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About JetSettingAro

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  1. JetSettingAro

    How to find companionship for life?

    I'm not sure what your experience is, but I have noticed that couples only like to talk to other couples. Our so called "friends" treat us like we are diseased and avoid us like the plague, especially once they get married and have kids. At that point, if you can't talk about couples and parenting stuff then you are a worthless to them. Ditto the thought. 😁 I mean you barely know this person, you met them last week and they are somehow already your "soulmate". Bizzare. No wonder so many marriages end in divorce. It takes years to learn the ins and outs of another person, not a week. I like that you call dating a "culturally ritualized" practice. It is somehow so ingrained into our society that if we don't date then we are somehow broken, or worse "hiding something". It used to be that people married for non-romantic reasons, but now nobody seems to do that anymore. Romance and sex are everything, and as has been noted, it is difficult in our society to have one without the other.
  2. JetSettingAro

    How to find companionship for life?

    I agree with you 100%. I am actually happy being alone to an extent, especially since that means that I don't have to partake in romantic relationships, but it is a lonely road. I get jealous of the close friendship that many couples have, and I wish I could find a deep permanent friendship like they have. The truth is that I have built many close friendships throughout my life, but invariably those friendships wither away once the other party gets into a serious romantic/sexual relationship with someone else. I am incapable of building a deep relationship that doesn't start as a friendship...so conventional dating is out of the question. As you say, dating really is a concept that I can't wrap my head around. Its like society has erected this barrier to keep those of us who don't follow normative romantic conventions out of their club.
  3. JetSettingAro

    Trying to Figure Out Who I Am

    Thank you everyone for the welcome (and ice cream @Spirit of God)! I am definitely starting to dig into the vocabulary and as you say @Powder I can't seem to peg my aro-spec down to any of the specific labels. Maybe demi, but that doesn't necessarily seem right to me, I have built plenty of close friendships in my time and never felt or wanted them to evolve into anything romantic. Having now read about qp relationships I think they are something that I would be very open to! I would also be interested in developing a very deep "aromate" friendship with someone (which I take it is an advanced version of a qp relationship), but I think the chances of finding a deep platonic partnership like that is going to be pretty hard. 😅 As for sexual orientation, I assume I am heterosexual as I have always been sexually attracted to the opposite sex, but it is kind of hard to say. Basically I have been ostracized by others my entire life for not having romantic inclinations, and at many times I have been downright bullied, humiliated and shunned by my peers for being who I am, so I have always kind of been lost and adrift on these matters. This is the first time I have ever spoken about my feelings with anybody besides a couple of counselors, it actually feels really refreshing! I feel like I can finally breathe. If anyone has any other advice for me as a newly discovered aromatic, I am very open to listening!
  4. JetSettingAro

    Christianity and Aromanticism

    This is an interesting thread. Here is the thing... Many modern Christians especially in Western Countries have this notion that you need to be in love to be happy, and that you need to get married at a young age with your "soulmate" and start popping out babies. I see this at play especially in conservative Protestant and Catholic circles, and my own Christian church. If you don't follow this path, people will either think something is wrong with you or they will feel bad for you and tell you that you will find "true love" soon. The thing is, in Medieval Christian Europe and before that in the Roman Empire...Christians rarely married for love and most marriages were arranged. All these modern notions of true love, and soulmates that have infiltrated Christianity are actually unorthodox when it comes to Christianity. So in many ways, an aro or ace Christian is behaving more on par with historic Christian morals than their peers in this regard.
  5. Hello Arocalypse members, nice to meet ya! I am a university student/student teacher who has recently come to the conclusion that I am aromantic, I barely understand what type of aromantic (all of this world is still very foreign to me), but I know that I am somewhere on the spectrum. Real briefly, I have never been romantically attracted to anybody my entire life. I have had no desire to kiss, to hold hands, to go on dates, to show or have any kinds of PDA (or private displays of affection for that matter). I started to realize that there was something different about me about 4 or 5 years ago when I was entering into my early twenties and still had never had any kind of a romantic relationship. I went and sought counseling at my school's counseling office, and the psychologist thought that I might be an Ace...and gave me a brochure on it. It was my first time ever hearing of asexuality, but I knew that I wasn't an ace...I do have sexual attraction to others, just not any romantic attraction. In fact I would love to get married and have a family, but it would have to be a platonic marriage built on close friendship and understanding because I don't think I could handle a romantic one. Fast forward, a couple of months ago I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said "Aro Pride" and I looked it up out of curiosity. Instantly I knew I was an Aro, but it took time to process it. So now here I am! I am hoping to learn more from all of you, and hopefully it will help me to understand myself more as well. Cheers, JSA