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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/21/2018 in all areas

  1. 7 points
    Yeah, my allo friends think my relationship advice is amazing. But the secret is that every bit of advice I give them would work exactly the same in any other encounter, whether it's a friendship, a family relationship, or ordering your coffee at Starbucks. My advice is just "how to communicate with other humans 101". But the allos don't know that, and it blows their minds every time. Shh! Don't let them know our secret that we actually don't know shit about romance!
  2. 4 points
    I just recieved my aro flag and it's so pretty and huuuge and I am so happy. It was a pain to have it down and made me really anxious but damn am I happy of the result. It is so awesooooome. I've never felt more proud of being aro. I wanna use it as a cape and wave it in everyone's faces like a queeen ♥
  3. 4 points
    I think a lot of these issues apply to anyone who lives alone, for whatever reason. Though aros do have some specific issues involving their friendships disappearing as their allo friends get married and start ignoring all other interpersonal relationships. I'm in my 30s and most of my friends from college can't even be bothered to respond to texts or emails or Facebook messages any more, and I long ago gave up on ever trying to hang out with them, since most of them are too busy shuttling their children around and/or working 60+ hours a week. Gender dynamics change as you get older, too. Older men who have never married usually face a greater threat of isolation, since they are often seen as untrustworthy or dangerous (there's a twisted logic where observers assume that they must have never married because they are untrustworthy or unstable, otherwise they would have married, because clearly nobody would CHOOSE not to get married). Older single women are often seen as vulnerable, and while this can draw predators, it also draws people willing to help, and it's easier for adult women to make friends, at least in the US. As for issues regarding living alone, I started considering this in my early 20s when I first lived alone. I fell off my bicycle one day and injured my knee, and during the night while I slept, the bruising became much worse. When I got out of bed the next morning, the moment I put weight on that leg, the pain was utterly blinding. I quickly found myself flat on the floor, and as I was wracked with searing pain, I noticed that my heart was racing and my skin was clammy and I felt freezing cold, and I thought I was going into shock. I realized nobody would come looking for me for days or weeks. My college friends had all graduated and moved away and hadn't bothered to stay in touch, and I'd made it very clear to my family that I was not interested in chatting with them every day the way they wanted me to. Luckily, I didn't go into shock, and I was able to crawl to my phone and call an acquaintance I hadn't spoken to in months to come get me and take me to an urgent care facility. But after that, I really thought for a while about how to handle this kind of thing. I think it can be good to establish relationships with people who are willing to check on you if they don't hear from you, but also respect your privacy and need for solitude. Ideally this person would be someone who also lives alone and you could reciprocate those actions. I've met a number of divorced women in their 50s and 60s who often check on each other and help each other when issues arise. Of course, all this requires establishing relationships with people who live near you who are willing to actually devote at least a little time to interacting with you regularly, which I've found to be damn near impossible in this suburban wasteland.
  4. 3 points
    I wish aro socks existed. But nobody wants to acknowledge us in their cutesy pride merch.
  5. 3 points
    I totally love this - It only came out earlier this month!
  6. 3 points
    I find this sort of unfair as the way it seems to be set up is to do a 'first date' which would basically exclude those already in relationships and those people not out/or uncomfortable still about their sexuality and attractions. Maybe it is just the article doing a romantic dating spin, as in Australia asking someone for a casual meeting and conversation would be a 'get together' and would be the easiest credit for everyone to get, but this article definitely seems to lean towards an understanding that the people being asked out are for some sort of romantic overture. Even if the professor is using the word 'date' in a non-romantic way, she talks about all these rules and structure of a date which to me don't sound particularly non-romantic. Sure, the asking out in person thing could be a legit 'get the students out of their comfort zone' thing, like the food course I did where we had to go out and eat chicken feet. Learning to move on from indifference and take rejection is fairly good thing too. But the rest sounds like some judgemental older person dictating their dated cultural values onto younger people for who those things might not work. She said she started this as the majority of her almost graduating students had never been on a 'first date'. I can only assume this is the romantic meaning of date as it seems really strange if all those people didn't have friends they did things with to make their human connections. I sort of feel this whole thing is a sad reflection on the education system, too busy studying, to busy focusing on what looks good on a resume, too focused on a future job that no students are allowed to be children, teens and young adults to learn about making connections and socialising in a natural way. (I may just be a bit snarky because I recently watched Michael Moore's 'Where to invade next')
  7. 3 points
    today i learnt that my mum is not accepting of aro/ace people. good to know. won't come out to her about it now that i know she won't understand or accept me. i feel empty and lost.
