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Tired-Sparo

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About Tired-Sparo

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday October 27

Personal Information

  • Name
    Nicole
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She/her
  • Location
    Hot as hell Florida
  • Occupation
    College
  • Romanticism
    Greyromantic
  • Sexuality
    Bisexual

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  1. I havent had much experience trying to explain it to someone not part of the LGBT+ community in some aspect but usually before i try to explain it at all i ask if they know what aromantic means. Ive only ever had one person fully know (cuz they had researched the community when they thought they might be aro) but most often i encounter people that say "sort of. isnt it like-" and then theyll give whatever half definition they have. I like doing it this way cuz its generally less work in that they have a vague understanding and then you can be like yeah thats sort of right and then add a bit of info to clear up their definition. It can also sometimes turn into an interesting convo where they might ask a few questions to get a clearer understanding and i might explain some of my personal experiences/feelings/views on things in relation to my aromanticism.
  2. So ive discovered a lot about myself the past few weeks and thats been interesting. i think i finally know what a crush/romantic attraction feels like so thats one thing. i not too long ago realized im greyromantic and also recently got a boyfriend. so i was telling my best friend how i was feeling in relation to him and she goes yeah thats what romantic attraction is dude and i was like that john mulaney meme oh okay i see now. it was also funny cuz my friend was like not to invalidate your feelings but out of curiosity do you think youre aro or you think youve just been repressing your emotions a lot? and i was like lol nah im still greyaro cuz me and my bf were talking about childhood crushes on tv ppl and i was like yeah i had to ask my friend if that was normal when i was a kid cuz i didnt have that lmao. so im interested to see what else i learn about my aromanticism and myself in general

  3. Thanks so much. Yeah what your friend did was definitely a bitchy thing to do. If they had already created separation between them and their friends that would be one thing but to drop everyone with no warning is another. I wouldnt make the first move to talk to them again either. Coincidentally thats similar to how i lost another friend last year. She suddenly got mad over random things in our friendship that had never bothered her before (i knew her for ten years) and then she didnt tell me she was mad about anything she just ignored me and was petty. Then she cut all contact.
  4. Totodile and bulbasaur because i cant pick between the two
  5. Yeah i have support from another close friend and my family so its made it a bit easier but they live in difference cities than me cuz im in college so sometimes its a but hard but im lucky i have that support and ive made a few new friends so slowly but surely things are getting better i think. Once summer hits and i can put more distance between friend 2 and myself i think ill feel better.
  6. Trigger warning: mention of self harm/suicide I say a lot but my close friend group was pretty small to begin with. I had about 4 close friends and i lost two of them lets call them friend 1 and friend 2. So friend 1 was treating me and friend two like therapists and we confronted friend 1 and said hey you cant do this and then we proceeded to provide friend 1 with support and an abbundance of mental health resources that we offered to go with them too. Fast forward a bit and friend 1 is still treating us like therapists so im pretty worn out mentally and we (friend 1 and i) were having a serious convo because they were having some problems again that they really needed to talk to their parents (which we also encouraged them to talk to) and some mental health professionals about. Friend 1 told me they had been moments from killing themself and that they might have done it if i hadnt comforted them when i did. That scared me especially because they had mentioned being suicidal before but this is the closest id ever known them to getting to that point and so i decided friend 1 should be baker acted. In my state baker acting is when if you think someone is a danger to themself or others you can call to have them get taken to a mental health facility and they hold you there for 3 days minimum while you get help. So friend 1 obviously didnt like that (i didnt expect them to) and friend 2 disagreed with my decision too. They somehow couldnt grasp the fact that telling someone that you were moments from suicide is a large cause for concern that i think called for some form of action because friend 1 refused to get help after we had offered resources and offered to go with her for months. It didnt really matter that i had called anyways becasue they didnt end up taking her to the mental heatlh facility. The way my state does baker acting isnt exactly the best because its cops that come pick you up and they just ask are you suicidal right now? And friend 1 said no so they didnt take her. So as far as i know friend 1 still hasnt gotten help and i havent cut myself off enirely cuz i dont want them committing suicide but i also dont really talk to them much anymore either for my own mental health. As for friend 2 she didnt have to agree with my decision to bakeract friend 1 but she was very rude to me about my decision when i was the one that got told she was moments from suicide. So id like to not talk to friend 2 much either but i live with them in a dorm so i kinda have to. TLDR: friend 1 needed to see mental health professionals but wouldnt after months of encouragement and provided resources so i decided to have officials force her to get mental health help when she told me she had been moments from suicide and friend 1 and friend 2 disagreed with that decision.
  7. figuring out your orientation or even just yourself as a person takes time. it will be hard but try and remind yourself to be patient with yourself because feelings are confusing so it takes time and patience to figure it out but one day youll get there. Also im not trying to define your orientation for you because only you can do that but just a suggestion maybe you could be grayromantic or somewhere else on the aromantic spectrum. But no matter what you will figure it out one day and whatever your orientation is youre an awesome person and i wish you luck with your dating endeavors. also even if talking to that guy seems like its too late you should talk to him anyways. just be honest about it an be like hey im confused but this is how i feel and yall can decide what you wanna do from there. you never know anything can happen.
  8. I had a falling out with a lot of my close friends in the past 6 months and ive pretty much only been left with 2 close friends altho i have to be around one of the friends i had a falling out with because shes my roommate. Sometimes i wish i could just move somewhere else and start entirely new with my friendships. has anyone else ever felt like that?
  9. I went to a convention last weekend and two of the stalls with pride flag products had aro stuff! i got a cute pin and if i can find the card i took from the table ill post it so anyone who wants a pin or something can buy one

