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Showing most liked content since 05/25/2017 in all areas

  1. 12 likes
    I'd go with just "How can people get married?"
  2. 10 likes
    Interpreting things differently than most people can have some funny moments. The look of confusion on people's faces when I respond to them in ways they totally didn't expect is priceless. Like if someone said "Love is in the air!" I'd say something like "ew, get me a gas mask!". Or when someone asked me what I wanted to do for Valentine's day, I said "Go to the dentist". Also, a friend showed me this meme: Q: What is your idea of the perfect date? A: DD/MM/YYYY.... other formats are too confusing.
  3. 8 likes
    Ace/Aro version- *ANY person flirting with me* Romance-averse side: Oh dear lord.. is this flirting? Or just.. friends? CAN WE BE FRIENDS? Sex-repulsed side: DON'T TOUCH ME (except hugs, I like hugs) All of the factions united to form a super akward cringe reaction which leaves me looking like i'm enduring torture.. or pooping. Flirting personally usually leaves at this point
  4. 8 likes
    I know not everyone gets this, but I think it belongs here *stereotypically attractive person flirting with me* Romance-repulsed side: OH NO Allosexual side: OH YES One day, the warring factions may reach a ceasefire. lol jk time for a lifetime of internal conflict
  5. 8 likes
    Hardly the greatest "sales pitch" in history Allo: Everyone should be "in a relationship" there's someone for everyone. It's the greatest thing ever. Me: I think you you are missing that people are diverse, have different tastes and interests. I've never been remotely interested. Allo: Have you tried it? You can't have an opinion on something you havn't done. Me: Actually yes it wasn't for me at all. Allo: It must have been with the wrong person. Me: I'm certain it was the wrong thing to do. Anyway have you seen "Guardians of the Galaxy 2". Allo: I told you last week I wasn't into films based on comic books. Me: How many have you seen? Maybe try varying the cinema or show time in case it's that. Plenty of Netflix too. Allo: I'm not into those kinds of films. I don't need to watch them to know that. Me: I don't need to try romantic relationships to know that they are not the kind of relationship for me. Allo: Does that mean you don't want relationships? Me: No more than you don't want to watch movies. Allo: I watch plenty of movies. Me: Have you understood the analogy or do I need to try a different one?
  6. 7 likes
    Me at pretty much every music with words ever: "The music is so good...but the lyrics are so alloromantic...what do?" #AroMusicNerdProblems
  7. 7 likes
    A fresh one: An admin from a fanpage I am also an admin on on fb is male and we are (sorta?) close and appearantly he has a gf. I don't really care about that and I was talking to him about what rules we would put on forum page since I edited a manga panel from a omake scene in an art book of the series for the "welcome to our forum" automated message thingy and he asked if I could make one for rules page too so we were talking about that. And then??? It is suddenly his gf talking??? She was "checking his accs" and it was "just for fun" not that she was "jealous" or "over controlling" or something. And I was just like ???? and then she went on to say that she would "make ambushes now and then" as if it is a normal and funny thing and my only reply was "okay?". Then she went on explaining and being pretty proud about how they met and all, while I just sat there going "??? Idc I am just trying to see what to edit on a page please let him return and shut up."
  8. 6 likes
    My QPP and I semi(?)-seriously resolved to get married in the future for tax benefits and to thumb our noses at the allo establishment today, but because I'm the kind of person who spent way too much time ranting about this in their gender & sexuality studies classes last year, I've been doing some thinking about the whole idea and came upon a sort of internal ideological conflict. On the one hand, there's something very powerful in taking something formerly oppressive or problematic and reclaiming it for one's own validation--a subversion of the system by its own means, using itself to point out the flaws in its own logic and execution. On the other, marriage as a concept is rooted in so many things that are either inapplicable or downright harmful to both the aro community and parts of modern society in general (amatonormativity as codified and exemplified in both culture and legal status, extremely gross heteronormative cisnormative patriarchal gender roles, establishment of inheritance through a recognized system of paternity, monogamy and its attendant normativities, religious exclusionism (and hence a question of the separation of church and state), etc.) that one wonders if it's beyond the point of constructively subverting and reclaiming, and instead just needs to be utterly discarded and overtaken by something entirely different that's not nearly as broken and isn't rooted in the same ossifying structures that caused all these problems with marriage 1.0 in the first place. I'm not looking for personal relationship advice here, I'm just wondering what all y'all's take is on the matter.