  8. 3 points
    I was actually pretty excited to plan an outfit for my sister's wedding this year... but no, turns out it's all being planned by the bride-to-be. I didn't know about this beforehand since I was six the last time I was anywhere near a wedding. Thanks, allos!
  9. 3 points
    good point! I'm going to one cousin's bridal shower this weekend and then next weekend I'm going to a different cousins wedding.....so I'll report back afterwards lol (wish me luck:)
  10. 3 points
    My teacher's words after explaining that aromanticism is a lot like being straight, except everyone's your gender: "So it's like being a straight boy in a room full of straight boys."
  11. 2 points
    Every time I see one of those "letter to my younger self" things it's always the same cliche "don't worry about that relationship, you'll find the one some day, you have time, you can get over having your heart broken, blah blah blah." Insert allo nonsense here. So now I'm wondering: what would you say to your younger self?
  12. 2 points
    How does Crunchyroll not have every episode of the original Yugioh yet?! I know legal issues prevented them from having it at all until 2016, but it's been two years since then.
  13. 2 points
    hm. it's only the second week of summer vacation and i'm already getting bored. what do i do??????????
  14. 2 points
    Oh god, I just realized next month is pride month. Kill me.
  15. 2 points
    Would it kill my schools lgbt club to give a shit about the whole community rather than just gay people? I’m beginning to think it would. Every week I leave feeling worse than when I came
  16. 2 points
    Yeah because giving extra credit to people who have the ability and "want" to date is definitely not discrimination against aromantics, arospec, anxious people, people already in relationships and just basically anyone that isn't interested by her program. It's discriminatory because it's linked to people personal life, there's no way this can't be discriminatory if you bound personal life with study courses. I mean it's a private school so I guess there's not this issue that much but like she said the one asking had to pay. And the one asking is the one having the extra credit ? So that makes it really complicated for people without a lot of money to really engage as well. I'm so pissed off by this. Do write about that to the Washington Post. I would really enjoy reading that.
  17. 2 points
    I must have missed that too. This really does seem like a terrible idea all around. It's not her job to try to fix everything she thinks is wrong with her student's personal lives. Part of me is planning on writing a strongly worded letter to the editor of the Washington Post about that article.
  18. 2 points
    so their communication has been on various screens? like computer and phone? Studies have shown that the reward feelings you get when you check your phone and see something pleasing can form an addiction. She in the past has probably been happy when she received communication from him so she actually may have a sort of addiction to their communication, no matter how terrible of a situation it is now she has these habits. Maybe something that would help her is if she has some sort of alternative (like a smoker trying to quit having a pen to play with and chew on) maybe try to find a game or a get yourself and other friends to communicate with her online or by phone more. Replace his way of interacting with her by having other friends interacting in the same ways so she doesn't focus on what she is missing out (and thus focusing on him). But yes, she totally has to drop him. He sounds inconsiderate and flakey.
