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  2. Good point. I included them, but i realize it was not clear.
  3. My only critique would be to slightly expand this to read “a person who doesn’t completely and exclusively identify as their assigned gender at birth”, to make it clear that (for example) bigender people who ID as both a boy and a girl and afab demigirls can ID as trans.
  4. Today
  5. Alright It's still inaccurate. Some trans peoples don't give a shit about how they are perceived. That, however, is right. And I (a trans person ) would suggest you to use that definition : "a person who don't Identity as their assigned gender at birth" . It's simple and inclusive. Unless other trans peoples have an objection of course. [edit : and when i say "objection" , i am talking about wording or something i may have overlooked. This is not an invitation to erase some trans peoples ]
  6. I am just going to say that you can be aro and have happy dreams about relationships. Even if one day it become real. Also, not every relationship is romantic. (not that aro can't be in romantic relationships, but i can't really talk about it and be sure of what i am saying ) It can be a side-effect, but it don't make you more aro or less aro. Being aro is about romantic attraction (well, the lack of it). I can't tell you exactly what it is because i never felt it, and i guess peoples can give it their own definition? My answer is probably incomplete, but i hope it help...
  7. That’s where the “and/or” and the second part of the statement (which you cut off) came in. I was trying to cover all the bases of different ways people know they’re trans, but it’s kinda hard to do without being long winded
  8. ThatGhostBoy

    Doubts

    I used to be really sure about being a romantic but now I’m not. Lately I’ve been having dreams where I’m in a relationship and they’re so great. Does disliking relationship nicknames, romantic movies, and being unable to understand the concept of monogamy/long term relationships make me aro or arospec or allo? I can’t tell and I’m just confused
  9. Hm, not so sure about that. Some trans peoples are perfectly fine with it, it don't bother them. They are not less trans. It's about being a different gender than the one assigned to you at birth. Simple. (yes, even non binary peoples who partially identify as such )
  10. aro_elise

    Body Mods

    just earrings, and i dye my hair a lot but it's natural at the moment. i'm considering getting a tattoo but the permanence freaks me out.
  11. Jot-Aro Kujo

    Body Mods

    I've just got regular old earrings, but someday I would like a tattoo of a flamel on my left shoulder. (Edit: I do also dye my hair a lot. Currently, my thing is lime green bangs, which I've had for the past few years.)
  12. Krispy