  9. 6 likes
    ^ My brain, which has a tendency to interpret things literally, read your sentence to mean that your schoolfriend was in some sort of polyamorous trio marriage with a mortgage and a dog. You have brought me much amusement for the night. I feel like my extremely formulaic approaches to romance--and later, sex--ought to have been a glaring sign. I tended to think of getting a partner as a glorified, extended role-playing game where you say certain "romantic" or "sexual' phrases to capture the attention of your target--I mean, er, "interest"...like, "romance" and "sex" were two different languages I would switch to speaking, less because I was actually interested in romance and sex themselves, and more because I just liked to game the systems of romance and sex. I had "strategies" optimized for both games of romance and sex, but my greatest satisfaction resulted from the intellectual challenge of creating those strategies, rather than the successful results of my strategies.
  10. 6 likes
    The ASAPScience Tumblr knows what's up.
  11. 6 likes
    When you can't say that ~someone opposite sex~ has great looking hair or looks handsome/beautiful without all girls in you glass start thinking that you have an crush on her/him
  12. 6 likes
    @Mark Well, I read the full description on the "twitterpated" page and I'm with Thumper
  13. 5 likes
    I agree with this. Trying to 'edit' one's desires- whether platonic, sexual, romantic, whatever- to adhere to a political ideal usually doesn't work out. For one thing, interpersonal relations are a reflex for most humans; we're social animals and trying to limit one's social drives is kind of like trying to suffocate yourself by holding your breath- you'll gasp involuntarily sooner or later. For another, not everyone agrees on the same things even being a subversive act (think of the eternal "is choosing to be a mother and housewife antifeminist or not" argument). And for a final thing, even if you (general you) do find yourself fitting happily into a lifestyle which fully subverts allo systems- for the most part, who's gonna know? Marriage is a huge institution that exists in one form or another across the entire globe. Even if someone becomes newsworthy for an unusual living situation and doing activism around it, 90% of the world is just never gonna hear about their acts of subversion. Most people will see a QP pair frolicking in the street and might think 'couple' or 'friends' or 'siblings', and won't think or talk about it again. It seems to me that change in how society sees major systems like marriage comes about slowly through more and more people tiring of the status quo and exercising their right to do something different and ask for what they need to be happy. Just living authentically is active and subversive enough, because it gives other people implicit permission to do the same, and that exposes a wider and wider amount of the world to the alternatives as time goes by- inevitably leading to some change.
  14. 5 likes
    To me, this is just the most bizzare, logic-breaking opinion ever. And it just baffles me how apparently widely held it is! I presume that people have children because THEY like children and THEY want to have said children? In principle their decision cannot take into account the feelings of their children - as they don't yet exist! So, again, it seems to me that in principle the ONLY reason somebody has children is because THEY want to . Well, how selfish of them! Also, it would be the height of irresponsibility to have children if you weren't pretty sure you wanted them. As you'd be bringing a potentially unwanted child into the world, which would be a lot for that child to have to deal with psychologically growing up. So, again, child-free / childless-by-choice people are actually being very responsible by not having children they aren't sure they would want. This doesn't surprise me. You can potentially put a lot of it down to cognitive dissonance. Most people might find it rather difficult to reconcile the belief "I love my kids" with the belief "gosh, having kids is really tough, there are often days I wish I hadn't bothered!" Easier to just shrug and go "of course I wanted kids REALLY" (even if I complain about it to you literally all the time ). I guess it's basically impossible to openly admit that you regret having kids once you've had them. It'd be like admitting to them that you don't love them and you wish they'd never been born. A bit of an ethical taboo, and for some good reasons I suppose. There is also (and I hope you'll forgive me being a bit snarky here!) the flipside of the saying "misery loves company". Which is "misery resents hold-outs" Could that also go some way towards explaining some of that hostility towards the "child-free" from people stressed-out by their own child-rearing responsibilities?
