. Happy Belated Singles Awareness Day everyone!

    1. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      and starting now, the 17th, it's aromantic awareness week!

    2. Emerald Cheetah

      Emerald Cheetah

      Oh darn! I totally forgot about that too!!!!! WOW I'M REALLY TERRIBLE AT THIS

  9. Hi Nix! Welcome to Arocalypse! I've heard of AVEN but I never actually checked it out fully because I found out about Arocalypse first but I can assure you it's nothing like that. If anything, most people here are both aromantic and asexual. Though I identify as Aromantic heterosexual so you'll find a much more diverse community here even if it it's smaller than AVEN.
  10. Last week was a difficult week emotionally. Just randomly, a friend of mine said I was heartless, and not because I'm aro. She doesn't know I'm aromanic really. She said it really casually but it also hurt a lot. I felt like I was being gender stereotyped for once and that hardly ever happens. Just because I'm a girl, doesn't mean I have to express my emotions all the time like society wants me to. I'll express my emotions when I want to and to whom I want to. There were other events where I felt particularly lonely but I think this week will be a better one. 🙂

    1. AutistAro

      AutistAro

      Oh geez. This reminds me of that ‘smile! You’re so pretty!’ Thing. Sucks when offhand comments like what your friend said stings. I hope they didn’t mean it. But ey, expressing emotions is tough work dammit! Let’s hope for a better week, friend :D

    2. Tired-Sparo

      Tired-Sparo

      yeah it's always the offhand comments that hurt the most. You keep doin you you're awesome the way you are

  11. Hello Anthony! And welcome I'm sure you'll find a lot of friendly and awesome people on here.
  12. Hello and welcome to Arocolypse! Your descriptions sound pretty similar to me. I haven't the slightest idea what romantic attraction feels like though I can see what it does to people. The only time I ever actually tried dating was in 9th grade and I broke it off a few hours later due to anxiety as well. It's normal for aromantics to love the idea of romance and/or to love seeing romance in fiction and nonfiction stories. The only thing that makes one aromantic is just lacking that romantic attraction for themselves. Not to mention, if you have to question what romantic attraction feels like, there's a good chance you're aromantic 🙂 I hope this helped!
  13. sammmme I like the idea of having an eccentric style. Like I have this tiger walking stick that I'll bring to school a couple times during the school year sometimes for basketball games or during homecoming week. It's fun cause I'm the only one with an awesome walking stick and everyone actually loves it. I'd honestly love a cape or cloak but it's not "in style" so I can't get a hold of them in stores. When I can finally get out of the house, I'm definitely gonna by myself a cape online and a bunch of other eccentric stuff.
  14. @DeltaV Yes!!!! I agree 100%!!! I find showering to be quite a chore so I don't shower everyday. I aim for every other day, but some weeks that just doesn't happen. When I went to Cross Country Camp with some of my classmates, the topic of showering obviously came up. I had showered the day before and when I showed no desire to shower that night, some of them were grossed out and I felt so embarrassed. They would be surprised how much just changing clothes and brushing one's hair can do to make one feel cleaner without ever actually taking a shower (but of course, I didn't tell them that because they wouldn't have believed me and I would've grossed them out even more...). Yeah, I was definitely such a misfit among the 4 other girls with me, my showering preferences being one of the many reasons why. Man, sometimes I can't help but hate societal expectations.