  10. Even though its hard to differentiate between the two sometimes i think its a necessary distinction that needs to be made because a meetup and a qpr can have different connotations and expectations going into the situation unless theres at least a bit if a clear understanding of what someone wants out of a relationship. So there could be a thread for meetups which to me implies just to hang out as friends cuz you want to meet more aros and then another thread for dates which to me implies more of a qpr or whatever type of relationship situation
  11. I agree with a lot of the points made advocating for a dating thread. Like NotHeartless said I'd also want to date an aro person in a QPR because I feel like there's less room for misinterpretation when it comes to talking about what each person wants in the relationship, and even though there aren't many of us on this website it's still a nice starting point because for me personally I haven't met any other aros in real life. I also agree with Jot-Aro in that i think there should be a section for dating for those who want to post on that thread, but as long as it's a specific thread then those who don't want anything to do with it don't have to look at it.
  12. Happy valentines day! I platonically love you all💚

  13. So I basically described feeling aromantic to my mom but didn't tell her I'm aromantic. I was like I wouldn't mind dating but I don't feel a need to I'm okay without dating and she was like yeah that makes sense but knowing her if I said I'm aromantic she would just tell me I have to wait for the right person and that I'm still young so it was an odd situation

    1. NotHeartless

      NotHeartless

      I'm with you there, I've heard this sentence too often (same as "you'll change your mind"). And I'm not even out (yet):S.
      But congrats you brought up the courage to tell her indirectly. That's awesome! :aropride:

    2. Anything_but_allo

      Anything_but_allo

      Aw man, I hope both of you are able to come out freely one day! I have hope in you both 💚 and that’s good that she is at least ok with that decision, at least she accepts this. Just remember that you’re awesome and keep staying that way! 💚

    3. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      when i was questioning, i described aromanticism to my mom and she thought it was "sad," then when i came out she said she "wasn't worried about dating at 17 either" even though i was in a relationship at the time (wow, that was over 3 years ago?), but i tried to explain further and i think she accepts it, my dad too.  like i think the possibility that i'll change is definitely in their minds but like they're going with it for now?  idk, it could certainly be worse.  good luck.

  14. so ive taken a liking to crocheting and am almost done with a striped blanket which got be thinking that it would be pretty cool to make an aro flag blanket

    1. BecauseMeg

      BecauseMeg

      Wow, that's so cool! I actually just joined a crochet club that my friend started, so maybe one day I'll make a blanket like that :)

  15. Ironically my final paper for my 18th century literature class is on an author's view of first loves vs. second loves

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