  15. 5 likes
    For me, it's when those in a romantic relationship spend every waking moment together. It freaks me out just thinking about it. Like, don't they ever want to do their own thing? How can they stand not having a break from talking to people? You wanna know the dumbest part? It makes me feel so lonely to watch them do it, even though I want no part of it.
  16. 5 likes
    You won't get away with this shakes fist
  17. 5 likes
    I only want to change it in the fact I want society to leave me alone about my life.
  18. 5 likes
    Stumbling upon articles about red flags in relationships or DOs and DON'Ts of a healthy relationship and getting puzzled as to how so many people can possibly be unaware or those because to you, every idea presented is as obvious as the fact that 2+2=4. :-?
  19. 5 likes
    coming out to someone as aroace, like i literally said "i don't feel romantic or sexual attraction" and my friend goes "oh, don't worry, you'll find the right person someday!" like i knew she meant well but could i spell it out any clearer???
  20. 4 likes
    Well for me these signs didn't really appear until around very late primary school. They were appearing mainly in high school because that's typically the age where kids start becoming hormonal. Whenever I would spend time with other girls (which wasn't often) I would feel annoyed or even sometimes repulsed when all they would talk about would be their crushes. And when they would ask me who my crushes were and I would tell them I have never had one, they would seem to think I was weird in some way. So yeah, its mostly for that reason that I never really got along well with other girls. Guys tended to be far less into the romantic side of things. I just don't get why a person would feel the need to be in a specifically romantic relationship rather than spend time with a good friend. In fact, I don't understand romance at all. When I think of what romance would be my brain links to platonic love, which somehow seems far more appealing to me. All the more reason that its probably extremely likely that I am aro.
  21. 4 likes
    Etymologically, it makes sense. The a- prefix means 'without'. So 'aromantic' would be 'without romance', and asexual would be 'without sex'. There's more nuance to the actual definitions than that, but the basics make sense even if you've never heard the word before. Asexual in particular is an overloaded word though, leading to some extra confusion (eg. especially asexual reproduction). People know the word from other contexts and try to apply what they already know about other usages to this new usage as applies to humans leading some awkward and downright silly questions (eg, do you split down the middle?). There really isn't a good alternative other than coming up with a completely new word but that comes with it's own confusion around what the word actually means until lots of people start using it.
  22. 4 likes
    A friend recently told me that they could tell I was ace/aro in elementary school... (Well why did you never tell me dear friend....)
  23. 4 likes
    My first ex (from when I was 16 = 5 years ago) is chatting to me on facebook and keeps trying to flirt #allthenope #aromanticproblems I don't even know how to explain I'm Ace/Aro because I dated him (for a whole 2 weeks)
  24. 4 likes
    [[Super hoping this post is in the right place. Also, if a topic like this already exists let me know and I'll just head over there instead.]] As an aromantic, when I scroll through media sites like Buzzfeed, Tumblr, Facebook, etc. I see a lot of the articles, quizzes, memes, and things are about romantic love. There are plenty of things like, 'a quiz for couples,' 'you know you're in love when. . .' etc etc. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. Obivously these things don't interest me, so I get really excited when I come across things about platonic love/relationships! I've very very rarely seen things that are specifically for aromantics or even use the word "aromantic." But, I'll take what I can get. I found this post today [https://www.buzzfeed.com/jasminnahar/tumblr-posts-to-send-to-your-best-fri?bfsource=bbf_enuk&utm_term=.jrxmJppxZN#.iivZJwwgR1] that I actually related to and wanted to share with you all. It inspired me to make this thread where anyone can share silly things like memes, tweets, tumblr posts, articles, or whatever that is specifically for aromantics or about platonic love/feelings.
