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  1. Past hour
  2. Me, who has "ANTI-PEDOPHILIA" in her blog title in all caps, is very vocal about it: (Posts pictures of two very reasonable, mature, and modest dresses) Hey guys, I'm trying to expand my lolita wardrobe, which should I buy?
    Some dumbass anon who has apparently never heard of the concept of homophones and can't be bothered to take two seconds to google anything: Ummmm have you tried not sexualizing children you scum :/// Do you even know what that book is about :////////

  3. Today
  4. Aros at family-orientated events and holidays

    I don't see my external family that much but to be honest how I deal with is is...get drunk. It's a really sad and not healthy way to deal with things but I'm really not sociable anyway so it temps on basically all levels. I mean every women on my father's side of family (I don't see the other one) are in long-lasting relationship (even my 15 yo cousin) most of them even recently have children. I definetely know it will come up. Last year everyone was so focused on babies (yeah awful) they thankfully didn't talk to me but in june I'll have to see them for the wedding of one of them and it will for sure come up during the week sooo alchohol is my solution. I'll probably just giggle and not answer. We'll see. Which is funny tho is that I had a favorite cousin for a long time and then she asked me when I was twelve "Ooh and do you have a boyfriend?" I think I cried and never talked to her again. I didn't even know I was aromantic at the time but it was so uncomfortable I just cried.
  5. I'm so glad to have found this thread I never knew there were some other people being touch-repulsed in this community. I didn't even think the two could be related but it makes a lot of sense now. A lot of alloromantic put touch as the biggest part of showing their romantics affection. It makes sense that us being not attracted to that idea in any way we could be touch repulsed because it's just not important and reassuring for us we just find it creepy and uncomfortable. It makes so much sense to me now.
  6. That feeling when

    That feeling when you're reminded of one of the few good AVEN threads.
  7. What made you happy today?

    I suddenly got a bunch of really kind messages sent to my aro blog one after the other! Made my day.
  8. What made you happy today?

    This is such a cute thread. I'm going to add that I took my senior dog for a walk today and she was so happy to be out with me she started trotting along and trying to get me to chase her like she used to do when she was a puppy. It was so cute and it made me happy. Dogs are so pure.
  9. Love this topic, and reading everyone's responses. As for me, I grew up with parents who weren't very affectionate at all and who never spoke about their feelings or deep issues (like identity and finding yourself and all that). I think that because of that, my emotional and social development was slow and only took off very late (around 3rd year college, when I lived away from home). So, I didn't think about my wants or attractions or identity until recently. In true Old Polish "show no feelings" fashion, I don't share any of that with my family. I catch my parents sometimes just assuming I'm straight and am dating behind their backs, or alternatively am so focused on my studies and career that I'm choosing to stay single *for now*. Sometimes I'm salty that I didn't get to see an example of what a romantic relationship really looks like (and who knows? Maybe that's why I'm romance-repulsed; lovey-dovey stuff is foreign to me and I never saw it much growing up), but when I /do/ see examples via friends, I'm still repulsed. So perhaps some of my preferences have to do with upbringing, and some are just Me, which makes sense. Nature/Nurture balance.
  10. hey there!

    So glad you decided to come by even though forums and social media can be scary for you! We're all nice peeps here, I think. You sound lovely.
  11. Aromantic Character Headcanons

    (Kicks door in) HELLO THANKS. BYE. (P.S. - The original Sherlock Holmes is always aro in my heart and I love him. Also, Tooru from BNHA. Because she's invisible, y'see.)
  12. Using Valentine’s Day to show platonic love.

    very maybe possibly.
  13. Is it worst after 30 yo?

    I met a mature age student at university, she was about 42 at that time. Lived alone with pets, no partner, no kids. She decided all her friends were getting boring and she was interested in getting another degree so she went back to uni and made a whole new set of friends in their late teens/early twenties. So she obviously didn't want to settle down so she made it work for her. The 'tik tok' thing is mostly about the biological clock right? that generally doesn't seem to worry women until around 35, and generally those are the women who think having kids might be a good idea (and so probably shouldn't do it because they become the worst helicopter parents and there children are fairly nasty). You either really want kids- breeding is a life goal for you, or you shouldn't have any- get yourself a foster child if you sway more to the yes side of maybe.
  14. Yesterday
  15. What is sold at an inconvenience store?

    Every device or system that can be programmed to process data automatically is technically a computer thus "a computer". Interestingly though my home modem-router has a conventional power button that really cuts the power, unsurprisingly though it's at the back out of the way. A store that sells gallium kettles.
  16. Count to one million 🐭

  17. Is it worst after 30 yo?

    I'm over 30....by several months. I don't know about settling down....I've never started courting, dating or anything yet. If it's the "ultimate goal" of life then why do most live decades beyond the optimal child bearing age and often decades beyond one's children growing up and moving on? Life has no ultimate goal contrary to what Hollywood suggests and some would like to believe. I think the fear is really based on wondering what'll happen if one does change one's mind or losing the window of opportunity, because like me there has been things one regrets long after it's too late. But that's not living, that's wasting time [word I can't think of right now because I'm very tired right now] over the past and things one can't do anything about. So let me quote Alan Price: "Memories are only about the past The present time will never last The future lies within your heart" But 30 is not too late to change ones career, start education (no age is too old IMO) or even "settle down" or give birth. However I would say by that age you'll have a better idea of yourself and what you want and maybe how you'll get it - so I'm pretty sure I'm not going to want kids. If anything you'll probably get less of "oh you're still young you'll change your mind" and such. Just keep going and enjoy life by making new good memories and not ones envying what you might've missed.
  18. What is sold at an inconvenience store?

