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Showing content with the highest reputation since 02/15/2019 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    I just found an old xkcd comic which I thought represents the views of quite many aros: https://xkcd.com/807/ Just wanted to repost it here. Edit: Just noticed that the right subforum would be "Aromantic Pride and Culture" and not this one
  2. 3 points
  3. 3 points
    I created a survey to get an idea of how the aromantic community viewed romance in media and real life. If you have any suggestions, please let me know! https://goo.gl/forms/yVOpn8dvXaC2M9zL2
  4. 3 points
    I'm taking this, but I think the name of this topic should be changed because love and romance aren't the same thing and it seems like what it really is is a survey about romance.
  5. 2 points
    My name is Ama, I'm aromantic and asexual and I use she/her pronouns. I've know I was aro for a few years, but i only accepted it last year. I was wondering if it was okay for me to post a survey I made about the aro community and views on romance?
  6. 2 points
    i just posted a survey in the visibility, articles, and meetups forum. it'd be great if yall would take it and share it with ur friends!
  7. 2 points
    Happy valentines day! I platonically love you allπŸ’š
  8. 2 points
    Happy Valentines Day!!!! No matter who you are of how you celebrate it, I hope you all have a wonderful time doing what ever makes you happy ((((: I also wish I could send y'all some of the brownies I made for my friends <33 Throughout all my time on this site I have been met with nothing but kindness and never have I felt unwelcome. Whenever I come on and see a message in my inbox, reaction to something I post, etc I get a warm feeling and it truly makes my day. It makes me very happy to know that I can actually help people and make a difference in not only mine, but their lives as well. So, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You πŸ’œπŸ’šπŸ’œπŸ’šπŸ’œπŸ’šπŸ’œ Dont be afraid to message me about anything (or if you just want to say hi!). You can message me ethier on here, twitter, or discord. Twitter: https://twitter.com/Krispy_Vessel Discord: Krispy Vessel#7756
  9. 1 point
    I have always loved helping others with their problems but usually get too anxious to say anything out loud. So I thought to myself, "Why not go and see if anyone needs help online?", And that how I ended up making this topic. Anyone can reply on this thread, or message me directly. Also, my discord is @Not My "Kris"tian Server #7756 if you want to contact me there. I look forward to talking or helping out in any way possible, so don't hesitate to contact me. ❀️
  10. 1 point
    Hello! My name is Yarenios and I recently discovered that I am aroace. I found this via Instagram as an alternative to AVEN and I am excited to see what this site and community bring!
  11. 1 point
    I did a poll some while ago about the gender distribution here on the forum. Apparently, there are twice as many females here than males. This result was also reproduced by a study I saw on tumblr some while ago. Since then I've been wondering if this is something which inherent to aromanticism or if it is just a sampling bias. Right now, my theory is that it is a sampling bias caused by women talking more often about love with their friends. If this is true, it might lead to an increased psychological strain because of not being able to contribute anything to the conversation and just realizing more easily that something is "off", resulting in a higher proportion of women actually investigating about aromanticism. But I don't have any experience with this. I can just say for myself that I personally basically never talk about love with my friends (but this could also just be because all of my friends are nerds) and only looked into aromanticism because of curiosity as I didn't think it would matter much if I was aromantic.
  12. 1 point
    Hi Ama, welcome to the forums! Have some ice cream from me too:
  13. 1 point
    That's my thought too. I find it a little weird though that aro people would feel the need to "date". I thought most aros viewed their relationships more in the term of relationship anarchy. So the idea to interact with a stranger with a specific relationship goal from the start seems strange. Wouldn't a general request to find aros who live nearby or who want to be pen pals suffice?
  14. 1 point
    Hello and welcome! Yes, pretty much all content is welcomed so posting a survey would be fine!
  15. 1 point
    From this "self help" book I'm reading. I thought other aro's might enjoy it.
  16. 1 point
    I’d rather fall of my bed every morning than get married
  17. 1 point
    A ziplock bag... it takes at least 14 trys to open it and it has a 50% chance of ripping upon being unzipped.
