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About nonmerci

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  1. nonmerci

    Aromantics in media

    Yes if you are aro you will see yourself in them, but if you don't know you are aro it won't help realize that you are. And it won't help explaining to people that aromanticism is a thing. People will keep expecting the character to falloir in love in the future. So of course I will be happy to see such characters, but I won't call it representation. No need to say the word aromantic, but just make it clear that the character doesn't feel romantic attraction or doesn't fit the amatonormativity. And dois that, make sûre that it doesn't look like a phase.
  2. nonmerci

    Romance in media

    I enjoy romance if it's well written but most if the time it's not. It's just there. As something that has to be there even if writters don't know why. I remember when I watched Ant Man and that the hero got the girl at the end, even if there are no development at all. It was just there because that's what people do, kissing at the end of the movie. And the worst is how people become only interested by that instead of the story. Like people who say they watch a show just for a ship, even if the ship appeared for the first time just the last episode. I'm still wondering why they were watching before the ship appeared.
  3. nonmerci

    Writing Thread

    Nano is a good for motivation. Impression that you trier though you didn't write fiction before. I have passe the point of 10 000 words but I don't think I'll finish it this year. First because I don't have enough with 50 000 words, second because I can't help but wanting to go back because I'm not satisfied.
  4. Don't forget that this could happen to allo too. Or for instance a straight person having a crush on a gay person, and vice versa. And you are not responsible for how you feel. There is something wrong with no one, and certainly not with you. People should understand that losing a friend is important too, and that you could feel hurt or depressed for that too. People value so much romantic relationship that they forget that there are other things in the world they can value. Am I the only one who never get the "we can't date so don't be friends?". I mean, ok you didn't want to date, but it don't invalidate that fact that you get along and have things in common. So why reject the friedship just because you can't have the romantic love?
  5. nonmerci

    Am I A Late Bloomer or Aromantic?

    Of course it's difficult to say who are a different person, but if you never had a crush for anyone, there is a possibility that you are somewhere on the aro spectrum. Your celebrities "crushes" Don't really sound are crushes for me, except the par "them being cute makes my heart ache" that makes me doubt. Do you have any desire to date them? Or marry them?
  6. nonmerci

    You might be aro if...

    Yes, this. I even think that about dating in high school.
  7. nonmerci

    Writing Thread

    Cool, now I am not the only aro who does it! But that's my first time (and I'm already late, and should be writing right now lol). Courage!
  8. nonmerci

    Writing Thread

    Hey everyone! As a lot of people seems to write here, I was wondering if someone was doing nanowrimo this year? (it seems that people who write novels are a minority here, but who knows)
  9. nonmerci

    Other languages!

    Same for me in English (plus there are so much accents…). A thing I notice : people from a different language always seem to speak quicker than people who speaks your native language. What helped me was watching shows in vostfr. I began because like this, I see the épisodes quicker, but it helps me with the accent. I also sing English song, but the funny thing is that I lost completly the accent when I speak istead of singing. "your writing is indeed very good. i've seen only a couple minor mistakes in all your posts i've read, and i could see where they came from." thanks. ^^ Reading forums or YouTube comments helped me a lot. @Fussy Rat Don't be afraid to write in English, this is the only way to progress ^^ . Plus I'm sure that people are aware that even if you write inEnglish, you may not be an English native speaker.
  10. nonmerci

    Harmful Romance Movie Tropes

    This. I remember when I watched Once Upon a Time, when people defended Rumbelle. If you Don't know the show, the story is a version of the Beauty and the Beast, except that at some point it goes in circle. Rumple just kept lying and being abusive to Belle. She gave him a new second chance each season. The show used that for "drama" (just omething that is in the way of Rumple before "conquering" Belle's heart). But it was just a toxic relationship. And the craziest was not that the show presented it as romantic, but that people defended the couple, saying that this is true love. I remember in season 6 when Belle hated him (and for a lot of reasons), someone told me that the relationship wasn't over, that they can still "fix" it, that they have to fight for love… I really didn't understand that. If someone treated me that way, I would run away, surely don't fight for having that man in my life. I'm not saying that you should never forget anything, but come on, sometimes it's just unhealthy. It makes me think of that other trope. In my country we call that the nurse syndrom, I don't know if it's the same in English. The one woman who will make the bad guy become good again (because, you know, any bad guy just need a woman to stop being abusive or toxic or whatever). But the trope I hate the most is that you can't be happy if you're not in love. You can have everything you want, you won't be happy till you're not in a couple. Makes me think of all that romantic movie when the man or the woman left his job or refuse the promotion he/she always wanted, to move on with their boyfriend or girlfriend (that most of the time, they know for only two weeks or a month…). Sure, abandon all your life for that person you barely know, or you will be single forever! This is true love! And this is a rational decision!
  11. nonmerci

    Other languages!

    I'm a native French, and I read and write English (or at least I hope so), but for some reason don't speak it or understand it when people talk to me (probably the accent, I can't understand what you say if you Don't use a horrible French accent ).
  12. nonmerci

    QPR Advice, please...?

    Remind me when a guy told me he would commit suicide if I refuse to be his girlfriend... We were 18 at that time, so I talk about this to his mother and never talked to him again. I suggest you have a serious discussion with them about how you feel, and about where your relationship is going. And if they refuse to understand, to leave. You don't have to say in a relationship that makes yourself uncorftable. If you are worried they'll do something to themselves, you can talk about it to people who are close to them to ask them to be aware, be sure they have someone to support them and talk to them, or find another way to help them feeling better without you being involved, so they won't be alone. But that kind of relationship isn't healthy for everyone.
  13. nonmerci

    Aromantic Moments

    I think the issue with 'cheating' is that there has been an (implicit or explicit) agreement made to have a monogamous relationship Yeah that's it. Except if you specify it from the start, people expect you to only date/have sex with them. So if you don't you break the rules and you are not seen are honnest any more. Then, how and why this had become an implicit rule... I suppose it was because of heirs : they needed to know if the person who inherited was the child of his dad, so the relation had to be exclusive. That's why cheating was even more criticized when the women was the cheater... But sometimes it goes far. I know someone who felt bad for flirting a bit with another man than her fiancé. They didn't do anything, just talking (though she saw the guy was interesting), and she kept wondering if it was cheating or not... I didn't get why it was such à big deal for her.
  14. nonmerci

    Scariest movies for you as a child

    Lion King. Really, I love this movie, even as a child I saw it a billion times. But the end, with the fire and the battle... I was scared every time. Then I managed to escape scary movies because I left the room when they appeared. Every time my dad watched à horror movie I asked him to change the channel. And my brother liked Scooby-doo, but I couldn't watch it.
  15. nonmerci

    Awesome Things About Being Arospec

    Same. And alsI, I like to escape all the questions and anxiety : "Does he loves me bac? "Does that smiley means something or not"? "How can I flirt with him?" And I like to escape jealousy and conflict and heart ache