    A computer without a power button. Oh well, those actually exist.* * technically a computer. And I'm using a similar one right now… not the weak Raspberry Pi but a 100 € SBC… still without a power button! yesterday my real PC fried.
  19. Is it worst after 30 yo?

    ah I can't help because I'm sixteen but this something I worry about a lot too? so you're in good company. All I know is that being aro/ace has gotten a lot harder for me over time already due to freinds' relationships becoming more significant in their lives.
  20. Hogwarts Houses!

    Gryffindor, Erudite and child of aphrodite I always liked Slytherin a lot more but I guess with my adrenaline addiction it's kind of obvious I'm more of a Gryffindor And I guess aphrodite is not fitting at all...? But if the quiz thinks so
  21. I was confused about my aromanticism for a long time because I'm EXTRA bisexual. I get sexual crushes on people allllllll the time, and they're usually intense. I just don't fall in love with them. I can and have experienced limerence, but it burns out quick and always vanishes if I find out my feelings are reciprocated. So that def added to my years of mislabelling as romantic.
  22. Is it worst after 30 yo?

    Hello, I was wondering if there was anyone over 30 yo on the forum because I really wanted to ask something. I'm eighteen right now and I know it's pretty early to start freaking out a bit about that but I have this really huge fear of mine of being an over 30 yo aromantic. In every movies, TV shows and even in real life we can easily observe that after passing the 30 years old step most people start wanting to settle down...be in a relationship and found a family. I feel like for most people it's their ultimate goal and purpose in life and it terrifies to think about all the societal pressure might come from that. I'm also a woman and I feel like it's probably worst because of the famous "tik tok tik tok the clock is tickiiing". I just wanted to ask you. Is it really that bad? Is it really as stressful as I think it might be? And if it is how do you manage it? Did you find some solution to protect yourself from that? It's a really huge fear of mine and I would love to know if I have any reasons to panic at all or if it's just in my mind. I'm eighteen so I'm sure by the time I'm thirty it'll probably be easier with the world more open...at least I hope but you never know and if it stays the same I wanna be prepared. Thank you anyway for reading this and especially if you can answer. It would be really appreciated
  23. What's coming out like?

    I think coming out varies a lot on whether your friends are lgbt or not as well. If they are they're more likely to know about aromanticism or at least be open to new orientations if they haven't. straight friends unless they are very invested allies are much less likely to and you might need to be careful
  24. What's coming out like?

    I think the biggest problem coming out is that most people don't even now about aromanticism. My friends reacted really well but they already knew that I wasn't interested in romantic relationships so it was merely explanation and a label for something they already were aware of. My mother straight out rejected the idea :'D It was pretty cliche, the whole you just haven't found the right guy, you just need to open up more and let people get to know you and then she seemed so sad by the thought that anyone might end up without a romantic partner that I kinda gave up because it was really upsetting her and in the end it isn't really important that my parents know the label. They don't pressure me into anything and when they ask about boyfriends I just tell them there is no one I'm interested in. You should probably get ready to explain a lot because just telling whoever you're coming out to that you're aro will probably not work. I tried that with a friend like just dropping the bomb and she just looked at me and had no idea what I was talking about :'D But good luck and best start small with a few friends whos reaction you can estimate. Then the first time won't be that hard and you will feel better about coming out to other people.
  25. I always assumed i was straight and just hadn't met anyone worthy of my attention and because I always kinda blocked everyone interested in me without realizing it (so I've been told) I kinda assumed no one was really interested in me (which is strangely depressing for me considering that normally I have quite a high self-esteem). Then someone got interested in me and i actually noticed (took me only about half a year \o/) and I realized that there is no attention to be worthy of romance wise.
  26. My parents are absolutely sickeningly sweet together (my father makes jewelry as a hobby and forged them new wedding rings at some workshop while they were on holidays together :'D) but never really pressured me into anything. I know how much they want that for me and they really can't understand me being aromantic (it was kinda like no you aren't you just have to be more open) I always saw romantic relationships as something positive (still do if all people involved are happy with it) and I really like the idea of somebody having someone like that, this ideal picture of true love but firstly it's just not like this in RL and well it's just not for me
  27. why are allos always out here acting like we're just secretly gay or Repressing Our True Feelings as if we don't hyper-analyze every interaction we have with/emotion we feel towards another person worrying that we're faking and actually are experiencing attraction

    1. Zemaddog


      This also perfectly describes the trans experience.

  28. Favourite Anime/Manga(s)?

    also Fullmetal Alchemist! I haven't watched the original anime (though I'm meaning to) but I've watched brotherhood and managed to slooooowly collect all the manga which I love to bits. Also Yonen Buzz which is this weird manga about some guys in a band that I honestly can't explain my attachment to? I also can't find the fourth volume in English which is sad, but I love the art style and there's a lot of really good music recommendations in the manga (for instance that's how I got into shonen knife)
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