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Tagor

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About Tagor

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    male
  • Romanticism
    aro (I think?)
  • Sexuality
    heterosexual

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  1. Hell, I'd be glad if I could express feelings, but that's another topic entirely πŸ™ƒ
  2. I think emotional vulnerability is a concept which is exclusive to romantic relationships. Although there doesn't seem a clear cut definiton, "emotional vulnerability" seems to mean the action of telling someone things he or she could use against you thereby showing your trust that they wont do that. This can be in the context of a romantic relationship as well as a friendship. But I think it is used in a romantic context more often as being emotionally vulnerable seems to be in the "core package" of a romantic relationships whereas it seems to be an "add-on" to friendships. At the same time, as far as I understand, being in love can seriously cloud your judgement about somebody while at the same time making you more vulnerable to somebody being an asshole. This, together with being forced into telling things about you due to conventions etc. might lead to more damage being done in romantic relationships than friendships, generating more awareness for emotional vulnerability in romantic relationships.
  3. In German it's even worse, as the word "Freund(in)" can be used to mean both romantic partner and friend. The difference can only be expressed through pronouns (you would say "das ist meine Freundin" for "this is my girlfriend" and "das ist eine Freundin" for this is a friend (who happens to be female)). However, this is often confusing.
  4. Adding to what was already said: Even if this was just because you're too young (which I don't think), there's no damage in identifying as aromantic. I've heard that you tend to notice if you've got a crush on somebody, so even if you are wrong you'll notice once it becomes relevant.
  5. I know this isn't exactly helpful, but you'll have to decide for yourself. I get something kind of like this sometimes, but the question mark next to my romantic orientation is there for a reason. And as always, aromanticism is a spectrum, it might just be that we experience romantic attraction sometimes with it being too weak to notice (or separate it from platonic/aesthetic attraction) it most of the time.
  6. 1859 Well, I don't think there are many people left still counting who were here when this game was started, so the individual attention span doesn't need to be high
  7. That's what I do too. Even if I can't experience romance first hand, I still want to (try to) understand it. The only way to do this is through second hand experience.
  8. Technically, I'm out to all my WhatsApp contacts as I once encoded an aomantic flag in Base64, represented it in Binary and sent a picture of this as a WhatsApp status. But I don't think anyone bothered to decode this. Effectively, I'm out to most of my friends as I tend to mention it if the topic comes up. I haven't come out to my family, as I wouldn't know when and how to approach the topic and it doesn't really matter as I'm young enough that being single isn't uncommon.
  9. I've had the similar experiences. I used to pick a girl I thought I would get along with and then decide that I had a crush on them (I didn't know what I did this back then). But due to being completely socially inept I never did anything about it.
  10. Just wanted to say that I can really relate to this
  11. I generally agree that romantic love neurologically has a lot of things in comon with drugs - that's why drugs work: they use the same reward systems also used by romantic love. I think the main reason for the lower birth rates in developed countries is that people see that children hurt their career and decide against them instead of children being a major insurance in undeveoped countries. People are still in relationships/mariages, they just don't get kids anymore. In my opinion, romantic love was biologically necessary in early human evolution, as it was nearly impossible to raise a child alone. It also prevented STDs from spreading. As said above, being obsessed with each other until the child is somehow autonomous wasn't that bad. Unfortunately, most friendships don't have that kind of commitment. Another question is if it is really better for your mental health to ignore your romantic attraction than to act on it. As in my experience, there are more aros with mental illnesses such as depression than in the general public, this doesn't seem to be the case (but I don't have any numbers on that). I think many alloromantics would say that romantic relationships ARE a need, but as I'm aro I don't know.
  12. I'd describe myself as not romance repulsed/romance indifferent or favourable and ticked the "open for romance" option. If somebody I knew and thought I was compatible with wanted to have a romantic relationship with me, I'd say that I'm aromantic as a disclaimer but at least try it if they're ok with that. However, I don't have much experience with somebody having a crush on me, so this might just be a lack of experience.
  13. There are more things wrong with aromanticism on wikipedia, and they have been a topic here, but I donΓ„t think anybody has changed anything yet
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