  25. 4 likes
    Hello! I'm Kasey. Very comfortably aro & bisexual. I had a recent revelation that navigating the world as a very aromantic lady is stupidly difficult sometimes. So, I'm here to complain to you all. But really, I enjoy the community. [I also have an account at AVEN.] Some personal stuff about me. I'm approximately 45% bubbly tumblr queen & 55% evil girl boss. In the "real world," I'm a theatre technician (in a male-dominated field), and often too professional & stern for my own good. I care a whole bunch about lgbt+ issues, feminism, mental health, cats, national parks, art history, hair & make-up, etc. I'll probably do more lurking on threads than posting, although it is a habit I'm trying to break. I'm not joking when I say I'm very chatty and talkative, so feel free to strike up conversation with me however you feel comfortable. I'm very open to sharing my experiences and what little knowledge I have, you just have to ask. Looking forward to a lot of learning and chatting (and complaining!)
  26. 4 likes
    So a few, somewhat popular youtubers have decided to share the scariest movies for them when they were a child. You can view the videos here. I thought that this would be an interesting topic. So, what were the scariest movies (or any piece of media) for you when you were a child? For me, by far, the scariest movie was "Jurassic Park". I was like 8 when I first watched it. I didn't finish. I don't think I actually saw the movie in its entirety until I was like 15. And the movie is only PG! This movie starts off all nice and friendly too. Minor Spoilers: Next for me was Doctor Who. Not every episode was scary, but there are a few episodes which really stand out. If you've ever watched Doctor Who, you'll know which ones they are. By the time season 6 came out, I was a teenager, and Doctor Who no longer scared me. However the absolute scariest episode was the library episode. Absolutely terrifying to me as a child. I rewatched that episode (or pair of episodes at least) when I was older and they didn't scare me at all. But as a child, oh boy did they ever. Also, every episode with weeping angels (before season 6). Scary AF. The entire premise behind the weeping angels is both genius and terrifying. And last, the episode "Midnight". Even as an adult, that episode gives me chills. It's so creepy. (Side note: If you've never watched Doctor Who, I'd highly recommend watching the epsiodes "Blink" and "Midnight". Not much prior knowledge of Doctor Who is necessary to enjoy them, and they are absolutely brilliant.) Doctor Who was probably the biggest source of nightmares for me as a child. I'm also going to mention "The Exorcist". Even though I was like 14 when I saw it and not really a child, it still gave me nightmares. I have no doubt that that movie would scare me still as an adult (If you didn't know, I don't like scary things as I get scared really easy ). So what movies/tv shows/books/other form of media scared you the most as a child? Do they still scare you?
  27. 4 likes
    And so the second war of the roses began, this time between the remnants of the Tudor house and the righteous legions of the servants of Papo.
  28. 4 likes
    I am trying to settle on whether or not I experience romantic attraction. I've had a couple of possible crushes so I'm going to list what they were like and let you guys help me out. -I wanted them to cuddle with me and stuff. -I felt really happy around them and felt a jolt when they touched me. (I may be touch starved though.) -I did not feel very jealous or heartbroken if they had a partner. -I didn't actually want to be in a romantic relationship, although it could be because I tell myself I'm not ready for one. -I wanted to be really close friends. -I wanted to engage in meaningful activities and conversations. So what do you think? Crush or plush (platonic & sensual attraction)? I am open to ideas, and although I currently identify as Quoiromantic, I would like to narrow things down if possible. I've also considered alterous before, but I don't quite understand it. Also, if anyone has similar experiences with "crushes" please share so I'm not alone.
  29. 4 likes
    It has been my impression that the community here is incredibly diverse despite being younger than the general population since older people are less likely to contribute to a forum like this. Honestly the only thing that (almost) every contributor has in common is a care for the aromantic community in some way—not even every user is aromantic, though I'd imagine that the majority are. There are no demographic requirements to "belong here", though there might be some social ones: pathologically trolling sensitive threads isn't very conducive to productive discourse. That aside, I hope that you ultimately decide that you do belong here, and I'm sure that the rest of the community does too.