  18. 1 point
    Basically a rant, but I think I have a point. Please comment! expand the general idea or specify a part of the idea I was reading this great topic and things stewed in my mind. If romance functions like a drug in our brain people will pay to get their fix. Look at the costs of weddings and the profit made on Valentine's Day. The piles of books and movies and tv shows. Weddings have always been about showing off, but now there is an entire industry built around diamond engagement rings and white dresses that are only worn once. Romance and stereotyped love is big business dealing with big bucks. Commercially it is not in their interest to support alternative weddings, but rather to make the most frivolous and expensive romantic gestures the normal, like 24 imported long stem red roses, engagement rings where bigger is better and designer dresses for the entire wedding party. The industry has no reason to value diversity and every reason to support amatonormativity ideals. Because they have the money they fund things to get more exposure which filters into society....then more people buy into the ideals and spend more money on it, giving them more power to get more exposure. The most insidious of these things are the reality tv shows. Unlike books or scripted media these shows are seen as being 'real' people in 'achievable' relationships, and possibly even role-models. The Bachelor(ette), Love Island, Married at First Sight, Real Housewives, Wife Swap, I know people who would watch these things on their lunch break to get their 'fix' to help them get through an afternoon of work. Generally the romance is overblown or the people involved are chosen to be provoking (but still in a relationship). I think when people say "sex sells" they also mean voyeuristic romance, because what really is The Bachelor except romance porn? yet it is acceptable to televise for family viewing.
  19. 1 point
    I don't think this post is supposed to be in this topic, but it didn't really fit anywhere so I will just leave it here. I know I don't experience romantic attraction, but I never quite understood how it is supposed to feel or what it's like. There are no good descriptions on the web, or in any of the books I have ever read (and I read a quite a lot), and nobody seems to be able to explain it. As a fanhuman, I find it very hard to have ships because I don't understand it when the characters are attracted to each other and how it's different from them being friends. How do you figure out if a person is romantically attracted to somebody else? How is romantic attraction different than friendship?
  20. 1 point
    Your question gives me very big quoiromantic vibes! Honestly, if we all knew what the difference was, I suspect we would've put the terms' respective definitions up in bold on the home page. From what I've been learning, both from the aromantic and alloromantic communities, is that the distinction between friendship and romance is different for everyone. Some people don't even have a real distinction and it's all just a nebulous feeling. There are some aros who define romantic attraction in a way other aros define platonic attraction. There are some allos who define romantic attraction in a way aros define their platonic attraction. Some people (like me) have very specific definitions of different types of attraction, while others keep it broad, and even others don't bother defining anything at all. It's also really hard to define something you haven't ever experienced, right? The thing about feelings is that they're subjective and are very difficult (if not impossible) to compare between two different people. I experience this issue even for non-oriented feelings like sadness. As for participating in fandom, I can definitely see how it's frustrating and confusing, but it might help to know that different characters' definitions of romance might be different. That's why certain characters may get together romantically and others not, even if they're in almost identical-looking situations. I don't think it's possible to figure out if a person is romantically attracted to somebody else unless you have a good sense of how they define romance. I've had plenty of friends accuse me of being romantically attracted to people I definitely did not like that way. Not sure if that helped or just validated how confusing this stuff can be, but basically, these definitions are naturally fluid and subjective, so it's OK if you don't understand someone's feelings. You can still be accepting. There are plenty of conversations about this that have gone on in this forum. If you're curious, here's a whole thread about defining romantic attraction:
  21. 1 point
    A waterproof sponge Cups with holes in them
  22. 1 point
    i made this reply to a new male member wondering about the same thing: "yeah, ok, i've been thinking about this. idk how to phrase this but a possible reason for more women identifying as aro is that it's more...noticeable to us? because of the stereotype that women are more romantic and men are more sexual, like, i think some guys just don't really think much of it. and it seems tied to heteronormativity, so being heterosexual could definitely be a part of it. (i know that made it hard for me to realize i was aro. the whole "you just haven't found the right person" rhetoric is thrown around in an apparent effort to assure us we're 'normal' and we kind of believe it.) anyway, the ratio of actual aro-spec men compared to women and non-binary people could be more even, maybe even in favour of men (idk, hypothetically) but it's like, 'oh, that's how it's supposed to be.' is that off-base? i mean, a lot of people don't recognize the difference between not prioritizing relationships/"serious" relationships (ugh, that's a whole other discussion) or not being one for overt romantically-coded expression, and actually not experiencing romantic attraction, i.e. being aro. including many aros, at first. sorry, that's a lot to introduce right away. just a taste of the kind of discussions we get into here. πŸ˜„ welcome."
  23. 1 point
  24. 1 point
    Well if they don't need to know that I'm aro, then I might give it a go as well
  25. 1 point
    You aren't alone, although in my case it isn't trauma related, I just don't really get attached to people and I don't really miss them, excluding my parents and sisters (and my cat. I like cats more than I like people). I form bonds very quickly, and I'm likable and get along with people, but in my case "far from sight, far from the heart" rings true. Most of my friendships fizzle out as soon as we aren't in the same setting anymore (finished uni, changed jobs etc.). I have a few childhood friends that I fight nail and tooth to be in touch with, against my nature, because we've been friends since we were children and we've been through everything together. But it's a struggle. I'm not good at it. I have to make myself care. It become even harder since they were both married and had kids, since I feel like I can't really relate to them anymore.