Somewhat of a sad rant coming up. Trigger warning for some self-deprecating language as a result of other people reacting to me being aro. Foreword, I love being aro, and I'm happy to finally know what I am. But dealing with people's reaction to it is still a struggle. (First post here, please let me know if venting posts like this need to go elsewhere or should be taken down!)
What being aro feels like for me right now:
Forever friend zoning people and having that feeling that all the things they've done for you up til that point that you thought was done willingly actually came at a price you didn't know you had to pay. And then once they reach a breaking point because you haven't returned the same amount of gesture, even if you've been vulnerable and supportive and is otherwise a good friend, suddenly all the things they do for you is revoked even though you were under the impression that you were reciprocating via friendship. Suddenly you're Insensitive. Even though all the criteria has been the same from your end, and you thought the friendship was mutual. And then losing a friend even though you were just.... Making a friend.
And that creeping thought that they only did those things because they were romantically interested, which in my head has zero value, which makes me feel like I'm not worth being nice to unless I am being romanced, which I don't place any value in. And when I complain about getting too much romantic attention I get told I'm not appreciating people liking me. Even though people liking me has always only ended up with me hurt and losing a friend. Even though people liking me romantically has always only meant that my existence alone caused people pain.
And then no one understands why you're going through just as much pain as they are. Because their heartbreak is romantic and therefore will always, ALWAYS, be prioritized over any other heartache. Even the allies instinctively do not question that of course the alloromantic is suffering more. Further confirming that being aro just means I'm broken because I think my friendship heartbreak is just as painful as someone's romance heartbreak.
TL;DR for some reason I attract a lot of romantic attention and contrary to popular opinion it makes me feel worthless.