    Body Mods

    id really like to get a small wrist tattoo at some point, one like probably looks like this im such a nerd for music lol
  13. 100% a real problem - I'd say that it'd be good to be able to choose someone you trust to be your uhh proxy/plenipotentiary for situations like medical decisions, having access to your medical records. Marriage is also simplifying the issues of inheritance, but I guess this mostly would be an issue for people who do have partners, but don't get married. In terms of both of those, allying with poly and queer partnering people (where they don't have the option to get married) would be beneficial - it's harder to ignore a bigger group of people With adoption I'll just say +1. This is a big issue for aromantics and singles in general, so especially single aromantics. Discrimination can have many faces, like someone noticed it doesn't have to be firing someone for being aro. It can also being overlooked in promoting, having a lower salary (someone who's single doesn't need the money anyway am I right??* *note: yes, this is right, but in the current climate "from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs" isn't working out anyway, right?? right), being forced to work at hours/on days no one wants to work, being excluded socially, etc. Here alignment with singles that aren't aro and childless people and women who have families, but earn less than men who have families would make us a bigger group Talked some about medical stuff in marriage too, so won't repeat that addition. But here I believe a change of mentality is needed - singles receive worse treatment, because their lives are perceived as being less worth saving *shrug*. It's a real problem that should be brought to attention of more people, but probably not something that can be solved by legislation. Activist groups would be great too hehe. But yes, some solutions for people who don't have that familial/spousal support network is needed and should be talked about. If we can't provide a kid with 100% responsible, stable, mature, conventional hetero couple, it's better for them to rot in orphanages where they have oh so great adult oversight and opportunities aplenty, clearly. Cool cool. Yeah, but it's still for couples, leaving poly and other non-duo friend constellations with no options. Yes! All the more likely those problems will find solutions The only thing I'd be wary of would be the amatonormative mentality of "well, but I'll get a partner eventually and it won't affect me anymore" of some of those people. The society generally holds the belief that giving greater advantage to marrieds with children is 100% right. Contact sports 😜 Good old sex work 😜 New career opportunities for professional cuddlers 😜 But for real now - maybe there will appear some ways to fulfill those needs that aren't here today. Meanwhile we can focus on mentality in which toching friends could happen more often. Mmm, great point. I, uh, thought that this is what we were discussion here, reforms that would legitimize lifestyles other than hetero couple marriage. I don't think anything that's been said here called for a revolution. It can be a fantasy only, but at least sometimes the kids can pay for the nursing homes. To have more extra money, it'd be cool to have the same salary that people who have children and/or families do And people can be minimalist and not think about some far-away prospects of "having money for retirement", sigh, especially if they're working tiring but underpaid jobs. So here I'd focus on first allowing people to have the money they can leave for later (or invest) and then encouraging them to do so. This can always be changed This would be the best option lbr. Realistically?? The kind of society that no longer tells the elderly to get their stuff and leave the household when they can't work anymore and the family can't spare the freeloaders. I'm gonna... take a wild guess and... assume that most people here don't live in either of those countries. And if they do... they can probably recognize what their priorities are... And as a person not living in NK or SA, I always I think I can aim higher than "not fearing for my life 24/7", for example aiming for "the best standard of life and equality for all in the place where I live" This is my view too - this doesn't have to fly under the banner of "making the world a better place for aromantics, but aromantics only, if you want to benefit from this, you have to show your aro card". In my understanding those are issues that also impact aros and as a group we could be working on allying with other impacted groups to make the changes that are benefiting all...?? I’m always surprised how many people regard laws as good instruments to change attitudes and for reeducation. Oh boy, who said anything about reeducation by law..?? And what kind of reeducation would that be...?? Because the line "away from pair-bonding" makes me think someone was suggesting abolishing options of legal pair-bonding here.............?? I thought I read a thread about changing and adjusting policies that currently don't include people who aren't pair-bonded. Great point!
  14. Cristal Gris

    Body Mods

    I like how they look ! I was told to go to a jewelry store (you can find acceptable price, at least where i live ). I am also a big fan of jewelry, even if i don't really wear it myself. I know a french non binary youtuber with a split tongue! Well, i don't know her personnaly, but i watch her video sometime. (that being said, she seems to not really speak about the "A" in the lgbt+ community when she mention the whole community. As long she don't say crap, i am mostly fine, i am here for the trans things. I am a bit worried, still.). It does seem scary… I can't even deal with needles (that's going to be a problem with hearrings haha) neat ! I sometime imagine myself with a light pink colour… I don't know if i wil act on that . -- To be honnest, i want to play with my apparence. I want my feminity to bring out my masculinity, and my masculinity to bring out my feminity. Both at once. My gender is neutral and totally out of the binary man/woman , but for my gender expression… It sound cool
  15. eOrion

    Body Mods

    oooh fair! they're a nice one to get make sure you go to a piercing/tattoo place if you do get one! i got my first ones at a chemist but oof, never a good idea to get piercings at any place that uses piercing guns. I have - double lobe piercings on each ear, a helix, labret (middle of bottom lip), eyebrow, navel, septum, and today!! I got an industrial piercing!! I was terrified and my friend held my hand the entire time ♥ I also have 3 stick n pokes (self done) of an arrow, a tortoise riding a skateboard and wearing sunglasses, and a trans symbol but with a love heart instead of a circle. I frequently dye my hair unnatural colours. I really want a split tongue but they're a lot of money and also it seems like it would be too scary for me to get done. My favs are: stick n pokes (makes me feel more comfortable in my body. Tortoise is on my bicep and makes me look a little more buff), labret (helped me with dysphoria, focused on a nice shiny thing instead of feminine features - also fun to stim with) and my navel piercing (helped with tummy related body image issues)
  16. Cristal Gris

    Body Mods

    I dont but i have been thinking about earrings. I am not so sure now, maybe someday !
  17. eOrion