  30. 4 likes
    I don't see the following as being on the aromantic spectrum: - "I'm eight and my boyfriend wants to kiss but kissing is gross, so I must be aromantic." "A guy wants me to be his girlfriend but I'm afraid of getting pregnant, so I must be aromantic.' "Every guy who wants me to be his girlfriend is unemployed or a druggie, and I don't have feelings for any of them, so I must be aromantic." 'I hate men so I must be aromantic."
  31. 4 likes
    YMBAI you never planned/fantacised about your wedding as a kid
  32. 4 likes
    Other possibilities would be 400:Bad Request 403:Forbidden 405:Method Not Allowed 406:Not Acceptable 409:Conflict 410:Gone 417:Expectation Failed 418:I'm a teapot 421:Misdirected Request 501:Not Implemented 505:HTTP Version Not Supported
  33. 4 likes
    I don't really get why exactly the "typical" HAS to affect one's free time to so high a degree. :-? I don't get how on earth people see strangers are more suitable for them (partner-wise) than a best friend whom they know well and with whom they feel comfortable and warm and so on. (error 404)
  34. 4 likes
    I was six or seven years old, attending a small school in a small city in East Euroope still rebuilding after the Second World War. The school had normal classrooms and the gym was the courtyard, but there was a largish meeting room. One day, I'm given some schoolwork and am absorbed in it. Suddenly the teacher says my name, and I look up and realize that I'm the only kid still in my class. The teacher tells me to stand and leads me to the meeting room. She opens the door, and the lights in the room are dim, with music playing. All the pupils my age are dancing in pairs. The teacher leads me to one girl from my class, and arranges our bodies and arms in a tango pose. I feel the girl's cheek pressed against mine and shriek and dash out the door. An adult from the school catches up with me in the courtyard and leads me back to the class. Later, the other kids return to class, and the whole thing is never mentioned by anyone. This isn't a delusion. It really happened.
  35. 4 likes
    At least that is guaranteed. Similar as Jean-Paul Sartre said: “If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company.” It's not only that it's not enough for them, it's also that many people seem incapable of this today. Since @NullVector mentioned “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” I watched it now in the mean time, pretty cringe-worthy, but what I most disliked about it is how much his virgin status is connected to his loneliness. Take home message from this movie: Don't expect to be normal and not lonely without romance. As if only losing your virginity would magically solve this problem... I've learned now, that in a strange way, yes, emotionless sex with a stranger will make me feel less lonely – but for how long? Maybe for 24 hours afterwards. That's why I would like to meet other aros IRL (whatever their gender or sexual orientation might be), not for some debauched aro sex orgy, but they would probably take friendship much more seriously (and we would have already something important in common).
  36. 4 likes
    YMBAI you are comfortable being yourself.. a little too much (everyone thinks you're weird, but basically you're only different because you aren't afraid of putting people off)
  37. 4 likes
    YMBAI you just don't understand why it is so great to wear other person's hoodie. It propably has that other person's sweat in it! Yick!
  38. 4 likes
  39. 4 likes
    "All's fair in love and war." - the first part So it's fair to do wrongs to people, to give up on precious friendships and so on in the name of the object of one's infatuation? #error404
  40. 4 likes
    Someone my age: "How can people get married without love?" How can people be as bigoted as you, lady?
  41. 4 likes
    People do want it, definitely. I mean, I know a guy who spent decades hiding the fact that his 'roommate' was actually his romantic partner, even though he risked losing his job, being physically attacked, or being arrested if people figured out the truth. If all he wanted was a life partner, he could have had that with far less risk. If all he wanted was gay sex, he could have gone to a bathhouse, and had anonymous sex, which would be a lot less suspicious than having a man he lived with and slept in the same bed with. But he wanted a romantic partner so badly that he risked serious consequences and hid his true feelings from the public eye.