  15. Hello Eva and welcome to Arocalypse! I'm gonna be honest, this isn't a question that can be easily answered. Not to mention, I actually have quite the opposite problem! I know I'm Aromantic, but I'm confused on whether I'm Asexual, Heterosexual, or somewhere in between. I'm not sure if you've seen, but there is actually an entire list of romantic orientations on Arocalypse: Perhaps you'll find that you can relate a lot to one of the descriptions. One thing that makes this difficult is that there are many types of Aromantics. There are Aromantics that like cuddling and there are Aromantics that hate cuddling (like me!). There are Aromantics that love romance movies while other Aromantics hate them. The only thing that makes someone aromantic is if they just don't experience that romantic attraction and from what you've described, it doesn't sound like you do. I've seen a lot of stories on here where aromantics have been in relationships for months or even years before they realized that they were never really romantically attracted to the other person at all. It's normal because we grow up thinking that we need to find "the one" and that can lead to us misinterpreting our feelings towards another person as something romantic. I probably didn't answer everything but I hope I was able to help 🙂
  16. Hello! Based on your description I'd say you're aromantic. I'm also romance repulsed so I can relate to some of what you said. However I wouldn't be able to say whether or not you're demisexual because I'm also quite confused where I stand in terms of sexuality. I identify as heterosexual but it's not as clear as my aromanticism. Sure, I have sexual "desire" but I've never experienced sexual "attraction" towards anyone (at least not that I know of). Hopefully someone else can drop by and give you their opinion on the sexuality portion because I honestly can't answer that one.
  17. I honestly don't know if I can ever remember having a dream that wasn't in first person. In most of my dreams the only senses I have are sight and sound (or sometimes just sight). Other times I have the sense of touch as well but when touch is involved it usually has to deal with pain. I can remember having a dream where I was sitting in the stands and all of a sudden I could feel my teeth twisting in my mouth like they were being pulled out (And I don't think I even woke up immediately after some of my teeth fell out). It was seriously painful but most of the time with my dreams, the sense of touch isn't that extreme.
  18. Yeah I definitely don't want to have kids either because the thought of those 9 torturous months and the fact that I'd have somebody who's dependent on me kind of ruins the whole thought for me. The "Genetic Guilt" you're mentioning makes sense. After all, it's only natural since the survival of our species depends on procreation. However at the end of the day, I look at the pros and cons, and having kids seems to have more cons in for me. However, the best solution that I can think of to such a problem is adoption. The child may not be your blood but they will still, in a sense, be a continuation of your family. They will become a part of your family tree. Not to mention, it's a great service because there are far too many children who never get adopted and never get to know what it's like to have a mother or father.
  19. I just read a post on Instagram that says "Imagine a boy that stares at you and smiles even when you aren't looking because he's so in love with you."  My first thought was: "Uhhhh, CREEPY!" 😖 I'd be so uncomfortable! I read the comments to see if anyone agreed with me and all of them were "I wish"  and "if only" type comments. 