    Body Mods

    Anyone have any body-mods? (eg, hair dye, tattoos, piercings, aesthetic surgery, ect) If so: Which do you have? Which do you want? Which are your favourites? ♥♥♥!
  18. ive been in a romantic and a queerplatonic relationship, i knew i didnt feel attraction; but i still had a desire for those relationships only,,, as it turned out,,, im not good in relationships. I get too uncomfortable, i don't show as much affection because it feels to serious and like its something i need to do; rather than want, and don't like getting affection from partners, because it still feels like something im obligated to accept rather than want to. Pretty much as soon as we stopped dating i went back to being overly affectionate with my ex bf. Every so often i still crave a qpp, i think because on one level i want that commitment; but on another level it doesnt work out for me.
  19. I haven't experienced this personally, but I ran into someone on Tumblr who has, relevant posts here and here.
  20. There's a song called "Aromantic Moodboard" which i've been listening to on repeat non-stop, i love it so much
  21. working now! and 😮 i love it!! ♥
  22. Also, like, voidpunk shouldnt be something thats gatekept based on label. If Im not mistaken, anyone whose identity has been dehumanised because of some perceived lack can use voidpunk; this includes autistic people, nonbinary people, schiz-spec people, empathy fluctuating people, physical disabilities, you name it(this includes allo-aros, non-SAM people, and allo-aces I would think). The idea of a punk movement(and punk itself has never been "apolitical") like this isnt some checklist or box you have to fit into, and people are making voldsonas with some current trending aesthetical characteristics, sure, but it's about far more than that. Why would allo-aros be excluded(the only exclusions should be of course Terfs, pedos, bigots, people who wouldnt get it anyway tbh). Just my thoughts but Joto-Aro-Kujo still has the best articulation of an idea they founded and Im inclined to stick with it.
  23. I think you may be looking at history as purly accademic and research based, and while that is one way to look at history, there's another away of looking at history, which is offten more common in queer communites, and that's as a way of telling stories about ourselves and who we are. A great example of this with vocabulary is the term Bambi-sexual. This was a, not super common term, that happened to be included in a few diffrent queer and gay glossaries back in the 80’s. Now would those sources be especially helpful to academic historians trying to find the origin and different uses of the term? Probably not. But when dug up and remembered by community members outside of that field it help inform an understanding and narrative of what the gay and lesbian communities were like in the late 80’s. It show us a way in which this community has changed over time, it gives us some idea of the diversity of experiences within that community and it helps us understand what some social and cultural norms may have been in that time and place (in this case Los Angeles). And with Bambi-sexual in particular, a lot of alloace’s saw the term and said, “Hey, that sounds a lot like me, isn’t it cool that people like me existed in the past even if we use different terms now!” and that’s important too because it gives us not just a sense of what was happening then, but a sense of where a certain group was in history. And yeah, it maybe doesn’t give all the information that an academic historian or linguist would want, but it still informs us. Language builds and reflects culture and preserving language in one form or another, can in many ways help preserve an understanding of that culture and who we are as a group. Now I am certainly willing to have a conversation about how we make these lists and glossaries, and what context should be included with them. For instance the AUREA glossary includes sources to the coining of each word when possible and maybe we should make that more of a norm, but I don’t think having less documentations of terms is super helpful. It is always good to have as much information as possible, and while this is just a personal preference, I would prefer do have half a dozen uncontextualized glossaries than lose all that language completely. Even language without coinage and multiple context can be useful, or at the very least interesting. Well it's worth noting then that a lot of the "glossaries" in those foot notes were not actualy labeled or intended as glossaries. Most of them are tittled "list of aro-spec identies" or something like that. If a glossary is only a glossary when labled as such then we're not actually having a discusion about the right topic.
  24. I think I was like... mid 20s. I didnt know the word existed and I never really was able to imagine myself with a romantic partner and had a (rather amatonormative) rule in my Youth that Id just marry the first person I could stand to live with. But it wasnt until I became very close to a friend who very much wanted something romantic with me, and I knew I felt something very strong for him that definitely wasnt romance(we are still deeply loyal to each other even though our lives have long parted paths and diverged) and Googled it. I found the word "squish" on AVEN and found aro and that was that. I started being out this year on tumblr, and bought a white ring. To be honest i dont think you need an "age". You can be any age. If you feel thats you, then use the label. I also dont believe theres anything wrong with young people exploring their identities and maybe Even changing labels later in life.
  25. Ive been referring your tumblr to people Asking me what voidpunk is since it's my top hashtag 😆
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