  42. 4 likes
    Someone suggested we should ask gray-aros to find out what "romo" attraction could be described and feels like. I'll try to give my perspective as a "dark-gray" demi-romantic. Please note that I am brainstorming here. First off, I agree that it might be useful to differentiate between different kinds of love, and to distinguish loving someone from falling and being _in_ love. The greeks had multiple words which can be translated as "love", so that word alone is pretty ambiguous. Then again, _romantic_ love is a bit more specific ofc. But it might be helpful to make clear in any "official" definition that aros are indeed capable of feeling non-romantic kinds of love, so as to not feed any stereotype of a lack of empathy or similar. I'd say I was _in_ love precisely once. It was in a context where I had _a lot_ of time to cultivate trust through exchanges online before ever even meeting up, which when it finally happened were some of the most intense experiences I have felt. Sadly I have not been able to replicate those feelings with anyone else so far. And I was in other relationships since, albeit complicated ones because my aro "tendencies" lead to a bit of an identity crisis that I'm still working out. So what does being _in_ love feel like? One quote on the subject that keeps amusing me is the following from the book The Ethical Slut: "Look at the lyrics of popular songs, or read some classical poetry: the phrases we choose to describe romantic love don’t really sound all that pleasant. Crazy in love, love hurts, obsession, heartbreak … these are all descriptions of mental or physical illness. The thing that gets called romantic love in this culture seems to be a heady cocktail of lust and adrenaline, sparked by uncertainty, insecurity, perhaps even anger or danger. The chills up the spine that we recognize as passion are, in fact, the same physical phenomenon as hair rising up on a cat's back and are caused by the fight-or-flight response. This kind of love can be thrilling and overwhelming and sometimes a hell of a lot of fun, but it is not the only 'real' kind of love, nor is it always a good basis for an ongoing relationship. Yet as George Bernard Shaw famously remarked, 'When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.'" But is falling and being in love the same as experiencing romantic attraction? I'm not sure. I guess more or less? Is having sex the same as experiencing sexual attraction? We know there are people who identify as asexual but still enjoy the sensations of partnered sexual stimulation (defined as cupiosexual, and altho I have seen some controversy about that subject on AVEN at least, it does seem to be accepted "officially" by large parts of the ace community). But it is difficult to define romantic attraction in terms of behaviour, just as it is difficult to do so with sexual orientation. Asexuals might have sex, like homosexhals might have heterosexual sex(?), or vice versa(?). Aros might still want to engage in any of the actions typically regarded as romantic: Spend time with a squish in a queerplatonic relationship and enjoy any kind of physical intimacy and sensation. Forms of attraction and a lack thereof can only be defined in terms of personal experience. Now, we might argue about the universality of human experience and the adequacy of human language in capturing it, but then again we don't want to waste all of our time on deconstructions. For me personally, there is a qualitative difference between loving a friend and being in love romantically. We might again argue about romance being a cultural construct and the universality of that, but arguing about an aromantic experience in the first place also implies romance as a valid category. I haven't read this whole thread yet, so I'm sure I will repeat what has been said already. Romantic attraction usually involves feelings of jealousy, but we have learned from poly communities that those cannot be a prerequisite and have more to do with individual insecurities. Most people experience romantic attraction moreso during the beginning and first phases of a relationship. The usual trope is that people can fall in love rather quickly; whether "love at first sight" is mere infatuation and in how far that is different from being in love I cannot tell, but there are certainly people who fall in love quite fast and relatively often. But then again, for gray-/demiromantics that can be very different as well. Thinking about aro relationships now, I see some parallels to solo poly descriptions of desire. Perhaps defining factors might be found around the idea of the "relationship escalator", the desire to cultivate an increasingly intimate bond with the object (focus, receiver) of romantic attraction. Of course most solo polys aren't aromantic(?), but I feel like a definition of romantic feelings boils down to something like that. Polyamorous people in general do spread their focus of romantic desire on multiple people, but from reading and listening to many of their stories, and even just because of limits in time and space, their romantic attraction at any given moment is usually concerned with one partner at a time and periods of meeting and getting to know new partners are described as special and especially romantic ("new relationship energy"). That's all I got for right now. 🙃