    1. Jot-Aro Kujo

      Jot-Aro Kujo

      Geez, yeah, yikes. That's creepy as hell...

    2. Zorcodtoa
    3. Nikola

      Nikola

      ^ ....oh same

  20. YES! Exactly! I've always had a similar question but mine is more along the lines of "why can't girls and guys just be friends?" because I've had very few guy friends in my life and I feel like it's impossible to form any close relationship with a dude without it all of a sudden becoming "romance". But yes, I definitely agree with still being friends if dating isn't an option. I think it really depends on the person. Some people seem to think that friendship isn't really important and that romantic love is all the matters so I'm not surprised that there are people who would do that. Especially since being friendzoned is apparently sooooo horrible. However this belief is probably due to a variety of factors including the media's portrayal of love, and our personalities, etc. etc. It's honestly a shame that people underappreciate the value of friendship but it just happens. From what I've heard, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You just happen to be different from the norm and therefore less people can understand your point of view. I was actually talking about this in my advanced English class today. We were talking about how people, nowadays, tend to fight over right and wrong without ever trying to understand the other person's point of view. It happens all the time, like when someone complains about how bad their day was and then it becomes a competition about who had the worst day. Like Seriously? It's kind of sad. But I don't think you should have anything to be ashamed of. I don't know the specifics of how it all happened, but it sounds like they refused to understand your point of view and when that happens, it's a lost cause. Being yourself in this world is hard when everyone seems to judge one another harshly for their differences but trust me, being someone you're not will only spell disaster. If people can't accept the real you, then they don't deserve to be apart of your life. That's how I see it anyways. It may hurt at first, but in the long run, you'll reap the benefits and find people who truly understand you.
  21. I agree that losing a friend can be just as painful but I'd actually go as far as to say that it can often be more painful that breaking up with a romantic partner. I may have never dated before but I know what it's like to lose a best friend and that hurts more than anything because you feel like the one person you would first turn to is gone. Whereas if you breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you always have your friends to fall back on and they'll agree with you saying "yeah he/she was such a jerk." and "We're here for you." But when you lose a friend, picking sides is not a good option because chances are your friends are still friends with your ex-friend. So basically you have nobody to fall back to except for people who are completely removed from the situation such as a parent or a long-distance friend. Not to mention we're always taught when we're younger that boys come and go, but friends are forever. We are lead to falsely believe that we'll always have out friends but when we actually lose one, we are taken completely by surprise. You never go into a friendship thinking that it will end as violently as a relationship breakup but it can happen. Wow, that must be harsh. I have quite the opposite situation. I've only had one dude at my school ask me out and when that ship never sailed, we were still friends. Okay, I actually did have someone else kind of admit to having liked me but we were still friends there too. So I guess, the amount of secret admirers is completely unknown but I certainly don't gain as much attention because I don't care about keeping up good looks with makeup nor do I have an outgoing personality that attracts attention. I'm a very unconventional person. Perhaps if you make the fact that you're aromantic more well-known, it will prevent most of these problems?
  22. wow. Either there are a lot of nonreligious people in Arocolypse, or the nonreligious just realllly gravitate towards religion-themed posts. I'm willing to wager it's a little bit of both. @DeltaV There was another thread like this? awwww I wish I could've been there to see the flames spread. But yeah it's understandable that religion is one of those topics that can get out of hand really fast. As long as people don't put too much opinion into their posts, it should be fine! However it's very hard, if not impossible, to keep opinions out as most people feel very strongly on such a topic (including me). So yeah, the conditions are very good for this thread to become a fire-y one. Let's hope it doesn't! I'm almost thinking of making an individual thread for atheists since there's more here than I originally thought.
  23. Yeah I understand. Perhaps we could talk about this privately instead? I know a lot of the non-religious aren't all the same when it comes to their lack of belief. Some are repulsed, some aren't. Though I tend to use the description of atheist more, because I see it as an umbrella term that a lot of people can understand better than other terms like agnostic, humanist, etc. etc. I include agnostic in there because it's not well understood that agnostic defines knowledge, but not belief. That's why I'm an agnostic atheist, because both labels convey two different meanings. I'm agnostic because I feel there's no verifiable way to prove that a god or gods exist. But I'm also an atheist because I choose not to believe in any particular god.
  24. Hello and Welcome to Arocalypse! Based on what you've said, I would definitely say you're aromantic. Before I figured out I was aromantic, I always told myself that I'd find that special someone in college or after college and that now wasn't the right time. However, I now know that I was just stalling with those far out deadlines. It's perfectly normal to be aromantic but like romance movies. Some aromantics like reading romance novels, and hearing about other people's relationships while other aromantics don't. I personally don't like romance movies (I'm romance repulsed) but I know there's many aros that do. After all it's not about the concept of romance, but about whether or not you feel romantic attraction towards other people. I think you should probably tell this guy sooner than later because the longer you wait, the more harm that could be caused. Just explain to him, how you've always felt about dating. It might be hard for him to understand but if he's a good dude, he'll respect you for it. 🙂
  25. Nice. I've never met an eclectic pagan before! It's cool that your parents didn't force anything on you. I really wish more parents did that nowadays. Before I got confirmed (yup, there was no escaping it), my Youth Group took us to multiple churches and temples nearby. I got to see a hindu temple, a Sikh temple, etc. It was really cool. Awareness of other religions and cultures is super important and I like that Religions aren't being so exclusive anymore. Though the United States (where I live) still has a long way to go towards complete acceptance. Hello fellow atheist 👋 I'm glad you're Catholic school is accepting of who you are. It gives me a little more hope for humanity when we can accept those who are different.
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