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nonmerci

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    Nathalie

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  1. It depends on what you want. Do you want to make it clear that they are aro? Or you don't mind if people don't know they are aromantic (people won't assume that if you don't say it, using the word or not, they won't understand). You can also bring the subject at another moment in the book. If your characters are talking about their fear to come out, in particular at the begining of the story, the reader will be disappointed if they don't come out at some point in the story. I make my character "come out" to my (future) reader twice. First time, it was bring in the conversation quickly because another character thought he was a crush for him. Second time, it was longer because my character loves to torture people, and I wanted to make it clear that his singleism has nothing to do with his behavior. And when he became a better person, I'll do it again to say that just because he stops torturing people doesn't mean he has to date. Now I think it's your choice, and anyway, I'm sure this will be the good one.
  2. I'll be 25 on Monday. It's interesting to see most of people here are still in High school.
  3. You're friend in uninformed. Aromantic spectrum and romance repulsion are two different things. When I was a child I kept saying "love is a beautiful thing" everytime I saw people kiss on tv. I planned to get married (mostly because I wanted children I guess, I wonder éd about how I will call my children, not about how my hussand will look or romantic things 😆). And I am still on the aro spectrum. Plus it's you who know how you feel, people can't just say "no you are not" as if they know better than you your experience... I'm sorry your friend réactions like that. Maybe if you talk about him about that he will realize he was disrespectful, or he would have think of it. The problem of aromanticism is that it is not a well-known label, so sometimes when we want to come out we end up educating people. Anyway, don't let one bad experience keep you from coming out again if that what you want. Some people are in denial, but other will be supportive and happy to liste to you.
  4. Your example is funny because I watched a Swedwish tv show (trandslate into my language), and had no difficulty to understand, even if I don't know anything about the country and never been there. Maybe it would not have been the same if I watched a movie from Bollywood, but when it comes to Western countries we share a lot of similarities. I'm not saying we are the same, of course, but we speak of "general ideas of the context" so it doesn't matter. I'm not saying we could watch any movie from any country without problem, but you can for a lot. For instance, as I know about French, I would never recommand to watch Asterix et Obelix if you don't know about French culture because of all the references; but you can easily watch Intouchable. For culture very different, I just think that way : if other can adatp to our cultural context, we can do it too. And for people who won't read subtitles, that's a problem you have with any language (cf my dad who prefer to wait months instead of watching in vostfr). All this to say that if the ultimate aro content had to be watchable for everyone, but as said @Apathetic Echidna, instead of it being in English, it would be better if it was translate in mutliple languages so everyone can watch it.
  5. True that we all speak some English here, but a lot of people out there don't, so it could be cool for them to have things in their own language. Even when we speak English it could be difficult for us to understand. For instance, I can write and read English, but when it comes to people talking, I don't understand half of it if there is no subtitles. And when it comes to scientific or technic article, it's exhausting for me to read. Plus we could forget very good content just because they are not in English. i see where you come from, but I think it's better to have it in any language; and maybe traduce it if needed.
  6. The way your mum phrased it sounds like aromanticism is an excuse to have sex without being in a relationship - which is not the case. It would ne Mike saying that allo romantic asexual is just a word for people who don't like sex. This is not the case. People don't chose their orientation. It's not that aro allo don't want commitment : they just don't feel romantic attraction. Some even are romance repulsed, just like people are sex repulsed. By the way, it depends what you ment by commitment. Some aros are look in for strong bounds too. I won't speak for aro allos (I already speak too much I think), but I suggest you look for QPR. I also saw posts in this forum that talk about this, you should look in the section aromantic relationships. Edit : @Jot-Aro Kujo your comment about the Sims killed me.
  7. It may be the internet, but they want to create a website to represent the aro community as a whole, so it sounds natural to contribute. Now, I don't think we have the right to put a veto and some posts were not phrase well (sur la défensive, as we say in French, don't know how to say it in English sorry). It's not just a website, it's suppose to become come the reference about aromanticism, so every aro is allowed to express how they feel about it. In particular when they ask for poney. Now, I am more on the "see before judging" side, but I don't blame people for being worried.
  8. Remind me when I first describe the crush of my hero and felt I was writing something cliché. I was sûre it doesn't exist in real life. Except it does. 😂
  9. For how I see it, it is more the contrary : evil people are aromantic. Which is as stupid. Just because you're the bad guy doesn't mean you can't fall in love. It associates evilness and absent of romantic love. I had an aromantic moment the other day at Mcdo. Sitting next to me, two people was trying to convice a girl that she had problems with her boyfriend, bit she didn't want to break up because they are together for there years and she loves him. They were talking about it before I arrive, and was just finishing when I left. At some point, I wanted to scream "you're clearly not happy with that guy, talk with him or break up, but LET ME ET IN SILENCE". I really don't understand why people can't see what is obviously when they are in love.
  10. True, but I think it was a way to make the other attractions acceptable? For some strange reason, people demonized sex. But pairing it with a concept of "pure" love turns it in a good thing or Something like that. But this is just conjectures. I have not capacity to make studies about it. I don't know if this is really strange that nobody did it : people consider love like an universal and natural thing, so the thought that people didn't always look for it may not even cross their mind.
  11. I would have trier to make him understand how blinded he is. And if he doens't work, I would have let him like this and think about it during days with anger, thinking of all the things I could have say to him. 😂 But I agree, a lot of people associate poetry and romance. Probably because poetry became about feelings around XIX century. But first, feelings doesn't equal love, and second, we can write about everything we want.
  12. That's how I see it. Romantic attraction (in that sense of a biological/chimical reaction) has always been there, but the sense and value people attached to it changed. For some reason, at some point in history, people began to see this type of attraction as essential (probably because it was seen as purer than sexual or sensual attraction , I don't know).
  13. That is one of the reason I hesitate to see a mental health professional. I heard a lot of stories like that and I am scared of his reaction.
  14. I think you can try a QPR, but not a romantic relationship. If he doesn't feel romantic attraction it would not make sense. But you can still discuss of a type of relationship which is not friendship but isn't romantic either. At least that's how I see it.
  15. True, but I really don't understand that. But anyway I am someone who tries to understand people instead of judging them, even when I disagree, so I can't get why a lot of people erase us. (I mean, I see, they are scared because it leads them to think differently about things they were sure and it scared them, but still...)
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