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Tagor

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About Tagor

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    male
  • Romanticism
    aro (I think?)
  • Sexuality
    heterosexual

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  1. Just wanted to say that I can really relate to this
  2. I generally agree that romantic love neurologically has a lot of things in comon with drugs - that's why drugs work: they use the same reward systems also used by romantic love. I think the main reason for the lower birth rates in developed countries is that people see that children hurt their career and decide against them instead of children being a major insurance in undeveoped countries. People are still in relationships/mariages, they just don't get kids anymore. In my opinion, romantic love was biologically necessary in early human evolution, as it was nearly impossible to raise a child alone. It also prevented STDs from spreading. As said above, being obsessed with each other until the child is somehow autonomous wasn't that bad. Unfortunately, most friendships don't have that kind of commitment. Another question is if it is really better for your mental health to ignore your romantic attraction than to act on it. As in my experience, there are more aros with mental illnesses such as depression than in the general public, this doesn't seem to be the case (but I don't have any numbers on that). I think many alloromantics would say that romantic relationships ARE a need, but as I'm aro I don't know.
  3. I'd describe myself as not romance repulsed/romance indifferent or favourable and ticked the "open for romance" option. If somebody I knew and thought I was compatible with wanted to have a romantic relationship with me, I'd say that I'm aromantic as a disclaimer but at least try it if they're ok with that. However, I don't have much experience with somebody having a crush on me, so this might just be a lack of experience.
  4. There are more things wrong with aromanticism on wikipedia, and they have been a topic here, but I donÄt think anybody has changed anything yet
  5. In my opinion, the rarely used terms do have a reason to exist as they can be useful when discussion inside one community/on one site. I for example identify broadly as aromantic, but if I talked about it with someone I would specify it to be romance indifferent aro/cupioromatic. In order to prevent keeping old labels alive I think the best option would be to make it standard to include (often used synonymous to .... ) and (rarely used) in the discription. I'm not a fan of an asterisk as this seems to be quite black and white and depends on the glossary being up to date all the time.
  6. I don't think people read "Asexual and Aromantic" as "Asexual AND Aromantic" (At least I wouldn't). But I think "Liverpool and Wirral Asexual and Aromantic Social" is too long as a name and the two "ands" sound strange. I personally would only include the city you meet in in the name. If I searched an aromantics group in my area I would try all the major citys in my area. It would also help if you just include one post on the website etc. where all the names of cities around are listed so it shows up with the search results. But this might not even be becessary, as google is quite good with showing search results from other cities even if they don't match the search query exactly. I think I would go with " Liverpool (area) Asexual and Aromantic Social", but I don't have any experience with any of this. This is just personal preference.
  7. The arodynamics discord-server ( https://discord.gg/PrXA5H4 ) is a bit smaler than the arocalypse server. There are also a bunch of other servers "in orbit" around the arocalypse server, which are even smaler. I'm sure if you ask in the arocalypse server you'll get the invite links. I don't think another server is of much use, as in just fractures the community. I personally am in 4 aro servers and just don't have the time to check regularly them all.
  8. If you don't already know, there also is a (semi-official) arocalypse discord server, explained in this thread:
  9. I'm in a similar position and I personally just don't really care if I "count" as aromantic. It's so hard to define romantic attraction (we tried it in this post) that I can't ever know that i don't experience it. If I one day feel something I recognize as romantic attraction I know I'm not aromantic but up to that point I'll just label as (questioning) aromantic. However, this might be easier for me than for others as me being a male nerd with bad conversation skills severely limits the odds of somebody falling in love with me and thus the chance of having to handle difficult situations. (Right now my contingency plan for somebody falling in love with me is to tell her that I'm probably aromantic and then (if I think it could work) ask if she still wants a relationship (I've got a pretty high romance tolerance, so it might work)). But deciding whether one is aromantic is something everybody has to figure out for themselves as only you know what you feel.
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