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eatingcroutons

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About eatingcroutons

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  • Name
    crou
  • Romanticism
    Probably aro
  • Sexuality
    Mostly men

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  1. Exactly! A few years back I saw a job opportunity on the other side of the world, a four-month project that was super relevant to my interests. If I had had a partner or dependents there's no way I could have packed up and moved thousands of miles within a few weeks' notice - let alone taken the risk of doing so without any guarantee of employment beyond those four months. But alone, why the hell not? Taking on that project turned out to be one of the best decisions I'd ever made. It was the foot in the door I needed to get into my current field, where I've recently started a job that I adore. I like knowing that should I ever see another opportunity like that, there's nothing stopping me from just going for it. I mean sure, moving countries is a bit of a logistical hassle - but there's nobody I'd have to consult or compromise with, nobody I'd have to convince except myself.
  2. I think you mean more awesome. Seriously, what could be better than having the complete freedom to decide on your own terms, for nobody but yourself, exactly what to do with your life at any given moment? It's my absolute favourite thing about adulthood. Every now and then I have a surreal moment where it really hits me that I'm out here in the world literally making my own rules. That I can live and travel and work wherever I want - all I have to do is make a decision and go do it. And in those moments I feel almost giddy with autonomy. The downside of an escalator is that once you're on it, it's very hard to change direction - and I value my freedom far more than I care about making the "right" choices in life. (Protip: There's no such thing as the "right" choices. Uncertainty sets you free.)
  3. eatingcroutons

    Marriage Abolition

    Churches are welcome to celebrate and recognise any binding ceremony they like, as long as it has no legal standing in and of itself. (People can of course also form a legal commitment in line with any religious commitment, but they should be entirely separate mechanisms.) I don't think anyone is saying those should be the only two options. I explicitly believe that consenting adults should be able to draw up and commit to any contract they like. But as a first step it'd be great to legally separate relationship aspects that the institution of marriage assumes are always concomitant - the major ones being child-raising and asset-sharing - and allow people to legally commit to one independently of the other. I'm not talking about extending the definition of marriage. I'm talking about people being free to form any legal commitments to any relationships they like. I also believe that the government has no business prioritising or favouring any relationship type over any other, but that's a separate question as far as I'm concerned.
  4. Ehh... that sounds like the sort of thing middle school kids might say to feel edgy. I wouldn't take anyone who actually believes that seriously.
  5. eatingcroutons

    Fitting xkcd cartoon

    Oh man, that takes me back years.
  6. eatingcroutons

    Marriage Abolition

    I don't want to abolish legally recognised relationships. I want to expand and diversify them. I want people to be able to form any kind of legal bond(s) with as many other consenting adults as they like, on whatever terms and for whatever purpose they like. I want the state to recognise and respect the terms of any such legal agreements. There was a fantastic discussion of ways to restructure and reimagine "marriage" on Q&A a while back - I'm not sure if the episode is still online, but here's one of my favourite excerpts from it.
  7. eatingcroutons

    A Carnival of Aros

    So... has anyone actually managed to contact the people running this event? My friend and I emailed over a week ago offering to host, and followed up two days ago, and haven't had a single reply. Not even an acknowledgement that our emails were received.
  8. eatingcroutons

    Aromantic activism Poll

    Policy change for sure. So, so, so many practical aspects of life hinge on laws that prioritise and support monogamous romantic partnerships, and that has a real, serious effect on my ability to live and navigate life as a single person. It doesn't mean shit to me if there are more aromantic characters in media if I still can't apply for a joint mortgage with friends because romantic couples are the only legally recognised binding interpersonal relationships. We need policy change that allows all people, aro or otherwise, to define whom they want to enter into a legally binding relationship with, on what terms, and for what purpose. We need laws and banks and insurers to provide frameworks that can be adapted and applied to ALL kinds of relationships.
  9. Yeah, I'm also not sure what you mean by "a Stacy" or what you're asking with your topic. I'd like to help but could you explain a bit more what you're struggling with?
  10. eatingcroutons

    A Carnival of Aros

    Yeah, that's what the majority of aros I've talked to about this have said. Not about TAAAP specifically, but about this theme as a whole. Some feel they have nothing to contribute like @Apathetic Echidna, but most are annoyed about the theme as yet another example of treating aros as subsidiary to aces and don't WANT to contribute because they'd only have negative things to say.
  11. eatingcroutons

    A Carnival of Aros

    If only they'd put as much effort into planning actual aro-specific content! I have read the letter, and all the website content. I've also volunteered with a friend to host the March carnival on a new aro space we've been working on for weeks. I'm working with an aro Discord server on a proposal to host another month. I want to see this initiative succeed. Hell, I've got a 1200-word draft to contribute this month, which I wrote after scrapping my original 650-word draft, which I stayed up until 3am writing. But I'm still deeply aggravated by the fact that the organisers apparently had no idea how it would appear to those of us who are *not* ace to kick off a supposed aro-specific event with a theme that implicitly requires understanding of the ace community. I'm deeply aggravated that they're saying they've established this big and exciting thing for us when really, all they've done is told us to go and do all the work ourselves.
  12. eatingcroutons

    A Carnival of Aros

    So they're asking the aro community to: (a) Create content for a rebranded clone of the current Carnival of Aces theme/prompts, run by a primarily ace-focussed organisation (b) Come up with our own ideas for all future prompts, and host participation and create content for all future themes And in return they'll put links to our work on Wordpress, and maybe occasionally ask the aro community to come up with more themes? It sounds to me like their idea of "creating a carnival" actually means asking us to participate in an ace-led event, and then expecting us to create our own aro carnivals in the future. I'm not against the idea of blogging carnivals in this format, but I am a little a lot put out by presenting a theme that equally centres the ace community as "aro-specific", and making a lot of noise about this "aro-specific" carnival when they haven't actually organised anything aro-specific yet - in fact they're expecting the aro community to do that for them.
  13. eatingcroutons

    A Carnival of Aros

    Okay so... genuine question, because it's entirely possible I'm missing something here. If the people who started the carnival aren't going to come up with any prompts, or take responsibility for any hosting, and thus far have nothing in place to maintain it after the first month - what is it they're actually offering?
  14. eatingcroutons

    A Carnival of Aros

    Yeah... I'm gonna reiterate that launching an "aro specific carnival" with a theme that is all about the relationship between aromanticism and asexuality, and requires familiarity with the ace community to meaningfully comment on almost all the prompts, is not the greatest way to make aros feel like this carnival is specific to us. They're looking for people to host every month after the first one? So their idea of "creating a new aro specific carnival" is to promote one theme that puts asexuality on centre stage alongside aromanticism, and then hope aros come forward to organise themes and logistics for all future months? I'm sure this was all done in good faith with the best intentions... but the optics aren't great, metaphorically or literally:
  15. eatingcroutons

    how to explain aexuality to someone

    "You know how you feel zero sexual or romantic attraction to men? I feel that way about everyone."
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