  19. 2 points
    Just pretend you know what is going on and run with it thats what I did
  20. 2 points
    That is like one of my serious nightmares. This sort of (in my case very likely) possible event and my habit of going a bit mental when living alone means I will probably always be living with someone. Though last year or the year before I read a great heart-warming (to me at least) article about a lady in her late 60s who lives with 2 or 3 housemates/logers in a fancy part of Sydney. She becomes friends with most of her housemates, so there is always going to be a safety net of people around, plus with the people moving in and out her friend network grows. I guess as she gets older she will have to be more vigilant about not being taken advantage of, as I know a case of a lady befriending an older man just to get all his money and stuff (luckily the Will managed to be changed back before he got too infirm that she could have contested it)
  21. 2 points
    my best friend just called me her best friend and told me she loves me endlessly and i cried. i'll never get tired of hearing that stuff.
  22. 2 points
    Hi all! I'm still feeling my way around the forums but thought I'd throw up a quick intro. I'm Gray/Grayson, though Cinereus is also totally fine. I'm in my mid-twenties and work in the museum field, am neurodivergent, and a queer/bi-alterous aroace nb/trans vaguely-guything who uses he/his pronouns. I've known I was trans for years and years and have been transitioning for a long while now (though for a long time I identified as a binary trans man), but it's taken me a long long time to figure out I was aroace - only since my early twenties really when I was trying "ace" on for size after having my "oh, people aren't joking about experiencing sexual attraction" moment and realized just how little interest I had in relationships in general. Because the experiences are so linked for me I don't really see my aro-ness and ace-ness as separate, but I also see my aromanticism as more pivotal to my identity than my asexuality, which makes ace spaces just vaguely not what I'm looking for. So I was excited to realize an aro forum exists, and that it seems free of all the nonsense that keeps me from wanting to talk about being aroace on tumblr! Besides being a queer disaster, I like hiking, outdoor photography, and creative writing, and in a lot of ways can only relate to romance in the sense of how I feel about landscapes - especially the southwest U.S. deserts where I grew up and the Pacific Northwest where I currently live. I'm a huge reader (lots of sci-fi, fantasy, magical realism, plus history/science/culture nonfiction when the mood strikes) when I'm not buried by work, I like to sew and am learning to do embroidery, and I'm currently a huge nerd for The Adventure Zone. I'm an eclectic pagan, mostly a weird mix of Norse and Kemetic/Egyptian.
  23. 2 points
    Does a plain green heart mean anything else? I figure it'd be a pretty good symbol, especially for its simplicity. Also, it dispels the idea that aromantic people are some kind of loveless abomination.
  24. 2 points
    To Elementary School Me: 1. You don't actually have a crush on that person. I know you're lying to yourself and you know you're lying to yourself. Don't believe what people tell you about having to like-like somebody; you're fine. 2. Go find a book series called The Lord of the Rings. Just trust me. To Middle School Me: 1. That person you "take" to the 8th grade Dance thinks that you like them. That's what the awkwardness is. 2. DO NOT LET THE TROUBLE-TWINS WANDER OFF ALONE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD AROUND GRANDMA'S HOUSE. YOU WILL END UP PICKING CACTUS SPINES OUT OF ONE OF THEIR BUTTS. To High School Me: 1. When you tell that guy who wants to go see The 300 that it's not a date, you're just going to see the movie as friends and he says "yeah, sure, sure", don't believe him. He totally thinks its a date. 2. You know that absolute JERK that your best friend ends up with a crush on in freshman year? Yeah, he's gonna get hit by a car, spend half a year in recovery, get a reality check and some serious life perspective, become less of a jerk, and end up becoming one of your best friends. Go figure. (Also, he's still a little bit of a dick sometimes, but like....in a love-able, brotherish way.) To College Me: 1. Sometimes I miss being you. 2. Also, you should maybe look up "asexual" and "aromantic" online and then check out the local LGBTQIA group. Find your people. To Adult Me: 1. The job offer sounds too good to be true and also vaguely sketchy. Just go to the interview. You'll be fine. 2. Trust in your own definition of yourself.
  25. 2 points
    "Stop calling your toy cutlass a 'pirate sword.' Non-pirates carried them for two hundred years."
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