  43. 4 likes
    I know you're joking a bit here, but actually, gift buying in general is something that has always made feel me a bit uncomfortable. I knda feel here like I'm being emotionally blackmailed by society and/or coproprate advertising into expressing the 'worth' a personal relationship along narrow, market oriented lines. Being encoured toward commodifying human emotional sentiments. It almost feels like an act of sacrilige or idol worship (says the atheist, lol). I don't want to express my feelings towards somebody with a card, or a ring, or whatever. It's totally inadequate and kind of insulting and infuriating to feel manipulated into that (plus it's kind of saying: express your feelings towards this person by feeding the consumerist machine that's killing your planet - this is the only legitimate and generally socially acceptable way of doing so) I wonder if that's just me or something other aros or aro-specs can relate to? Probably I'm over-reacting
  44. 4 likes
    It's also interesting how little fuss is made about the rigid gender roles involved here. It's one of the most successful invented traditions in history. Hugely profitable to De Beers.
  45. 4 likes
    I lost my virginity outside of a relationship. I was out with a guy friend of mine and I started flirting with him. Flirting lead to a nervous conversation about our interests, and that lead to me asking if we could meet tomorrow to have sex at his place. He agreed, and whoop, there it goes. Before I even had my first kiss. Excuse the generalization, but guy friends generally respond pretty well to offers to fool around. This has just been my experience. So they might be a good place to start. Apps like Tinder are crawling with folks who wanna hook up; choose wisely though. You're gonna want to establish a good rapport with anyone you're hooking up with so you can tell them frankly what you want out of the experience. There should be no way to tell. Any myths that you may have heard about popping cherries or hymens breaking (ffs, why are people still saying bleeding is normal?? You know what causes bleeding? Sticking it in too fucking soon). I'd say to avoid most of the discomfort, get to know your own body before you ever get with a partner. If you're gonna do penetrative sex, know where in your insides feel good. Does penetration not feel good? Then don't do it. Sex is what you want out of it. If you're having sex that you don't want, it's not sex. (Sorry if this was a bit of a tangent ^^")
  46. 4 likes
    So I've got a question or two I've been dying to discuss and this seems like a good place to do it. How do you lose your virginity without a relationship? As a 21 year old girl who is aromantic allosexual, I've never had the opportunity to have sex simply because I really don't want to date. I don't know how else to find a sexual partner I trust enough to lose my virginity to. also, although I'm not particularly attached to my virginity and would love to have sex, I know the first time can be uncomfortable or even painful. This seems like reason enough to tell a potential partner, but would they really be able to tell? Is there any way that if I didn't tell someone I was a virgin they would be able to figure it out?
  47. 4 likes
    I feel like it's partly because we look at it from a logical standpoint rather than 'rose-tinted glasses'
  48. 4 likes
    Ooooh so many irony in the life of an aromantic person : I give better advices about love and relationships by pure logic and observation than the majority of my alloromantic friends. Like many of you have said : Valentine's Day is an excuse for me to get more chocolate at lower cost When you're at a party and you participe in a a less sexual 'never I have ever', and of course the maint topic would be romance and you humble servant (aka me) would remain sober while all the others would get smashed. And at the end of the party I have a clear head and several compromising photos of my friends
  49. 4 likes
    - Having your relatives and friends try to set you up cause they think you're lonely. - Having people ask you out. Then when you regect them they ask why. It's annoying. - No representation in the media. Like at all. - Friendship < Relationship is the social construct. I once bought a shirt that said "Single, and I'd like to stay that way." Got hit on twice as much. No logic.
  50. 4 likes
    Having to give a vocabulary lesson every time you come out to someone