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nonmerci

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About nonmerci

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    Nathalie

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  1. People complaining because their family-in-law is shitty. Me : just find another reason why being aro is great.
  2. I like romance if well-written or if I ship the characters romantically, though I don't go crazy about it and won't miss it if there is no romance. Otherwise I'm more indifferent (contrary to sexual scènes that can repulse me sometimes, but I am ace too). Also, it can make me laugh a lot, bad written or not. Some things that people say in romantic situations are just so funny. Right now there are a lit of Christmas movies (which are just romantic movies that take place in december most of the time), and really they are hilarious (though they are not meant to be, but when there is nothing on tv that's a fun thing to laugh at). Anyway there is nothing wrong to enjoy romance just because characters are hot. I'm pretty sure post allos only enjoy romantic plot because they fantasize about it.
  3. Never been in a relationship. I used to think 'I'll be in one when I'll fall in love". But I never developped romantic feelings towards someone. Ans now I discover I am aromantic. So I never been in a relationship, never will be, and I am perfectly fine with it.
  4. I love your memes! Here what I created myself, with Will from Stranger things (his arc was so aro last season).
  5. You just write the url of your meme in your post. If this is a meme from your computer, you can give it an url with website like zupimages.net (in French but you must have it un English too).
  6. Do you hear about QPRs (queerplatonic relationships; it is described as a strong emotional bound (some people say between platonic and romantic but I think it is amatonormative))? People call their queerplatonic partner a zucchini. Don't ask me why. Maybe it would fit your feeling? If not, I think partner is a good term because it doesn't label a relationship has romantic I think, contrary to boyfriend or girlfriend.
  7. This ring is so beautiful!
  8. I don't see anything in what you say that describes a crush or even a squish. Your nervousness seems to be cause by B, who deny your feelings and your identity (which would be stressful for everybody). But you didn't describe here any particular feeling that sounds like a crush or a squish. As you say yourself, you have no desire to date A. As @Jot-Aro says, B should not force feelings into other people. Maybe you should have a conversation about how shipping leads to wrongly interpretate things (at least I saw a lot if people, talking about fictional ships who aren't canon, seeing things that weren't there at all just because they ship characters, like SwanQueen in OUAT or SnowBarry in the Flash; they were sure their ship were gong to become a reality even if it was obvious the writers decided something else; I suppose it works the same with irl ships). So really, you should talk with B about how it is a rude mistake to think he (or she or they? Don't remember) know your feelings better than yourself.
  9. This. Everybody thought I was in love with a guy because we were always fighting. My, I hate him (well, we get along a couple of years later, but at the time he was just an idiot who get on my nerves). Now, this guy really had a crush on me. My best friend at the time thought I was too, so she arranged a meeting so he can ask me to be his girlfriend. I said "No, sorry", and I left like a boss. I was badass when I was 12. (Now I know that was a rude way to decline, but I really hated him.)
  10. Depends on people. Some people just don't care. A very good friend who never had a boyfriend said "so I am not alone" (I don't know if she is aro or not but she doesn't date). One didn't understand the word, thinking "aromantic" means something like "I don't like romantic things". And my mother te actes with the classic "you'll never know" and "you'll be alone". And the other day she said "when you get married"... we also have different point of view about the idea of having a child without a father... Strangely, my lgbt-phobic father was almost more understanding. Well, understanding isn't the word, because he doesn't understand anything (I'm still trying to explain that being asexual is not "disliking sex"), but at least he gets that I don't want to get married, though he complains about it. But I think it really depends on people.
  11. Oops, never heard of dysphoria outside gender context, that influenced my answer.
  12. I think you should go on the section "sexuality and gender", there are discussions about this. Because of course aromantics can feel dysphoria, why wouldn't they?
  13. I get that it is complicated to discover that someone doesn't love you the way you do. But the fact that this love is different doesn't mean it is less strong. Your relationship seemed to work the way it was, or you won't have stayed 13 yeas together. The thing you have to do now is discuss with him about how this will affect your relationship and what you both want from it. But keep in mind that the fact he doesn't love you romantically doesn't mean you can build project together or love each other. You have to think about what makes the relationship work for so long, focus on it, and decide if it is worth is or not.
  14. Wow kernsing, I love how you define romantic attraction, it makes a lot of sense. And to complete your excellent post, I add that "either feel romantic attraction or don't feel it" don't apply to aroflux neither, as by definition their expérience of romantic attraction is fluid. I never think about it before this thread too, but I think aplatonic has a lot in common with aro and ace : they are define by an absence of attraction too and can feel alienated for that.
  15. Honestly I don't think that all grey and demi are able to determine if they are hetero or bi or whatever, or that it would make sense to all of them. Unrealistic and untrue to the definition. Being allo is about crushes, which is not the same as falling in love (that's why saying "I love you" is such a big deal in a relationship). Of course we would have to ask to allo to know how frequent they feel romantic attraction. But honestly, I think it is a common experience for them. By they way, the grey area can be about intensity too, not frequency only. Again, I really think it is useless to say things are black and White, aro or allo; or then you have to denier the whole concept of the grey area. I believe the word arospec is for everybody who don't fit in the alloromantic norm. And people in the grey area don't fit, because the way they experience romantic attraction has not a lot in common with how alloromantic people do. The thing is, saying grey are allo is a way to kick out grey from the aro community to include them into a group where they don't recognition themselves and by whom they feel oppressed. And I think this définition of alloromantic is bad. People always say they alloromantics are the ones who feel romantic attraction, but they should say "the ones who feel it in a normal way" (normal meaning they are in the norm).
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